One month in

[Mammoth]

Hi everyone

We have been here for just over a month now and things are going ok. Not entirely according to plan but ok.

The hardest part of this whole process for me was the last two months in South Africa. Finalising everything at work, deciding what to bring and worse of all the PACKING!!! I scrubbed all my shoes for hours, afraid that they might confiscate them at customs.

It was also difficult because I missed my husband a lot. In the last month we stayed with family, the first fews days with mine then with his but in the last two weeks we each spent time with our families separately. His family lives in George and mine in Johannesburg. I’m a bit of a ninny, I don’t sleep well if he is not there.

The last week was very tough. I had to go see all my friends and extended family to say good bye. It worked out to around 2 tea parties and 2 lunches! So the whole week was filled with lots of emotions. The strangest things was that I did not feel as sad as I thought I would. Even on the last day when I said good bye to my close family. I cried and it was very hard but not as difficult as I thought it would be.

We drove ourselves to the airport and by the time we got there my tears had dried up and I was extremely excited about leaving. We decided to rejoice and share a bottle of bubbly once we where though customs. We wanted to celebrate the fact that we where fortunate enough to get visas and congratulate ourself on our excellent choice. Focussing and celebrating the positive seemed like a great idea!

Well, maybe I should have celebrated my excellent life choice with just one glass. Arriving rather dehydrated at Sydney about 12 hours later it finally hit me. I had just left my country and my family! So standing in line at customs I wanted to breakdown and cry. Unfortunately I was also extremely scared that we would be turned away when we get to the front. Why I don’t know but it is one of those things that I was really scared off. Needless to say when you stand in customs looking like you might burst into tears the one moment only to look completely terrified the next, people regard you as suspicious. Both myself and my bag got searched for explosives!

I had read as much as I could about what to do when you arrived and was completely confident that we would get through the first couple of weeks without incident. Well, turns out we are not the most effective immigrants to ever arrive in Melbourne.

Our productivity started to slide down hill right from the beginning. On the first day we were so Jet Lagged that we did not get to any of the things on my list! This was followed by our rather poor start to searching for an apartment. On the Thursday evening we started looking for apartments to view the Saturday. It was actually going great until at 9 pm, when we realised it was not Thursday but in fact Friday! With the flight and being jet lagged we completely lost track of a day!

The Saturday morning whilst trying to power walk from a viewing in Port Melbourne to the next one in St Kilda it dawn on us that maybe, just maybe, my timetable was a bit optimistic. Sitting on a park bench having missed the next viewing, we decided to rather focus on sustainability instead of efficiency.

We slowed down our pace to one that was achievable and every now and then just took a day off. Finding a flat, getting all the admin done and buying pots and pans whilst trying to deal with all the emotions that accompany immigrating can be rough. So when things got a bit too much we took some time out. My one friend always said: “For just one day the world can take care of itself”.

Everything got done in the end, it just took a bit longer than expected. We are now living in our new apartment, have enough furniture and other items to get by with and about 85% of the admin is done. The best part it that by slowing down our pace we got to enjoy the experience of moving into a new city.

When I got cold and tired I kept on reminding myself that I only get to experience this once. You only get to see something for the first time once, so don’t miss it!

Like clock work the day after our flat become “liveable” I got sick. I expected this to happen though. After the winter exams I always used to get sick to moment I got home. So now I’m staying in bed trying to get better and building up some strength for the next adventure: finding work.

If I had to give advise to anybody immigrating it will only be these two things:

Read the weather report.

Yes, I am the idiot that immigrated to another country without checking the weather forecast! It is a little bit colder than I thought it would be.

2. Be kind to yourself and everybody immigrating with you.

It is not a race, take your time and make sure you get the finish line in one piece. Do things at a pace that is suitable for you, there is no right or wrong.

So, that my two cents of immigration and settling in.

[Mara]

Mammoth, so sorry to hear you are not well, I do hope you feel better soon

[Sibella]

Mammoth these things take time, don't rush. And if it makes you feel any better my daughter got chicken pox just after we arrived . Viewing houses and hanging out at car dealerships go really interesting when that happened.

We also arrived mid winter and you might not think it now but it's the best time to come because things can only get better!!

[SML]

Thanks for posting! I hope you get better really quickly!

[Sunnyskies]

Welcome to my old hometown of Melbourne. Yes, it is a tough time to arrive in the midst of winter. Make sure you buy some nice boots that are easy to walk in and won't mind if they get rained on.

My mother always taught me warm feet and back and you will be warm. As a result I have lots of boots, waistcoat type jumpers/puffer jackets and warm pashmina scarves from my 6 years in Melbourne and I was very seldom cold.

[Kimmykins]

Hey Mammoth,

You will go far, you will achieve and you will succeeded. Why? Cause you have the right attitude. Well done. You have done a sterling task so far. Welcome to the rest of your wonderful life.

[EmNew]

Thanks for sharing, Mammoth! I love the advice from your friend.......as well as your own advice for others:

My one friend always said: “For just one day the world can take care of itself”.

If I had to give advise to anybody immigrating it will only be these two things:

Read the weather report.

Yes, I am the idiot that immigrated to another country without checking the weather forecast! It is a little bit colder than I thought it would be.

2. Be kind to yourself and everybody immigrating with you.

It is not a race, take your time and make sure you get the finish line in one piece. Do things at a pace that is suitable for you, there is no right or wrong.

We'll be joining you in Melbourne in September. I know that we will need a huge mental adjustment - both of us are control freaks, and that aspect of having a to-do list and needing to stick to it come hell or high water is how we normally operate. Going to just have to let go a little .........

[AndreR]

Those trials and tribulations are like a badge of honour. I recall almost two years ago whinging on this forum about having to walk 10 k's from house to house looking for rentals, having to grovel with agents. Then whinging about looking for work and the "Aussie Experience" excuse etc etc. I remember having a week to go until my paycheck and I had $20 in my account, having to sell my bicycles on eBay to make it through the month so I could feed my family and afford bus fare.

At the time it was end of the world stuff. But we persevered. I eventually got that rental, spent 8 months in a crappy job and then moved onto the job of my dreams. My wife is working, the kids are happy and slowly but surely i'm starting to have some first world problems. I am perplexed right now because I can't decide if my next car should be an automatic or manual, and i'm also not sure if going with android was the right decision.

Anyway, time has a way of fixing things, just plug away, one small step at a time.

[miran]

AndreR: I was telling my mom about an hour ago that there's only one thing to complain about......the TV ads! So great that most things worked out for you! I guess that is the most important thing: Perseverance!!!

[Mammoth]

Thanks for all your wonderful and supportive replies!

[RedPanda]

@EmNew, I think you'll do just fine with a list, if that's how you work it'll probably be comforting and familiar. Just look at your list before you go and every few days add in a day (on the list, so it's official) that you don't plan anything. Then you can use that time to catch up on either things to do, or on energy spent. And because it's on the list, you won't feel bad about it. Also, consider it adequate if the list says: "Convert your license" and you try, but all you get is an appointment for another day. It still means you did what you could.

Hehehe...yes we are also list people, that listen to family...and have learnt ways to circumvent the restrictive part of that tendency. It helps.

[SurferMan]

Haha AndreR,

Shows you are a survivor matey!!! Well done.

[Shellfish]

also not sure if going with android was the right decision.

It was....

[CaitLay]

Shellfish, your comments, experiences and feelings mirror my own almost exactly! Have also been in Melbourne for almost a month and has the same frustrations, highs and lows that you did. Last two weeks in SA were extremely draining. We also felt an overwhelming sense of dread and homesickness as soon as we got off the plane and through customs. Looking for rentals has been tough and we have also felt frustrated at not getting through our lists faster. But I keep telling myself that what we have all done, takes guts and you need to look back to see how far you have come. Well done! Hope you feel better soon.

Sorry my post was meant to be directed at Mammoth. Sorry Shellfish!

Sorry my post was meant to be directed at Mammoth. Sorry Shellfish!

[CGP]

Hi Mammoth

Well done on arriving and surviving the first month. You are not alone in being surprised by how cold Melbourne is. I read the weather reports, studied charts of minimums and maximums and was still surprised. Something in my head just said "Australia = Hot".

The second winter won't feel as cold and the 3rd will feel normal. That's where I am now.

Congrats on getting an apartment - that's a lot of stress off - or it was for me in any case.

Good luck in settling in - it has it's challenges, but time is a great healer.

Homesickness was terrible. My only advice is to keep yourself busy and don't get into a habit of talking about the things that you miss. Maybe that's terrible advice, but being male, the head-in-the-sand approach worked for me. I found it was easy to resort to negative conversations with my wife (eg, about how much winter sucked, how much you missed people etc) and it lead to being negative. I found the worst time was on the daily commute to work where I had too much time to feel sorry for myself. I cut out that time and my attitude improved almost immediately. I think that it took me about 6 months to get where you are now, so you are doing great. (I posted something on 6 months in Melbourne - not sure if it is still on the forum)

[OzzieWishes]

I have a 2nd complaint....the shopping trolleys!!!!

[Magenta]

On the very short list of things I do not like in Oz, trolleys are close to the top!!! I really struggle to control them, especially when full, in a crappy car park and having to push it uphill!! And then people jump out in front of me .... If they only knew that I have very little control of those things!!!

[Shellfish]

I see Target is now using plastic trolleys - much better and easier to push although they won't last as long.

[RedPanda]

They can probably be recycled?

[Mara]

Déjà vu, the shopping trolley complaint has been around forever, perhaps some lovely South African will start manufacturing new ones, then we can all enjoy our shopping trips!

[MomOfTwo]

Mammoth these things take time, don't rush. And if it makes you feel any better my daughter got chicken pox just after we arrived . Viewing houses and hanging out at car dealerships go really interesting when that happened.

We also arrived mid winter and you might not think it now but it's the best time to come because things can only get better!!

I love it....things can only get better lol. We arrived in Canada in Aug and in Nov the winter set in and by Dec we were snowed under but after a few months around April the sun came out and what a beautiful summer .....it worked out perfect so I agree better to come in the winter, do all the crappy things like look for housing etc and then by the time u are settled in, summer is on its way and u can spend your time having fun, not setting up.....BUT that is just my two cents. Because in winter people hibernate (not sure there but here) and u see no one and u feel bloody alone but at least i got to do all my shopping for the house and setting up done. Good luck. We have moved to two different countries and both times were hard but we got through it and when you are settled and you can breath , and read News 24, you can sit back and smile and say : It all worked out. Im hoping our last move will be the one to Australia. I need my sunshine and sandy beaches.....and people that can laugh at my silly jokes. Good luck and just keep your eye on the end goal of settling in and feeling at home....IT WILL COME!

Welcome to my old hometown of Melbourne. Yes, it is a tough time to arrive in the midst of winter. Make sure you buy some nice boots that are easy to walk in and won't mind if they get rained on.

My mother always taught me warm feet and back and you will be warm. As a result I have lots of boots, waistcoat type jumpers/puffer jackets and warm pashmina scarves from my 6 years in Melbourne and I was very seldom cold.

Good to know, I will keep my winter clothes from Canada and bring them with!!!! I honestly didn't realize it gets that cold. Then again i am putting my head in the sand as I just want to move there without knowing to much for in case something scares me off and I decide not to make the BIG MOVE.... as i mentioned it will be our 3 rd move (due to work 2 moves but 3rd move is our choice) and I am just putting all my hope and trust into this praying to God this is the right and last move....BUT i have to say from all the post in the forum it just FEELS like the right move. Through and Through. Canada never felt right and I guess my gut feeling was right.

[ottg]

Déjà vu, the shopping trolley complaint has been around forever, perhaps some lovely South African will start manufacturing new ones, then we can all enjoy our shopping trips!

On the upside - it took me sometime to figure it out. While it's a pain to push around the safety aspect clutch in when you go down the roller stairs. The wheels all magically find there way into the escalator grooves, the trolley stays put and doesnt run away. As we all know by now its all about safety here - you cannot even operate a broom without certification.