Appraisel comments

[Coyote Ugly]

How do the guys think of these

Come on you guys down under can do better these -- give us the Aussie slant

These are really funny LOL

These quotes were taken from various

hotel performance appraisals:

'Since my last report, this empolyee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.'

'His staff would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity'

'Do not breed from this man.'

'This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be.'

'Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.'

'When she opens her mouth, it is only to change feet.'

'He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle.'

'This young lady has delusions of adequacy.'

'He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.'

'This person is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.'

'This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better.'

'Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing that holds it all together.'

'A gross ignoramus—144 times worse than a normal ignoramus.'

'He certainly takes a long time to make his pointless.'

"He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier.'

'I would like to go hunting with him sometime.'

'He's been working with glue too much.'

'He would argue with a signpost.'

'He has a knack for making strangers immediately.'

'He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves a room.'

'If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one.'

'A prime candidate for natural deselection.'

'Donated his brain to science before he was finished using it.'

'Gates are down, light is flashing, but no train.'

'If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.'

'If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.'

'If you stand close to him you can hear the sea.'

'Its hard to believe that he beat 1,000,000 other sperm.'

'Some drink from the fountain of knowledge—he only gargled.'

'It takes him 1½ hours to watch 60 minutes.'

'The wheel is turning, but the mouse is dead.'

[Andre S]

He, he, very good.

'This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be.'

'Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.'

'When she opens her mouth, it is only to change feet.'

'He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle.'

'This young lady has delusions of adequacy.'

'He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.'

These adequately describe the service I got from a BEE roof truss manufacturer this week. Needless to say we will not be using them again and my specifications will note that that company will not be allowed to supply on future projects.

André S.

[Coyote Ugly]

Hi Andre S

I never thought of that but when you are asked to fill out a service call customer service feed back -- these hit the mark for poor service and discribe your feelings without using four letter abjectives to discribe your frustration

and then you can laugh everytime of the absurd situation and we all become human again it releaves the tension

Cheers

Edited November 23, 2007 by Coyote Ugly

[milo]

Talking about incompetancy in the workplace. Don't get me started.

Allow me to share my frustrations with shop assistants.

A few years ago I had to change our postal address. Today I'm laughing, but that day I wanted to spit through the phone. I phoned the info through followed by a letter. Already this poses a huge problem for the illiterate. I was asked about his initials and full name. "A" I said and was asked to spell his full name. It took me almost 2 min. to get her to spell it correctly! She asked about my details. When I said: "Y". (why?) She answered "because I need it for the records madam"! I again said my initial is 'Y' and she says ....... "but I said I need it for the records madam". Needless to say it was a very long telephone call.

Another time I delt with someone who spoke english and afrikaans in one sentence. Confusion, confusion!!

Was asked for his initials. I spoke in english to her and said 'A' and she writes 'Y'. I said you wrote 'Y' and not 'A'. "But jy't gese 'A' madam?! "No... I said 'A', I replied. 'But ek het 'n 'Y' gemaak' she answered very confused. By then I was not in the mood for being understanding and polite anymore. So I said "luister nou vir my meisie, of jy praat engels of jy praat afrikaans. Maar jy kan nie albei in een sin gebruik nie. Jy is besig albei tale te beledig. Gaan ons nou verder engels of afrikaans met mekaar praat. She responded with 'sorry mevrou, ons kan maar afrikaans praat'!!!

Lekker lag!!!

Milo