Apparently it is now!

[RichardH]

Fantastic! Congratulations. What a Christmas pressie. 

 

[Eyebrow]

Thank you all so much.

As I have said before, this forum has carried me through many a dark night in limbo. And our limbo period seemed especially long...

 

I am so grateful that my kids, especially my little boy will be safe and ok and have a future. They have grown so much since we have been here. In confidence especially. It is amazing what an equal safe environment does to kids. No more teaching them "how to survive a hi-jack." As I distinctly remembered doing a few years ago in RSA. My eldest is looking at the airforce, my middle boy is being vocationally training supported and my youngest girl who has now been in Aus longer than she had been in RSA, can play carefree and not worry about being attacked.

 

We travel in Aus and it is a beautiful country! We never had the resources to do that in RSA.

 

For me to have job security is amazing. I am judged on what I can do professionally only. If I do more than required, I get rewarded. I now have peace that if I get injured and cant work(like almost happened before with my back injury) , we wont be deported.

 

The people at work have been amazing. They (as Aussies) have not realized the struggle one has to get PR. When I told everyone yesterday, they were so excited, but they have also been having a go at me!  Someone came looking for me in my office, and I had just stepped out, and when I came back, they said (tongue in cheek) "Oh, you are still here. I thought you had gone to Centrelink to register... "  And we were going to a restaurant for Christmas work lunch, and I said I didnt know where the place was, and some one piped up and said "You should know now that you are PR, it is in the same block as the Centrelink building". so the whole day everytime I walked away from my office to the copier, or to take documents somewhere, someone would shout "Off to Centrelink, are we?" It has been non-stop! It has come to the pojnt now, that when I get up, I put my hands up and say: "Calm down mates, just on my way to Centrelink.."

Someone also made like 50 copies of Advance Australia Fair and stuck them all over my office. On the computer and phone and everywhere! Looked like the room had been paper bombed!

One person laughingly said I had to have it memorized by the end of the day, and someone else laughed and said I needed to ask the lady who said that ,to sing the second verse herself, without the paper. And then she mimicked someone mumbling and said no Aussie knows the second verse either!

 

I miss family, so much so that I cant think about it for long, then I have to seriously distract myself not to get depressed. And I miss the smells and sounds of RSA. It doesnt smell the same here after the rain... I miss the future I had imagined as  a young person. I miss that my younger kids cant speak Afrikaans anymore.

 

But things change. And one's ability to adapt is everything.

 

It still hasnt sunk in. We have fought for so long, that now there is just a weird gap, where the worry was before. (Does that even make sense?  )

 

The kids look at us like we are crazy and maybe we are. Last night we were saying: Oh look, our first braai on PR. Kids you are having your first dessert on PR. Go and have your first bath on PR. Trying to make it real in our minds.

 

We are no longer on the outside looking in. We are in the candy shop, buying stuff!

 

Merry Christmas everybody!

 

[Husky]

Ah. How wonderful. Your journey has been a particularly tough one and you deserve things to fall into place with ease. Merry Christmas and happy PR!

[OnYellowBrickRd]

Loveliest post from you yet.  Lump in my throat.  Still tickled pink for you, my friend!

[March2]

Wow congrats @Eyebrow.  What a journey!  I have been following your story since I became a member of the forum and I drew so much of hope that encouragement from your posts.  You are one strong woman and if anyone deserves an award for resilience, patience, courage and determination, it’s YOU!

I am so happy and excited for you and your family.  All the very best for your future as Permanent Residents.  Next up...citizenship!  Now here’s something to fill that void you’re feeling now that you have PR!

Am sure this festive season is going to be your best one yet!  All the best. Have a blast, you deserve it.

[Chips]

Congratulations @Eyebrow well deserved grant. Happy PR to you and your beautiful family.

[Bonny]

Oh my gosh @Eyebrow, I haven’t logged on for a few days and now....THIS!! Honestly I think your story has been one of the toughest - if not the toughest - on here, and I am thrilled for you and your family. It will sink in, and bring you a new level of peace.

🤗🤗🤗

[Mara]

EYEBROW!!!!!!!!! You got it at long last. Hallelujah!!!

 

I have been logging on to the site, and the first thing I do is check this email... and imagine my surprise today to see that you have got it, as last!

 

Once again Eyebrow, I give you and hubby our sincere congratulations, for making it for six years!!!

 

Now it is off to Centrelink and to sing Australia Fair, all the verses.

 

Lots of love to you all, Mara

[Pell]

Congratulations! Super happy for you and family! If anyone deserved this, it was you! 

 

[SML]

Congratulations!!! I'm so happy for you & your family! 

[Eyebrow]

Today I am feeling a bit frustrated...

 

In all the excitement I let things slide for a while. Now that we have right to return again (did not have it for the longest time with the bridging visa), we are wondering if we should go back to RSA to visit family. My brothers child was born shortly after we left and is almost 5 now! Never been seen by us.

So in this process of "wondering" I realized my RSA passport had expired.

So I go to the link below and print it out. Highlight all the documents. Go through the process of getting fingerprints. (I am getting so good at it now I just walk in, and almost tell the police officer to step back and roll my fingers over the ink and paper like a pro. And I can see the suspicion in the police guy's face... He looks at me like he is wondering whether he should check for my photo on interpol! I always have to explain how everything in RSA requires fingerprints and that I have been doing it since the age of 16 and that , no, I am not a career criminal.)

https://www.sahc.org.au/passports.htm

 

Anyway, today I get a letter from Canberra. My application is incomplete!

They want my marriage and divorce certificate (was briefly married 20y ago) and copy of proof of retention of RSA citizenship AND a letter of me requesting which surname I want my passport in. None of these documents were needed according to their website. Yet now they MUST have them.

Really? I would think if you apply for renewal of a passport, they would renew it in the name that was there before?! And coincidentally the name that is on all the supporting documents ? What is up with this "choose your surname" bit? Shouldn't they give you they name you had before (if you had not changed it by deed poll)? Is that not logical? Imagine having a different name on the passport compared with the name on my Australian visa. How will I explain that?

I showed this letter asking me to request my name to an Australian friend and they were shocked.

My marriage and divorce has been lodged many times before. Do they still not have the records of that? And home affairs were the ones who issued the proof of retention of citizenship paper as well, do they not have record of that either?

Weird.

 

Is this happening to other people too?

 

Glad to be here.

[Eyebrow]

Hallo

 

Guess what? (You never will!)

 

It took me a week but I got the documents together and certified and my letter etc. I scanned it into pdf as requested and emailed it and guess what...

 

My email was returned as “permanently undeliverable”.

 Reason: 554 Policy violation. 

 

My email (as requested by consulate in Canberra ) is undeliverable due to it being marked as “spam”.

 

So I am spamming them with the email they requested me to send! If this is the case, they are probably wondering why no one ever returns their emails! Because that is what I did. Clicked on “reply” and added the attachment. And voila, spam. 

 

I give up!

 

 

[rozellem]

 

Just saw you got PR. Fantastic news. For a number of years I sang in a choir in Sydney. For two years in a row we were asked to sing at a council Australian day celebration in front of thousands. I had to learn the national anthem and this ∆ song above. I was a blubbering mess each time. People thought I had lost the plot. The words in the one above especially gets me. Congrats. X

[RYLC]

1 hour ago, rozellem said:

The words in the one above especially gets me.

 

I love it too. If there was ever a vote to change the national anthem, this would get my vote. It feels so inclusive. There’s even a verse in an aboriginal language. 

[RedPanda]

Yip-frikken-yay-hoerraaah!!! 

 

I just caught up with your post today! Congratualtions, and best wishes. I think by now it's all been said before, but jeepers you deserve it! 

Wonderful news!

[RYLC]

On 12/19/2018 at 9:54 PM, Eyebrow said:

 

And so, after 6 years, we have our visa.

 

 

Its been just over six months now and I wondered how you were all going?

[Eyebrow]

Hi All

 

I have not been on the site much. These days FB seems to be more where people are... But this site was where it all started for me. And where I got most of my support. And I met some people off this site and they have become friends.

 

Coming back is like therapy really. I read my posts from almost 7 years ago. And I weep for the naïve person I was. And if I had known the mountain that I would have to climb, I would have been petrified. But I still would have done it.

 

I came back today because we are on the eve of applying for citizenship! Wow. It seemed so impossible when I started. But I took advice and did what had to be done. It was hard and seemed insurmountable, but I got where I wanted to be. And I kept quiet when it was best to do so. I saw people posting here (and on FB) in a similar boat as me, who went in guns blazing and didn't get their PR.

 

Similar things has happened to us as to so many of us immigrants. My mom got sick with breast cancer and we were here. She resented that I wasn't there, but what could I do? My siblings in RSA went to her side and they resented me not being there, and leaving the stress and worry to them. But I couldn't be there. I resented myself for dropping the ball on my mom. But what could I do? My extended family will eventually die there and I get PTSD at the thought of going back. Selfish. My mom ask for my kids, but I cant bear to take them back. What a horrible person am I?

 

At the same time I am over my honeymoon with Australia. Don't get me wrong, I am grateful to be here. But Aus has some issues.

 

It is expensive. and although we are better off than in RSA, it really becomes more of an issue to retire here if you started late with nothing. I sometimes feel as if everyone wants a piece of you. Bills and insurances and rego and services and dental and and and… There is very little left at the end of the day. And I feel our lack of Super acutely.

I have always believed in supporting other South Africans. When I can I go to a South African business, migration expert or healthcare provider. But have found myself the victim of them. Trying to do me in. Why? Quoting one amount and "accidentally" charging more. Taking money and not doing the job. This has really upset me. We are all in the same boat (or so I thought). Why not help each other? Why try and cheat on fellow South Africans? I now try and work exclusively with Aussies.

My kids are respectful, brought up with discipline. But the Aussie kids walk over them and bully them. The kids here are sometimes just terrible. And my kids get taught about gender fluidity etc which is just beyond comprehension. With numerous kids in their schools "transitioning".

 

The longer I am here, the more I miss South Africa. I think of places and food and familiar things. And I miss it with a deep ache. I spend time online to remind myself of the horrifying things happening there and I am grateful for being here. But it doesn't seem to get rid of the deep ache I feel. Things here are getting more familiar but I sometimes randomly find myself standing in Coles and I just have a moment where nothing seems real, and I briefly feel almost suspended in an alternative reality. ( I don't know if you will understand what I mean) 

 

It has almost been 14months since I broke my spine on a day trip boat out to one of the islands on the QLD coast. I have not been without pain in all that time. So much medication and rehab. And still pain. It makes my work hard. And chronic pain is so draining. I have not done anything with the kids outside the house since then and all is a struggle. There are good days and bad days. But unrelenting aching.

I compensated by getting them pets. Dog and cat. The cat cant go outside because the pythons eat them so it is litter box cleaning every day. And the dog is like a baby really, up at 5 am and barks and barks. We got a shock collar, but it barks through it. When the adrenalin pumps it doesn't seem to feel it. The neighbours complain. If anyone has an idea how to make it stop I would be grateful. It would break my boy's heart if we had to let the dog go.

And I have also discovered how difficult it is to travel when you have animals. You have to book a kennel further in advance than the caravan park!

 

Anyway that is it. I am exhausted.

 

I hope things are better for you guys! 

All my love.

 

 

[ottg]

Hi Eyebrow,

Not many here since Mara left. Congratulations with the citizenship - well deserved.

You mentioned FB - please elaborate on which sites are popular for expats and where the conversations still going.

With regards to RSA - shocked to see so many of my ex  colleagues eventually left to find employment offshore. Many of them FIFO as their families are still in RSA.

 

Hmmm...JOB is just over broke.

 

You mentioned the dilemma of retiring here if you leave it too late.

You need approx $250k Super, no debt and your home to be paid off, then you will be ok in retirement. With age pension that will leave a couple with approx $50k pa to spend. By doing a few hours a week you can increase that to 60k. The best way is to become your own financial planner i.e DIY Investor. If you left it till late then you cannot be too risk adverse and expect high returns.

 

Regarding the dog collar - not sure, but instead of the one that gives a shock there was one that gives an high frequency pitch which irritates the dog when it barks. Not sure if its pet friendly approved.

 

Merry Xmas & take care!

 

Edited December 11, 2019 by ottg

[Bonny]

Ai Eyebrow I hear you. Let’s call it the 7 year itch?  

[ErnaC]

I COULD NOT wait to hear an update!! When we immigrated 20 years ago, my mum was diagnosed with breast cancer (3 months after we left) - we had no money to go and visit immediately...as we entered as visitors at that time, we had return flight tickets and we went back for a visit after 11 months....we bought one way tickets coming back then....my mum had a breat removed, went through chemo and was in the middle of radiation when we arrived...I was TOO scared to see my mum..my mum ran up to us when we arrived at the airport BUT she looked great and still had all her hair...it broke my heart to leave my mum in Pretoria for her treatments(they lived in Rustenburg and my dad visited her 2/3 times a week)....NOW they live in a granny flat in our back yard in Mackay  (mum had her breast reconstruction 8 years ago in NZ)..they are receiving NZ pension (they are NZ citizens since 2006) and Australia top their pension up to earn the same as AU citizens...how lucky are we?? By the way...today is my mum's birthday...71 years young!!!

Edited December 15, 2019 by ErnaC
mistake

[KayB]

My heart goes out to you @Eyebrow. Thank you for your honest review. Hope your back gets better speedily. @ErnaC wow, what a light at the end of the tunnel. Glad it all turned out ok for you. Life is tough nomatter where one lives. But being in Australia is definitely a privilege.

[Eyebrow]

And so it ends.

 

After 8 years. So many obstacles in our way.

So many journeys and surprises and life lessons.

 

I am older and grey-er.

We have bought a house. We have a dog and a cat.

 

We are settled and we have a life.

We are all navigating our new reality as best we can.

 

But today? Today we have become citizens of this great country.

Something that seemed beyond unachievable. And it was hard.

Tears and laughter.

So today "Apparently it is now" ends.

We are here. WE ARE HERE.

 

I read though my journaling over the years and I wished I could've hugged the woman I was and promised her that it would be ok... But hindsight, hey?🙄

 

If someone reads this ever and they are discouraged... Read our story.

It starts with http://www.saaustralia.org/topic/38193-if-not-now-then-when/

And it ends with this thread you are reading now.

In it you will find an eight year journey chronicled. An impossible journey.

But maybe you can take some hope from it.

 

Thank you to all the forumites that supported us. I lived for your support when I was sitting worrying into the early morning hours.

 

So happy to be here. Even to go though Covid here.

 

So sad to have given up our RSA citizenship. An admission that we won't go back. And a break in my heart that will perhaps never fully heal and that only you will understand.

 

Go well my friends.

 

 

[ottg]

@EyebrowCongratulation with the citizenship and home ownership! Your story is a story of real resilience.

Thank you for sharing that with all of us!!

Best wishes to you and your family.

[Dill]

Such good news! Congratulations 🇦🇺 I lived and loved your journey and miss the old, and far more lively, days on these forums. 
All the best for a fabulous future for you and your family!

[TeeTMI]

Congratulations on your family becoming Australian Citizens Eyebrow!

The effort and dedication you have put into making your journey work has been extraordinary. Many (most) people would have given up at any one of the many obstacles (and the pain, frustration and heartache that some of these must have caused) that were placed in your way along the course of your journey.   

My hat is off to you - I hope they had trumpets celebrating your Citizenship ceremony as you certainly deserved them.

 

Go well.