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The harsh reality


TamTam

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If there was ever a time I regretted  leaving South Africa it is right now. My mother passed away over the weekend after being ill for two weeks and I was unable to be there due to waiting for a RRV. The pain of losing your parent compounded by the pain of not being there is just too much.

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That's very sad and so soon after arriving in Aus. Last year my father-in-law took a rapid turn for the worse. My wife got on the plane and travelled to his bedside and got to spend 30 minutes with him.

 

It's good that she got to do that, but the cost to us was immense. 

 

Condolences and I am truly sorry for your loss. 

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7 hours ago, ChrisH said:

Sorry to hear @TamTam, I think this is most people on this forums biggest fear.

 

@TamTam.. there are no words to bring you comfort. I am just beyond devastated to hear this has happened. You and your entire family are in my thoughts. *Big hugs*

 

@ChrisH hit the nail on the head. Its my biggest fear for sure! Its hard enough losing a parent (or any loved one).. but we are all in the same boat with this one.. its extra painful for us because we cannot be there for them, we cannot be with our other loved ones to give and receive support. Ai man - this is the ultimate price we pay.  :( 

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On 10/30/2018 at 1:21 AM, TamTam said:

If there was ever a time I regretted  leaving South Africa it is right now. My mother passed away over the weekend after being ill for two weeks and I was unable to be there due to waiting for a RRV. The pain of losing your parent compounded by the pain of not being there is just too much.

My deepest condolences to you and your family @TamTam.  Wishing you strength and love during this very trying time.

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Sorry TamTam, that is a lousy one

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I’m really sorry to hear that TamTam. This is one of the biggest drawbacks, when you feel so far away. Thinking of you and your family.

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Deep condolences, TimTam. Thinking of you and your family.

As my parents and in-laws are aging, this is a huge worry for us xx 

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Sorry about your loss and all the emotional conflict you had to experience.  It sucks. Hang in there and hold on to the reasons you're here.

 

Anyone who says that moving to Australia (or anywhere else in the world)  is taking the easy way out, obviously never had to go through this.  

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  • 2 weeks later...

Despite the very difficult few weeks, and the coming months that will be just as hard I will say there are no regrets moving here. You know in your heart when you've made a good decision. 

 

I've moved countries twice, first to the Netherlands and now here. The first move it just didn't work - the fit was totally wrong. I tried to make it work for 4 years. I've been here just over 4 months and I can already say it's such a fantastic country. Granted I am only speaking from my perspective (living in Brisbane). 

 

Moving is hard; it's really hard. But I am glad to be here.

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I am so very sorry for your loss. 

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  • 4 months later...

I am so very sorry to hear your loss.

 

I know the feeling. Five months after moving to Oz I lost my dad quite suddenly. Trying to get settled and having to grieve was way too much to take. Thankfully we had made quite a few new friends in Oz and their support was what got me through it all. 

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@zamunda yeah its so hard and not being able to be there when she got sick or be there for the funeral is something I'll always regret. My RRV visa only arrived 2 months after she passed away. I was too scared to leave Australia without it in case they wouldn't let me back in or apply for one offshore.

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@TamTam I know how hard it can be.

 

For me, to get through it all, I got involved in a charity in my dad's honour. Every fortnight I volunteer a few hours at the charity. Also, spoke to the local council and planted a tree in memory of dad with a memorial plaque on the tree. Dad loved trees. The council was very helpful. 

 

Time will do a lot of healing. Hold on to the good memories. Don't let the regrets get on top of you.

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