Barnone Posted July 3, 2006 Report Share Posted July 3, 2006 Hi Everyone I was speaking with an SA immigrant to Australia & he came up with the following interesting observation/statement ... "immigrants tend to want to microwave relationships". I think what he was meaning was that for immigrants relationships tend to happen faster (by force or necessity). As an immigrant to a strange country, without the support and familiarity of long standing relationships which have developed over the years at school, family gatherings, work etc etc immigrants can be a little too eager to form relationships with their new aquaintances (sometimes causing the "aquaintences" to question the intention of the immigrants behaviour & withdraw). Have any of you heard of or experienced this interesting phenomenon & terminology ? Barnone (_0) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DesertDaisy Posted July 3, 2006 Report Share Posted July 3, 2006 Haven't heard the term, but definitely can understand it! I live in an expat-driven environment, and you do tend to form rapid friendships. However, everyone here is on the same footing, so it doesn't put people off.Its just hard in such a mobile society though. Over the last few weeks a number of my friends have unexpectedly found out they were being relocated, so as fast as I make friends, they move..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annette Posted July 4, 2006 Report Share Posted July 4, 2006 Interesting... this being the second time we have emigrated, we are much more cautious about forming friendships this time around - just taking our time and a bit suspicious of people's intentions. We're almost in a once bitten twice shy situation now...When we moved to the UK, we found that we were a bit of a "curiosity" for a while, and therefore were invited to every social event and dinner party going for at least a year, if not a bit longer. Having been lulled into a false sense of security by then, we were shocked to find that once people bored of us, we were no longer as "popular" as we had been and many of our "instant friends" disappeared into the mists, never to be seen again (or to be seen on the arm of whomever had arrived more recently). So, for us it was the other way round ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Jules Posted July 4, 2006 Report Share Posted July 4, 2006 (edited) Hi Barnone, I haven't heard the phrase before but can relate to what your friend was saying. It's only natural that when people have left friends and family behind there is a huge gap in your life and you would want to try and normalise things again as soon as possible. This could perhaps not come across as you want it to to the new acquantance in question and they could understandably retreat. I have experienced the same as Annette. When we first arrived I met a woman at the spice section in Woolies of all places and we got talking. When she found out that I was new in the country she invited me to several get-togethers and being in need of a few friends at the time I accepted. The ladies were all nice enough but once the novelty wore off then I found that the interest had waned. I felt the same way about them as I realised that they were just friendships of convenience to fill a need at that time. Friendship is unfortunately one of those things that has to develop over time and there is no quick fix solution, much as we would like there to be. It is probably one of the most difficult things to accept about being an immigrant, especially if you are used to having a full social calender. There will probably be no shortage of "microwave friends" when you first arrive here but as time goes on most of them will more than likely dwindle away to slowly be replaced by the long term ones.Julie Edited July 4, 2006 by Jules Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JohanK Posted July 4, 2006 Report Share Posted July 4, 2006 I think it could be so true, personally we are lucky we have SA friends that moved here just before us so it helps with the connection to other people and I must say they are very good friends, and it helped with the landing in Perth a hell of a lot. Now I must agree with most of you, don’t rush into making friends or over kill your poor neighbor all will happen in time, Rome was not built in one day. With time you will still make more good friends.My first priority at present is to get my family to settle in as comfortable as possible and for us to explore our new country and surroundings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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