To go or not to go

[RCM]

This is probably the most biast forum to post such a question...but, my wife and I are considering to immigrate to Auz and so far I can see only good reasons to go and can already imagine myself there! I'm not sure whether we will be able to do the LSD trip, so I want to try do as much research as possible on the net. What I want to hear from some of you who have made the move (and try be honest now!), is why should I NOT go? I understand that, even though my immagination tries to tell me otherwise, there is no Etopia and that Aus is not perfect. Can you enlighten me so that I can get a balanced view and try make an informed decision?

Much appreciated!

[Guest Larry]

For me the worst thing was leaving all my family and lifelong friends behind. I realised that I had to stand entirely on my own two feet and that if I stuffed up, there was nobody to whom I could turn for help. - That was scary!

Another thing is the difficulty in finding employment when you have absolutely no work history in Australia. I have heard plenty stories of people getting knocked back as they had "no Australian experience". If you are one of those people who work in an area where "Australia is crying out for people", you will probably not have this problem.

The financial cost. - Regardless of how you organise it, moving to Australia is going to cost you a lot! The earlier (and younger) you do it, the better. Your standard of living will probably drop, but your quality of life will appreciate enormously.

The confusion about what sporting team you support. - This gets worse the longer you are here. When you first arrive, you will probably find yourself supporting South African teams. - You know all the players and their histories. But then as you start integrating into Australian society, you will start showing an interest in Australian teams. - You go to the "footy" with your mates and stop off for a couple of beers afterwards to discuss the match. And then a South African team comes touring...... Who do you support? - You know all the Aussie players. The South African players have changed since you left. You feel that you should support the South African team, but you know (figuratively speaking) all the players in the Australian team. So......?????? Confusion!!

[Dreamcatcher]

Hi there RCM,

Well, you're asking a good question, but I can't tell why you should not come to Aus. I can give you many tips on what is going to be difficult, but to me, it still outweighs my life in SA.

As Larry said, the worst would be family, unfortunately (?) for me, I don't have much close family. I brought my family with me. But a lot of other people are missing their family terribly. I miss my friends sometimes, when I need a shoulder to cry on, or have a special moment to share. But I have found a lot of friends here on the forum, who are sharing my moments with me. Yes, it is not quite the same, but it helps.

Also, it did cost us a lot of money, but it was worth every cent. You can never pay enough for this difference in lifestyle.

You have to be willing to get used to an entirely new climate. We used to live in the tropics, now we live in dry hell in summer, and we're freezing in winter. Had to go and replace our complete winter wardrobe. Now was that a costly exercise!

Please remember that what we say here, are our own perspectives, and feelings at the time. Some people experience things differently from others. But we try to be as unbiased as we can.

Read this topic started by Seoul Sister, it will give you more information as well.

Greetings,

Dreamy

[SASydneysider]

Hi RCM,

I agree with what Larry has to say and would like to add to that.

We found it difficult to integrate and make friends and still do at times, even after being here 3 years.

We are in Sydney and working hours and travelling time is long. There is very little time to have for yourself or for each other (we have no small children). We thought we were used to the rat race of Jhb and having to work long hours, Sydney is worse.

The cost of living, especially housing in Sydney is very high. Coming to Aus with SA Rand, or as we did first to NZ then to Aus, is quite taxing on one's pocket. Not having many years left to pensionable age is a great concern. I regret the fact that we didn't leave SA when we were much younger!

As Dreamy said, the benefits far outweigh the negatives. It's almost like the benefits make the negatives look quite insignificant!

SAS

[Ajay]

Hi RCM,

Welcome to our forum, first of all - glad to meet you

Before I made the move over here, I trawled the internet looking for exactly the same thing as you - I wanted to know the negatives - what the pitfalls were - what was the catch! So, I can empathise completely with you. And although those that are here are probably biased towards Australia now, we at least have the experience of having made the move to draw on, as opposed to relying on people who "know people that had cousins that moved and it was horrible" , and believe me, there are plenty of those too! So, my first piece of advice for you is to make sure that you talk to people who have first hand knowledge of moving to Australia, and listen to their advice and stories - be they good, bad or indifferent. If you have the time, read my previous note called My Epiphany Click me!

Now, on the issue of the negatives, these are highly subjective and will differ from person to person. The most common themes are missing friends and family and having no spport network. Fortunately, forums such like these are a good way to start building those networks in advance. For instance, I met Riekie and Sa2Auz on forums prior to moving here and we have continued our friendship here in person, which is fantastic. I've also now met many more of our members in person, and this has helped me tremendously. Even those that I haven't yet met have been a great source of comfort to me when I feel alone.

You may also need to drop your standard of living once you get here, and take a less senior job that what you currently have. You will need to prove yourself all over again, and this might take some time, depending on where you secure employment. Some companies are no multi-cultural that it isn't an issue, but others are fiercly Australian and may resent "foreigners". Fortunately, the job market is quite buoyant and there is a real skills shortage, so companies need to hold onto their resources. The lack of Australian experience is a real issue, but persistance and tenacity can go a long way, and it is certainly an easirt hurdle to overcome than the AA / BEE one in SA. My hubby was unemployed in SA for over 3 years, and although he hit the "no local experience" barrier here, he got a job within a month of starting his search and has since moved on to a different company with no trouble (all within 6 months!).

My biggest stumbling block was the "un-familiarity" of it all. I felt wquite overwhelmed by the fact that nothing was familiar to me - from the models of cars, to the streets, to the suburbs, and (as my friends here will remember with amusement) the groceries! I had a real meltdown in my first 2 weeks because I didn;t know what brand of peanut butter to buy I was so used to just feeling at home with everything that the sudden change was very uncomfortable. Obviously, this has now been overcome, but if you aren't prepared for it, it can come as quite a shock. It just all feels different!

Cost of Living is a funny one, because it varies. Going for dinner and a movie is now a treat, as opposed to a cheap night out. Housing is expensive as well. I find groceries to be a bit cheaper, and I love the specials that they have here - there are real bargains to be found. Cars are also waaaaaay cheaper than in SA. Public transport also means that you might not need 2 cars anymore, which is another saving. Insurance is negligable too. As a temporary resident, we have to pay school fees in the pulic schools, whereas permanent residents get free schooling. It's sort of swings and roundabouts, but because of accomodation, it probably ends up being more expensive. Once the SA'ness has been knocked out of you though, (I had no idea how materialistic I was until I got here!!!), you may well find that you are happy to live in a smaller house and drive a smaller car (and thus save on dollars!!!) as no-one really gives a hoot! There are very few Joneses to keep up with here, and if you find one, chances are they're South African

But I have to agree with my fellow posters - the benefits far outweigh the negatives, in my opinion. I have never felt safer or more at peace than I do here, even after such a short time. Sure, there are times when I miss things back in SA. But then I look outside and see no walls and no electric fences, and I realise that my kids are walking / cycling back from school on their own, and my husband is employed again at the level he deserves to be, and that I hop on the train every morning to get to work.........and suddenly the fact that I still don't know which brand of peanut butter is the best seems somewhat irrelevant

Good luck with your decision RCM. I'm sure that you will have many more questions and I hope we see you around here asking them!

Ajay

[chatterbug]

Hey RCM,

Seems like you had some excellent posts so far...good one Ajay! I'll not rehash territory already covered. Another potential issue could be a perceived "loss of identity". Especially if you are mainly Afrikaans and want to maintain your Afrikaans links, traditions and want your kids to be mainly Afrikaans speaking. There are some excellent posts on the Afr issue elsewhere on the forum - take a read of these!

To elaborate - you are not really a "with it" Saffer anymore and the longer you stay here, the more you become "out of it" in relation to RSA. Your memories fade about the realities of living there and you seem to only remember the nostalgic things about RSA.

On the other hand you are also not a pucka Australian, yes you can get your citizenship but you'll probably not sound like one in a hurry and you'll always feel a little bit "out of it" over here, never fully understanding, never fully belonging. Yes over time this changes but it is a process rather than a destination.

If you are a bit more pragmatic about it all and you are not so worried about these things you'd be just fine. Its all worthwhile in the end.

C'bug

Edited July 3, 2006 by chatterbug

[Otto]

Why not to come:

1. You have to leave your animals behind

2. Biltong is difficult to get here.

3. Mrs Balls is far away.

4. You are going to take a financial knock.

5. You have to leave your animals behind.

6. Droëwors is difficult to get.

Thats about it from otto-side

Edited July 2, 2006 by otto

[Jacobus]

Hi and welcome

We have not arrived yet but are in process. Once we have landed in Aus you know you will always be welcome to come and stay with us on a LSD which should cut some of the costs.

[Riekie]

Hi there,

Welcome to the forum! There was a similar question a while ago in one of the sub forums which got quite a number of responses and people opened up about the things about Australia or their emigration, which they battled to come to terms with - mostly the things close to the heart. So, to answer your question truthfully, the reasons for NOT emigrating to Australia (or any other place for that matter) - for me - are mostly the emotional ones:

You miss everyone at home terribly

You miss the familiar places and faces, sounds - even smells

You miss the feeling of belonging (you feel out of place - don't really know how to describe it)

You miss being recognised when you go somewhere : the cashier at the local SPAR, parents of your children's' friends when you pick up your kids from school, the newspaper seller at the traffic light.....

You miss having a support system - the neighbour you can call when your dryer breaks down and you need to get a school uniform dry, the friends down the street you can call to babysit when you need to go out unexpectedly...

You must find a church - which in itself can be challenging especially if you come from an Afrikaans background - and then, you don't feel "part of it" for a very long time.

You must start from scratch to build a circle of friends of which you still battle to feel part of after many months.

You feel like no-one knows you and no-one cares - you feel "removed"

You open up a newspaper or magazine or turn on the TV news and you don't know WHO or WHAT they're talking about! (That's if you can get the accent.... - It took me a while, but I've got it now...) It feels like you're in a bubble

You feel you can't be yourself - you feel restraint, it's as if no one is ever spontaneous and that you must tone down all the time, trapped in yourself

You don't know the food, the labels, the shopping isles and most of all - the trolleys which have a mind of their own and still one of my biggest obstacles - serious!!

I guess the best to describe it is to be in a coma for a long time and then waking up and found the world has changed!

Actual things I find difficult to deal with specifically in Australia: the rules (too many - but it works for everyone)

The traffic in Sydney in peak hour is terrible. Also the many "no right turn" streets - where's the logic??!

Having to start over like an 18 year old to get a driver's license (had one for 18 years!), rent a house (had one paid off), getting new bank accounts and get to know how all the financial stuff works here - everything is different!

The unruly kids, the whingeing Aussies (they don't appreciate what they have!) and the "refer to page 74" attitude. Look the Aussies are great but I think they were not allowed to think for themselves for too long - if it's not in the manual, it's not going to happen. You can't make decisions which would only affect yourself - you constantly feel like you're being interrogated whether it is to get a packet of painkillers or a replacement plug for your hair dryer!

As this question is not about reasons PRO emigrating to Aus, I will not mention them (thank goodness, as I will be here all night!! )

[Danie]

Howzat!

WOW we had some excelent replies, covering most issues!

However, there is two things I would like to add... the Wild life...the Bosveld...

IMHO, Coalas en Cangaroos does NOT count as wild life.!.!.!.!.!.

Thus if you are the big wildlife hunter are you in for a bad surprize...

...however a friend stays down south in Port Hedland and they hunt for deer... probable better than nothing...

O, and the bush, this is not "Bosveld"... nope, nada, NO.

Eucalyptis trees (bloekom bome) does not create the feeling of bush... but I have to admit the bloody trees does grow on you...

But sadly what the others have been say above is true...

I reckon the most important advise is not from your uncle's second wife's daugther's husband's cousin Johnny which did not like Aus because of a long list of this and that and the other.

Man that is no indication that you won't like it either. If you have the money and opertunity do a LSD and come see for yourself.

As for some of the basics like biltong and droewors, boer maak 'n plan and make your own. A little practice is all it takes!

Good luck,

D

[Pippa]

Why not to come:

1. You have to leave your animals behind

2. Biltong is difficult to get here.

3. Mrs Balls is far away.

4. You are going to take a financial knock.

5. You have to leave your animals behind.

6. Droëwors is difficult to get.

Thats about it from otto-side

RCM, you can bring you animals/pets with, but they have to be in quarantine for 7 months. We are planning to take our two dogs instead of our furniture!

GO, GO, GO!

Pippa

[Tim & Abby]

<From Pippa>

RCM, you can bring you animals/pets with, but they have to be in quarantine for 7 months. We are planning to take our two dogs instead of our furniture!

GO, GO, GO!

Pippa

Good on ya, mate! - see, practising the lingo already! We've got FOUR cats coming across. (We HAVE to buy new furniture with four cats )

Abby (& Tim)

[g26130]

One thing I don't miss. K-taxis.

[BeeTee]

One thing I don't miss. K-taxis.

Absolutely. Travelling 140k's each day to and fro from work with these idiots ruining your mood every day...

I don't miss this sort of thing happening around me all the time as well...

Edited July 9, 2006 by BeeTee

[Annie]

What I want to hear from some of you who have made the move (and try be honest now!), is why should I NOT go? I understand that, even though my immagination tries to tell me otherwise, there is no Etopia and that Aus is not perfect. Can you enlighten me so that I can get a balanced view and try make an informed decision?

Much appreciated!

Dear RCM

My wonderfully wise husband always says "You'll find hundreds of excuses not to do something, but you have to focus on the good reasons why you SHOULD!" What is important to you? We have been in Australia for 8 years now and we have never regretted the move. We gained SAFETY AND PEACE OF MIND! We enjoy a simple life here, with lots of time to walk, camp and enjoy the bush. If money and status and "maintaining a lifestyle" is important to you, you should probably not make the move. We have a much lower standard of living now. We have wrecked our careers; lost much "status", friends, family and pets. In return, we feel so wonderfully safe and we are able to walk around our neighbourhood at night, spend time in the bush that we love, live and travel in safety. (It probably helps that we don't have much to steal).

Here where we live, most people have grown up together and have been friends since their school days. This makes it hard to make friends with them. Fortunately, I've found a wonderful friend in the Dutch lady who lives down the road from me. Volunteer work also helped to give me a sense of belonging.

Having experienced both, I can safely say that emigrating is like divorce. If your marriage was really bad, and your ex husband abusive and violent, you will never regret leaving him. If you leave because you think the grass on the other side is greener, you will probably always long for the past.

Good luck with your decision.

[Michelle]

Message removed

Edited July 10, 2006 by Michelle