Jump to content

So we've landed!


BrendanH

Recommended Posts

I think it's just because we don't "know it's ok". We moved to an estate outside the city two years ago, and suddenly there were spiders in the house, and the lawn spiders can be counted per iPad-size patch of lawn, and I was scared of spiders. So I got a book on South African spiders, and found out that only three spiders in RSA are actually medically significant: button spiders, violin spiders, white sac spiders. All the rest are fine. So now I leave them. I even chased out the rain spiders(they are like huntsman spiders, huge) from our room when we were in the Cape recently.

So I am definitely going to be investing in an Australian spider book when we land. (The internet is so full of sensationalist stories and fear mongering, and one is never quite sure if the sources are decent. After all, authors can just change the content on a web page if they are wrong, books are a bit more...binding..? Hehehe...)

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Redbacks and Whitetails, do not, whatever you do, ever try to make friends with them, I am referring to the spider species, of course. When you are out in public, never put your hands under a bench or chair, those are places they quite like to hide!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hubby found 7 or 8 Redbacks in our garden a couple of weeks ago - apparently this season has been an infestation. Better than last year which was european wasps :o. Australia - kill it before it kills you....

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've read that the whitetails have an undeserved bad rep, and that in a study 130 whitetail bites did not result in a single ulcer or any necrotising. But the redbacks are like our black button spiders, part of the blackwidow family...not fun if they bite you. But regardless of how the bite is described, do not touch, and keep out of your house. ;) (Just, if the bite isn't that bad, you don't have to be that scared of them.)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Bug bombs. Every three months. Without fail.

 

i have no objection to spiders outside, but inside is my domain!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So things have been going well. I've spent three weeks in the new job. Getting used to the way things are done here is proving a bit difficult. I am learning that people here don't do direct conflict but choose instead to be a bit passive aggressive with their conflict. It is definitely going to take some getting used to as someone who is used to putting things out in the open.

 

Last night we went to Enlighten which is a weird festival of lights, interesting and random attractions (The trapeze artists on the mobile scaffolding being peddled around by foot was probably a highlight. ). The stage with the live bands was also really cool. The Night Noodle Market was great as well. I love that there is usually some free and interesting festival going on every weekend here and it all feels safe (We tend to leave a bit earlier before the crowd has too much opportunity to get sloshed and rowdy.).

 

 

Edited by BrendanH
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

12 hours ago, BrendanH said:

Getting used to the way things are done here is proving a bit difficult. I am learning that people here don't do direct conflict but choose instead to be a bit passive aggressive with their conflict. It is definitely going to take some getting used to as someone who is used to putting things out in the open.

 

 

This is why Aussies sometimes say that Saffas are pushy and aggressive.  Just different strokes for different folks but worth knowing.  I aliken it to the Asian (Chinese / Japanese etc) way of being where it is important to allow the person to save face.  It's been really helpful to me in the workplace.  At first it felt like I was being a bit backward in coming forward but now I can see that allowing them to save face gets them on side a lot quicker.  Just so different to what we grew up with though hey.

 

Lovely to hear your reports on getting out and about and seeing what community events are on the go.

 

 

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

It's exactly two months since we got on a A340 from Cape Town to Johannesburg to start this crazy ride. I'm settled in a job and life seems pretty normal and routine.

 

I must say that after the adrenaline and stress and facing the great big scary unknown after the last four or five months I'm feeling the Let Down a bit. I miss the me (us.) vs. The Great Unknown that this ride has been so far. Things seem so Every Day and normal now.

 

 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

LOL. :) I'd love to get to that point. Were 4 weeks in more or less and still finding our feet.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

8 minutes ago, Mel-B said:

LOL. :) I'd love to get to that point. Were 4 weeks in more or less and still finding our feet.

 

Lol. Four weeks in and we were riding a whirlwind. 

 

Are things going ok though?

 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, BrendanH said:

It's exactly two months since we got on a A340 from Cape Town to Johannesburg to start this crazy ride. I'm settled in a job and life seems pretty normal and routine.

 

I must say that after the adrenaline and stress and facing the great big scary unknown after the last four or five months I'm feeling the Let Down a bit. I miss the me (us.) vs. The Great Unknown that this ride has been so far. Things seem so Every Day and normal now.

 

 

 

Quite a few migrants over the years have said that they miss the "buzz" of RSA and that Australia is "boring".  Maybe what you are experiencing (and can perhaps name) is more likely?  I sometimes think that our brains get addicted to the adrenalin levels required to live in RSA.

 

We have noticed over the years that even the flies and the birds fly and react slower here than in RSA.  Last week I caught a fly with my hand.  Never managed it in RSA.

 

Glad to hear you are all settled now - looking back it went really quickly for you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 minutes ago, RYLC said:

 

Quite a few migrants over the years have said that they miss the "buzz" of RSA and that Australia is "boring".  Maybe what you are experiencing (and can perhaps name) is more likely?  I sometimes think that our brains get addicted to the adrenalin levels required to live in RSA.

 

Glad to hear you are all settled now - looking back it went really quickly for you.

 

I definitely don't miss the hyper-aware paranoia of South Africa and I haven't found Australia boring at all - there is so much to do in Canberra. It is definitely the adventure into the unknown and having to have the laser focus to achieve the challenging goal of Making It in a new country that I am missing.

 

Not that I'm not complaining. This is good too. :)

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

We loved our visit to Canberra a few years ago now.  There is always so much going on and I love the tulip display (Floriade?) later in the year (October I think).

 

If your child is into science then you'll be able to make use of a season pass to the science museum too.  So much to see and do and boy the freedom to do it tastes good :D

 

It's good to read your posts about getting out and about and I think it's important to keep posting after the great "trek and trane".  There is a lot of effort to get that visa with lots of questions to ask and then we move onto the settled life and what it's like.  We have Matt in Sydney posting about every day life.  Maybe you can be the forum's "man in Canberra"?

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If you want to hear about cool events : In the last two weeks we have had Enlighten - complete with Mad Maxesque giant mobile scaffold with the gorgeous half naked female trapeze artists being pedalled by some equally half naked bronzed male Adonises (Plus giant, illuminated bunnies.). The Asian Noodle Market. The Hot Air Balloon Festival, and this weekend was the Skyfire Festival where we stood on the bridge to watch a cool F18 aerobatic display (One of my favourite aircraft.) after which we saw an incredible fireworks display.

 

I have also always wanted a fishing kayak so I have treated myself to one and have been making the most of all the urban lakes around here...

 

I can't emphasize how much I am enjoying our little city.

 

Also, the cockatoos and parrots are awesome. The Sulphur Crested Cockatoos in particular have so much personality. Last week I saw one do a random barrel roll for sh1ts and giggles.

 

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

40 minutes ago, BrendanH said:

 

Lol. Four weeks in and we were riding a whirlwind. 

 

Are things going ok though?

 

 

 

Ya, it was tough (understatement), and husband is still job searching, but we are enjoying Melbourne. Kids are settling down, and we like our suburb and our rental and I am loving the automatic car :) I can find stuff at Coles much faster than the first few attempts at grocery shopping, and can drop my kid off at school without a GPS. LIFE IS GOOD. :P The low was feeling OK, and sort of roboting through it. Then at school my daughters teacher asked "so how are things?" And I BURST into tears. It was sad. Really, she looked revolted and said GET YOURSELF TOGETHER. :huh: Ouch. So I felt like an idiot for about the 600th time that day and went home and cried for about 4 hours. Then I felt better.  :rolleyes:

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

5 minutes ago, Mel-B said:

Ya, it was tough (understatement), and husband is still job searching, but we are enjoying Melbourne. Kids are settling down, and we like our suburb and our rental and I am loving the automatic car :) I can find stuff at Coles much faster than the first few attempts at grocery shopping, and can drop my kid off at school without a GPS. LIFE IS GOOD. :P The low was feeling OK, and sort of roboting through it. Then at school my daughters teacher asked "so how are things?" And I BURST into tears. It was sad. Really, she looked revolted and said GET YOURSELF TOGETHER. :huh: Ouch. So I felt like an idiot for about the 600th time that day and went home and cried for about 4 hours. Then I felt better.  :rolleyes:

 

:(

 

My wife reminded me that after being dragged to 7 different schools in 3 different provinces I am probably better equipped than most to deal with massive change like this which is probably true.

 

Despite that I also really struggled at times. What really helped was we have run across a lot of immigrants from different backgrounds and cultures who have been really supportive while native Aussies' reactions have ranged between admiration for having the balls/vulva to start from scratch to bemusement at the things they take for granted that are a Big Deal to us. (At the time taking the free second hand badged school bag vs. buying one for $60.00 at the school store seemed like a serious life defining decision...)

 

Good luck and pop a PM if you ever want a chat :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Mel-B, I would hope that the teacher just didn't know how to handle the situation. Having burst into tears in the most random places I am sending you an enormous hug for the next time you feel overwhelmed. It is completely normal and has probably happened to more of us than not.

 

it is an emotional roller coaster and the silliest things can send us crashing down or soaring up. You've made some massive wins so hopefully you will continue to soar. But if you crash, do allow yourself to take some time to rub your bruises before you pick yourself up and carry on flying.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Mel-G, that a teacher would say something like that to you is really unacceptable.  How dare she ask a question and not be ready for a response.  We have the concept of "r U OK" in Australia, which has a national day but the emphasis is on being aware of how people are feeling on a daily basis and being ready for someone who is not OK when the question is asked.  A teacher should always be ready for someone not being OK, what would her response be to a child that is being bullied? Tell them to suck it up princess?  When you are feeling stronger you should raise this with her or the principal and let them know that that response was not OK.

 

I remember moving into one of our myriad of houses in Australia, which was much smaller than what I was used to (we had bought and our budget couldn't quite buy what we had as a rental) and I was having to cull clothes, furniture and stuff (yet again) - I then went to pick up my son from a playdate and the mother asked me how the move was going and I burst into tears.  She also had a slightly horrified look on her face.  Obviously the correct answer was that everything was great and I was so excited to be moving into a new home.  Must say that our relationship never really improved after that, even though I grew to love my smaller home.

 

Unfortunately tears are a part of this process.  Hopefully you will have something to celebrate soon.

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

So somewhere up in the thread I mentioned that I'd post the good and the bad. Well, the bad was a reminder that even sleepy Canberra has its social ills. We were up in the North of Canberra and my son and I were taking a night walk around Yerrabi Pond while waiting to pick the missus up from a friend's house when my son witnessed his first drug deal at the playground there.

 

It's probably a small consolation but I definitely didn't feel quite as in fear for my life as if hit had been a bunch of Cape Flats gangsters had been involved. My South African spidey sense did engage when they very quickly walked off in different directions after we startled them and we walked back to our car. Can't say I missed that hyper-aware state much.

 

So yeah, probably, if you live in the area avoid that spot later on at night, especially on a Saturday night.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 month later...

Unlike! We see some dodgy people on and off. Not often, but yes the spidey senses are good to have - I'm sure all South Africans have that skill. I was wondering whether you could tell if someone was up to no good here, being with new cultures and so, and I think you can. We had some dodgy youths knocking on our door trying to sell us paintings at 8:00 at night. They were trying to peek in our house.... really need to work on their skills - was obvious. So husband chased them away. Didn't feel threatened, just irritated.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So a month on and lots of stuff has been happening. 

 

The missus has got a good job that has school hours so she gets to spend time with crotchfruit so that is a win/win.

 

Unfortunately I just haven't been happy in my new job for a number of reasons. After much soul searching I decided that I just didn't move my life to the other side of the planet to be unhappy. Fortunately an opportunity to pick up my career exactly where it left off in South Africa presented itself to me and I grabbed it.

 

Today was the last day at my first job in Australia and in two weeks I start a new lead developer position.

 

So for the next two weeks I get to take the first break I have had in a stupidly stressful 18 months. The plan is to do as much fishing on the kayak as possible and to spend some quality after school time with the family.

 

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Congratulations to you and your wife on the great new jobs and enjoy your mini holiday.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sounds like sensible choices to me. Always helps if at least one person has a decent job, it gives the other person options if needed.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Glad you have been able to move onto a new job. Hope your mini holiday is the stress release you need

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...