New, and such a long way to go

[OZBOKKE]

Shew!

I am 38 year old company director and live in beautiful Cape Town (Pinelands). I was born here, studied at UCT and am raising two gorgeous children (my daughter is 5, and my son is 2). I met my wife on a big 5 game reserve where we both worked (we are huge bush babies) and I have watched our friends and associates emigrate one by one and have always viewed them as being too hasty in their decisions to leave. It will get better I told myself, we are a wonderful "Rainbow nation" etc etc. I work in the tourism industry so my job is to tell people how wonderful SA is.

Then in November I left work as it grew dark after a typically long day, and drove up my driveway at home. When I looked in the rearview mirror there were three of them and they were armed. They were pro's, well dressed, well spoken. My wife saw what was happening from the lounge and managed to grab the kids and lock herself and them in the study. I was calm, strangely calm. All I could think of was "what a stupid way to die, in my driveway in front of my wife and children". I nearly said it out loud. It was surreal. I did exactly what I was told and survived physically intact. My car was recovered a few hours later, minus all of its contents naturally. The cops arrived in about 20 minutes and were great. I went for counselling, first with the police counsellor and then to a shrink. It was good to cry and begin the process of getting it out of my system. I had been so calm during the hijack, but I was deeply affected and in shock. I am a 6 foot 4 typical alpha male, and apart from tears when a family member has died (including the pets- I am a sucker for my dogs) I never show emotion.

During my session with the shrink, I noticed her wiping tears from her eyes too. I found it odd, because while I can tell a good yarn I don't generally reduce people to tears. Especially trained psychiatrists who hear this sort of trauma all of the time...When I asked her if she was OK, she said that she had been hijacked recently with her two children in the car, and was dealing with the same trauma. I joked that she should look at Australia, she said she had already applied to Canada and was waiting for her visa. It wasn't funny anymore.

In retrospect there were positives to be gained from the hijacking. The veneer of calm in my little Pinelands suburb has been removed. I no longer think that "it will happen to someone else". I no longer read horrific stories of parents being murdered in front of there children in a detached way (there have been several terrible murders in Pretoria in the last few days). I have a small inkling of what those families are going through now and my heart bleeds for those children whose parents will never tuck them into their beds with a story ever again. As South Africans (of all colours) we have gone into a state of denial. We live in constant fear, yet mentally distance ourselves from the horror around us. Nothing shocks us anymore, and it is only when you stare into the eyes of a killer with a gun, who will terminate your life for a car and a cell phone, do you realise that we are a society that has lost its soul.

I am past the shock now, but it has been replaced with a deep and burning anger. I have worked hard, very hard to get where I am today. I pay my taxes, obey the laws and mean no one any harm. I am university trained (my wife too) and have so much to offer this country. This country no longer has anything to offer me. My children have no future here, I see that now. I understand for the first time why people leave everything and start all over in a foreign country. How dare they call it the "chicken run"! It must be the hardest thing in the world to have to do.

And so here I am in the "foyer" about to commence the long hard slog to getting that PR visa. We will aim for Brisbane, it looks lovely there and we know some saffers who emigrated a year ago to there who are very happy. This forum has already been a font of information to me and everyone here is so supportive and understanding as you are all going through this too, or have already done so. I have a feeling that my wife and I are going to get to know many of you over the next months and years as we take the long road to OZ. Your help and experience will be greatly appreciated.

I look forward to being a part of your forum

Regards

Dale

[Tobold]

Hey Dale,

Alright, so I managed to miss all your posts.

Your post is extremely well put, my friend. Haven't seen you in over 20 years and you're still upstaging me.

Good to see you're here too. With any luck, we'll both be living in Australia (almost) before we know it. It's a long process, but it seems a busy process too, with life to deal with inbetween. If the time goes anywhere near as fast as the last two years have gone by, we should hardly notice it.

Stay strong,

Mark

[OTherapist]

Hi Dale,

Thank you for posting your personal story. I am also struggling to come to terms with the demise of my beautiful Cape Town. We share your anger with being "forced out" of our beloved country. Never has the phrase "cry my beloved country" been more appropriate. You have come to the right place. There are many people starting your journey and you will receive so much support here. Good luck with the process. Once in Aussie, you will be able to start the healing process.