Paranoia

[planningahead]

Hello everyone

 

Like so many others, I have never ever kept a journal before. I've been thinking about creating one and the main reason is paranoia. I need to deal with this paranoia.

 

My partner and I lodged our visa application last week and ever since the lodging I've become so paranoid about a possible visa rejection. I scan websites for hours a day to try and find cases similar to ours. I check the online immi account multiple times a day to check if there's any update on the visa process. I read other blogs such as expats and try and identify trends by looking at myimmitracker. 

 

All of this has taken over my life completely. I hate it. I'm a zombie because I lie awake at night and run through the things I've read online. Visa denial stories are the scariest thing to read. When I wake up in the morning, within an hour I start thinking about the visas again. I can't focus at work as I keep wanting to look up information in order to reassure me that our visas will get granted. When my boss talks to me I get agitated because I just want him to leave me alone so that I can go back to thinking about the visa.

 

It's also been taking a toll on our relationship. We've had a few fights as I get frustrated that I'm managing the entire process. I get frustrated that I have to jump through hoops trying to get evidence to show our de facto relationship. My partner never updated any of his mailing addresses when we moved in together so I only have things like household insurance policies and medical aid dependency evidence to work with. We didn't co-sign a lease. At least we got the property manager to write a letter to confirm that the caretaker at our complex confirmed that we live together. I also have bank account statements detailing how we've made many payments to each other prior to when we moved in together and also consistently after we moved in together. We've got photos throughout our relationship as well and some emails we've sent to each other over the past 2.5 years. I'm not sure if all of this is enough. Logically it seems enough.... but.... the... paranoia.... is... REAL.

 

I've also been obsessing about the medicals and have taken us both to our GP for a general check-up. We went to a radiologist to get x rays in order to make sure we don't have TB. We've done hep b and hep c tests. Full screen syphilis tests. HIV tests. All of this has been done in the name of my paranoia. I cannot wait to finalise the medicals so that I can stop stressing about this.

 

Today I've made the decision not to look at ANY other blog sites (e.g. expatsforum; pomzinoz) anymore. I will only log on here and read the content on here. I don't want to be offensive, but some of those blogs (like expatsforum) are dominated by Indian people who are as paranoid as I am and dishing out advice served up confidently as facts (while some of it is obviously incorrect!). In addition to only using this site, I will from now on also only log on to my immi account ONCE a day to check whether any progress has been made. I will also scan myimmitracker once a day to check for any significant movements/delays.

 

DONE ARE THE DAYS OF ENDLESS OBSESSING.

 

I will now spend my evening at gym. I haven't been to gym in about 2 years and I need to get my body in shape for Ozzie beaches. Gymming will help me stay away from the bloody computer and also help me sleep at night. My goal is now to lose 10 kgs by end of February 2017!  

[Husky]

You are certainly not alone. Whilst I am trying very hard to be the happy, shiny, positive one (believe me, not easy .....), my husband is, as he refers to it, the realist. So he questions everything and finds every potential risk in this process. That's what you get for marrying an engineer 

Think you have the right idea to take your mind off things by doing something more productive. As far as I understand, nothing will change on your immi account until all Medicals, PCCs and documents have been submitted anyway. I sincerely believe that if you follow the visa rules and meet all the requirements, your visa will come through. Hope all goes well.

[CyberJoe]

Hey @planningahead.

 

My sincere sympathy, pretty sure most of us can relate to your feelings right now. Up until the lodge phase of the process, there was a million and one little things to check and check off the to-do list. Once we lodged, all of a sudden it felt like there was nothing to do and it left a unfamiliar void.

 

Two things I want to highlight here:

1. The odds of you failing your application is very slim. From what I read about failed cases (and I read a lot) it was either people who lied on their applications, or claimed points for a skill when the skill assessment was not completed yet. Sure, I am not an immigration agent and cannot provide assurances but most people seem to get their visa after lodging. If there are any stats relating to this it would actually be great, sure it will help many others to also worry less.

2. You actually have so much to do in your situation right now. Finding a healthy way to deal with your stress is definitely part of it since there are many more 'interesting' (read stressful) times to come during the move process. Hitting the gym is certainly a good way to improve your feelings. I have taken up jogging and can honestly say, I am running my best times ever. Also really focus on your relationship, remember, you both are going through this process. We all just handle it differently but my stress levels definitely affected my partner as well.

 

All the best, I really hope you feel better soon!

 

PS: Be kind to your boss, you might need the reference

 

 

[RedPanda]

Kudos on getting exercise! Don't overdo it and injure yourself.  

I like that you have recognised your unhealthy obsession and are doing something about it, with that attitude you should do fine. I know it's stressful once the application is in and the money has been paid, but I agree with the info given above: getting an invite to apply is basically a conditional visa grant, with the conditions being that you prove what you claimed. If you didn't lie, are not sick(umbrella term, I know...), and did not get something completely wrong (like getting the wrong code on your skills assessment for what you applied with) then you actually already have a visa, they just need to rubber stamp it.

Sterkte met die wagtyd, en vasbyt! Draf dit uit... (of spin, of wat ook al jy doen om te sweet   )

[planningahead]

Thank you for the encouragement everyone! This week has gone much better! I logged on to my immi account twice the entire week which is really good considering I was so obsessed with it before my previous post. I've also only checked myimmitracker.com twice this week and I haven't felt the need to even look at it more than that. I have been visiting this forum daily but it wasn't to obsess about the visa. I've now changed my mindset and I'm determined (well at least pretending) that we will get our visas... With that in mind I've been using this website to read up on everyone's experiences after their grants came through and also reading up on some settling in stories...

 

Another good think which happened this week is that our PCCs were finalised in 4 working days! I've never heard of it being processes so quickly so I was pleasantly surprised. Our agent is going to pick of the PCCs on Thursday and then upload it. I've also confirmed our medical now for 4 January 2017 as my partner and I won't be able to take time off at the same time in December to go for the medicals.

 

@CyberJoe, I agree with your assessment as to why visas get denied. The two common reasons I've seen seems to be lying about information/falsifying information and also over claiming points. I haven't lied about any information and I also made sure the agent did not over claim any points. Referring to these facts have lead me to have quite a peaceful week comparing to the paranoia of the week before.

 

@redpanda, thank you for the encouragement! I've read so many of your posts and your experience has validated my motivations of moving to Oz in the first place....