"Stop Being Pedantic!"

[SmellyN]

So I don't even know how to begin this one...or even how to tag it...

This is what I got told by an agent yesterday!! Too which end I burst into tears. We are at the end of our tether at the moment...we need a house!!

The scenario played out after, in desperation after another unsuccessful weekend (&week!) of househunting...I called the agent that has been "helping" us the best again (hadn't spoken to her for over a week & was waiting on her "return" call which never came)...

So she threw the same push of this ancient house on a main Highway road (at an exorbitant price still) to which I firmly said to her it would NOT be an option:

1- because of the kids & the road NO FENCE!!- It's a HIGHWAY outside with all of a 3m flat grass strip!! The people drive like hooligans here even though the speed limit is enforced- it's just different to our driving.

2-we wouldn't be able to get ANY of our beds down the narrow 4bedroom corridor (it looks like they welded the beds up in there!!) &

3-The extra garage the owners now want to use for their own storage & we need it & they aren't willing in dropping the price because of it! 4-The kids anyway wouldn't cope because this houses' main bedroom in the front is about 3times the distance away from the other bedrooms...

To which end I got the snotty comment...

I answered back through the tears "You just don't understand! My kids are young too & they are in the bedroom with us almost every night...in particular the 3yr old! We are a very close family".....

I got told: "Well you're NOT LIVING IN SOUTH AFRICA ANYMORE! JUST DEAL WITH IT & STOP BEING SO FUSSY!!"

I told her as it was an accumulation of problems she had no right to throw that at me! I asked her bluntly how it was acceptable to her to go & live in a mildewed old beach hut (that she'd shown me as one of her "top" options) & that "You'll LOVE IT!!" (you will hear this often!!) -so if YOU Love it- YOU go & live in it!: it's a SH#THOLE!!! -We'd be more in hospital with the kids than the trouble it was worth!

We "talked" back & forth & eventually she said well if I was willing to haul out more money then things could work! GAAHHH!!! SERIOUSLY?!!!????

The amount we are shopping around with is by no means "cheap" for this area -it's placed at the middle-upper end of the scale...we should be able to get something but we can't because of the holiday-rental season.

I told her there was no point going beyond the budgeted figure otherwise we would land ourselves in financial troubles/ have no food money for the month...we are trying to be honourable in our business & not overextending ourselves....she answered: "Move into the place & leave the lights & appliances off if you have to. Do what you have to do!!" ----HUH?!?!

Ok. SO here I sit feeling as if I'm from the planet Mars and yes -feeling very much the proverbial "alien" in the country! So confused & depressed right now it's just not true....we have just over a week left in this place that the company has sponsored & THEN WHAT?!? -It's not a nice feeling.....

MORAL OF OUR STORY: don't arrive in town when it's Holiday Season (especially in our case where the small town is very Tourism orientated)

The rest of it I have no comment on or the words to describe....my brain & heart is numb from stress at the moment...Our eldest has taken considerable strain with the housing issue & knowing the great possibility of having to change schools again...she flipped out on us the weekend after apparently doing so well-she was hiding it....I've even approached the school about counselling...

Here's to trying to wake up in the morning now...I prayer every night that something will come up. Very thankful for all our blessings this far...we have a decent roof over our heads........for now......

[HansaPlease]

Sorry to hear about this. Just remember that she doesn't speak for Australia, or all agents...she sounds extremely unprofessional.

What area are you looking in? Perhaps we can help?

[SmellyN]

http://www.saaustralia.org/index.php/user/2031-hansaplease/ We're in South Gippsland area...currently in Inverloch....hubby works in Leongatha...we've tried Wonthaggi & Leongatha & surrounds (as far as possible within reasonable driving limits) & getting no joy....all the good stuff the guys are all holding for holiday rental or they want to sell/are pressurizing us to try & buy...we need a 4-5 bedroom house, with large living areas, with at least 2-3 car garage to accommodate all our stuff...the listings on the websites (there are a few) are all if not most unavailable...we've asked & been told that the stuff has already been let (yet not removed?!)

[HansaPlease]

Of course, Inverloch, I remember now. I can imagine how hard it is to find a place, and the silly thing is, in Winter there will be plenty available.

How long are you in your current accommodation for?

[AndreR]

I sympathise, I really do. While we never expect special treatment, if only Aussies could understand the sacrifices we have made and the resulting stress we have gone through just to put our feet on the runway. They just have no clue. You fight so hard for everything, every little step of the way, and there is just no relenting. You think it might get better when you have a job and earning some money, but the stress only mounts because you don't have time to sort stuff out and you're using half your energy trying to put on a facade of normalcy, and also trying to impress people into thinking they did a good thing hiring you.

The only hope we have is that time will sort things out.

[Stell]

Just awful for you all !!!

Your list of musts is quite long and I'm afraid the rental market in a small town is not fun, you might have to look for a storage place for your extra stuff, get a smaller house and the kids can share rooms. You have to find somewhere to live and you will have to make-do - sorry I'm sure this is not what you want to hear and I'm not trying to be mean or judge you. If pos try and get a 6 month rent and then when winter is here you can look for something better. I would even put an advert in the local newpaper and you may find someone privately or something on a farm ?

The other thing is that you must be careful that your actions and feelings and stress are not rubbing off on the children - kids pick up everything we feel and you need to protect them from this at all costs.

Keep strong and keep the faith !

[AndreaL]

How awful! Is that the only agency there? If there is another I would stay far away from that one.

I did a quick google and would any of these help http://www.thehomepage.com.au/rent/inverloch-vic/house/4-5-bedrooms

http://www.realestate.com.au/rent/with-4-bedrooms-in-inverloch%2c+vic+3996%3b+/list-1?maxBeds=5

This one has a 4x2 for $295 a week, that is a great price http://www.stockdaleleggo.com.au/leongatha/results.asp?st=rent&suburb=&category=residential&price1=&price2=&price1Rent=&price2Rent=&OFFICE_ID=133

A list of agencies https://plus.google.com/local/Leongatha%20VIC/s/Real%20Estate%20Agency?hl=en

http://www.homesales.com.au/rent/?location=Inverloch%2c+Victoria%2c+Suburb&types=House&numBedrooms=4&numCarPorts=0&landSize=0&priceFrom=0&priceTo=0

Fences might be a problem and sometimes garages too, although newer built houses should have them, or have you looked rural for something bigger?

I wish we could help, hang in there and just ignore that horrible woman.

[Jordy]

Not to pry, but what is your budget for a house?

Unfortunately the style of the master bedroom being at the opposite end of the house to the kids bedrooms is the Aussie norm. As a parent of a small children, this has to be the stupidiest design option I have ever encountered. Whoever thought it up should be shot. But then this is Australia and every single house I have been in has that design. At least in WA.

[Sa2Nz2Oz]

I got told: "Well you're NOT LIVING IN SOUTH AFRICA ANYMORE! JUST DEAL WITH IT & STOP BEING SO FUSSY!!"

I dont think she has a clue, you are the customer, you pay her salary, so rude! I would of told her that.

[HansaPlease]

I dont think she has a clue, you are the customer, you pay her salary, so rude! I would of told her that.

To which she would have said: "You don't pay my salary, the landlord does. I work for landlords, not for tenants, as do all agents ...

But anyway, that's besides the point.

[AndreaL]

I like the bedroom at the front now that the kids are bigger, I do not like it in that when hubby is night shift and sleeping in the day, the front door traffic disturbs him. The links I provided above show a great range of price, maybe rent affordable at the moment and put some of your extras into storage until you find the place you really want.

I know how you feel, I cried in front of the agent when we viewed into our first rental in Perth..............she must have thought I was crazy, it didn't even have a bath.

I honestly hope you find something liveable soon. Best of luck to you.

[Heymanse]

I like the bedroom at the front now that the kids are bigger, I do not like it in that when hubby is night shift and sleeping in the day, the front door traffic disturbs him. The links I provided above show a great range of price, maybe rent affordable at the moment and put some of your extras into storage until you find the place you really want.

I know how you feel, I cried in front of the agent when we viewed into our first rental in Perth..............she must have thought I was crazy, it didn't even have a bath.

I honestly hope you find something liveable soon. Best of luck to you.

I must agree. LOVE the bedroom in the front - but then, my kids are 18 and 21 so the further they can be from mom and dad, the better for everyone's well-being

Don't get me started on the baths, if you're lucky to get a bath, it is so small that if you do want to take a nice relaxing bath, you'll have to be a contortionist in order to fit into the bath (there goes the relaxation part of it)

[Stell]

Also went to look on Realestate.com and what everyone is missing is that there just are no 5 bed homes and only a couple of 4 bed - yes the agent was rude but she cannot give what is being asked so compromise is the only way forward. It's tough arriving here and getting set up - for some thing just fall into place for others the road is hard but you MUST be prepared to compromise. Homes are often a lot smaller than in Africa and people tend to bring too much normally very large furniture and then struggle - especially fitting it into a rental !

[chzaau]

I would go with what Stell says, get a lock up storage, find something that would work, maybe not ideal in the short term and in the winter have the pick of the bunch.

Sometime that 2 steps back now will turn into a big jump next.

[McCabes]

Hugs Smelly!!!

I'm so sorry you are having a hard time!

I think this is probably not what you want to hear, but I think Stell has really good advice and you may need to go with something smaller until the holidays are over.

Thinking of you - hang in there.

[AndreaL]

I don't know, I found 20 plus 4 bedroom homes with this link http://www.thehomepage.com.au/rent/inverloch-vic/house/4-5-bedrooms?page=3 ranging in price from $390 to $1800 (ridiculous) and one ugly ass 5 bedroom that should be condemned, so I don't think that is too bad.

A couple of them are new and have garages...............unless they are taken and are just a lure to get you interested in the not so nice ones, there is a nice 4x2 for $370, 14 Diane Place in Inverloch (hopefully).

Others that don't look too bad from the outside are 21 Royal parade $390 p/w

8 Endeavour Place with 2 living areas for $450

66 Meanderri Drive $380

Just remember also that sometimes they say 4 bedrooms and it is actually 3 and a study or closet size bedroom

I'm sure that you have already looked at these places and perhaps they are gone already, maybe find out which day of the week each agency lists its latest rentals and be super quick, I found that in Perth anyway.

I'm saying that $390 is not too bad, but of course I don't know what the wages are like there, so just ignore me if I am being unrealistic, just keep at it and get a half decent roof over your head and then at least you will have the time to look at leisure.

[Johnno]

I must agree. LOVE the bedroom in the front - but then, my kids are 18 and 21 so the further they can be from mom and dad, the better for everyone's well-being

Don't get me started on the baths, if you're lucky to get a bath, it is so small that if you do want to take a nice relaxing bath, you'll have to be a contortionist in order to fit into the bath (there goes the relaxation part of it)

Not to hijack this thread but jaslaaik, I agree....the baths are pathetically small in Australia! When we renovated our bathrooms a few months ago we have now landed up with the opposite problem, we went too big! When the contractor was doing the quote we were so over the tiny baths that my comment " I want the biggest kick ass bath you can fit" was taken literally. Now it takes about an hour to fill so we still shower

[rikamarie]

Wow, what a horrible experience!! So sorry to hear that you are struggling so to get a rental! You right to stand up for what you want and thinking and thinking about the kids. Thinking of you and hoping and praying you'll get something decent soon!

[LindaandPaul]

Sending you a big hug right now - I hope that you find something soon and that it fits all your requirements. Don't let anyone treat you badly, you don't deserve it!

[SmellyN]

http://www.saaustralia.org/index.php/user/2279-andreal/ Thanks for trying with the list & to others that have drafted a list/given advice..we are shopping around with about $500/wk -again not a bad price (ok granted to all of you living out in the city that this would still be cheap in comparison, but then we have to drive a lot more around here without the use of the many city transport services etc) We are familiar with all of those houses (been driving up &down the streets 5-6times a day & doing viewings every 2nd or 3rd day (much to the disappointment of the agents as they generally only have to do once a week & I have the time to be flexible & make it my only project!!) They are not available!!!! Again WHY they are even on the website is beside me....Diane place is available but very,very small (scheme box houseI was to be 3rd in queue on application as there were "already 2 pending" . I've been thinking along the lines of informing the Estate Agents Licensing Board about what they are doing or even the papers...but don't want to "krap waar dit nie jik nie" otherwise knowing small towns we could make things difficult for ourselves...then again it's difficult now as it is.... :whome:Everyone has been trying to help but as you can see by the prices ($2,000+per week) they are what we term: PLAIN "BEDONNERD!!!" Only problem is with storing container...we need the baby's stuff & clothes in particular & some other urgent things, fine for a mth or 2, but these guys have indicated that houses MIGHT only be available after 2-3mths & then we would only be able to sign on a minimum of 6mths...6mths storage at a minimum (excluding initiation fees etc) for our LARGE container @$700/mth!! That's a bit steep for us...there are also special handling fees involved for a large 4m table etc...Trust me...had we known all of this we would have LEFT most of it behind (if not all of it)...could've continued running the farm guesthouse accommodation etc....We've looked at farm properties too (not scared of this) but they are REALLY bad most if not all of them...the better farm-houses are for sale mainly...

[Sa2Nz2Oz]

To which she would have said: "You don't pay my salary, the landlord does. I work for landlords, not for tenants, as do all agents ...

But anyway, that's besides the point.

Allow me to connect the dots for you. Who pays the landlord? ...... the customer/tenant. Thats what I was trying to get at.

[HansaPlease]

Allow me to connect the dots for you. Who pays the landlord? ...... the customer/tenant. Thats what I was trying to get at.

Oh wow, thanks for pointing that our for me.

[MrsMupersan]

SnellyN, I can sympathise with your plight - it's pretty stressful when you arrive and trying to find a place is hard - where ever you are.

Unfortunately what I'm about to say next isn't going to be what you want to hear. Here's a reality check. You're in Australia now - not South Africa anymore. There have been hundreds of posts over the years on this forum about what to expect when you get here. There have been plenty of posts about the differences in the houses (size, configuration, construction, etc). It's a pity you didn't read any of these in preparation.

Since arriving here 6 years ago, we have lived in 3 different states and 6 different houses/apartments - all rentals - so I'm speaking from experience.

1. You are NOT the customer and you will not be treated like one by the agent. You are merely one in a long line of tenants to occupy a property for their customer - the landlord. This is how it is. Get used to it as it won't change.

2. Australians are non confrontational and, for the most part, speak to each other (in business dealings) with respect and consideration. And they expect the same in return. If you want to get an agent's back up, well.... you've already done that and can't expect any more assistance from this one. Unless you go back to her, hat in hand and apologise for your outburst. And humbly ask for assistance. I'm not joking.

3. Your expectations are way too high and your list of 'must haves' is just unrealistic. This is not South Africa where you can stamp your feet and get what you want. What you are looking for, at this time of year, doesn't exist. Move on and look at different options. If you have to sit the family down and give them the same reality check, then do that. Also remember that a bigger house = more cleaning. Smaller rooms and less indoor entertainment areas are the norm here. People live outdoors - especially if you're lucky enough to live in a holiday destination. Choose a smaller place for 6 months. Find your feet. Get your bearings. Spend time getting to know the region and then look for a new rental in winter when you have more choice and are a little more familiar with your surroundings.

4. If you can't get your furniture down a house passage, it's too big and you'll likely have that same problem in most houses here. (This too has been a repeat topic in this forum over the years.) As has been suggested previously, you should consider putting some of your things into storage. By your answer above, you seem to have misunderstood this advice to mean leave your entire container in storage. Australians are hoarders. They keep everything! There are storage units you can hire to store all your excess things. Do a Google search for storage units in your area. You should be paying around $100 to $150 per month for a normal garage sized unit.

Good luck with your search. I hope you're able to find something that will do until winter when you have more options and aren't under so much pressure.

[OnYellowBrickRd]

SmellyN I am sorry to hear about your experience. I wish you well from now on.

One thing I have learnt in this journey is to adjust to your circumstances. You will change your plans MANY times and...you know what?...it's ok. Moving to another country is very stressful and I can understand that you want to make it as comfortable for your family as possible. But, for now, getting by with the basics will be an easier option.

You say that you would have left a lot of your stuff in RSA if you had known what you know now. Why not use this as an opportunity to get rid of the stuff you don't really need. Advertise on ebay or gumtree and make some money while you are at it.

I agree that the agent was rude and that you don't need that right now. As the forumites have said, you need to start fresh. Try to find another agent and approach your search differently. Perhaps consider moving even further away from hubby's job for a while. 6 months will go by faster than you know and that will give you some time to have a good look at rentals.

Good luck

[SmellyN]

SnellyN, I can sympathise with your plight - it's pretty stressful when you arrive and trying to find a place is hard - where ever you are.

Unfortunately what I'm about to say next isn't going to be what you want to hear. Here's a reality check. You're in Australia now - not South Africa anymore. There have been hundreds of posts over the years on this forum about what to expect when you get here. There have been plenty of posts about the differences in the houses (size, configuration, construction, etc). It's a pity you didn't read any of these in preparation.

Since arriving here 6 years ago, we have lived in 3 different states and 6 different houses/apartments - all rentals - so I'm speaking from experience.

1. You are NOT the customer and you will not be treated like one by the agent. You are merely one in a long line of tenants to occupy a property for their customer - the landlord. This is how it is. Get used to it as it won't change.

2. Australians are non confrontational and, for the most part, speak to each other (in business dealings) with respect and consideration. And they expect the same in return. If you want to get an agent's back up, well.... you've already done that and can't expect any more assistance from this one. Unless you go back to her, hat in hand and apologise for your outburst. And humbly ask for assistance. I'm not joking.

3. Your expectations are way too high and your list of 'must haves' is just unrealistic. This is not South Africa where you can stamp your feet and get what you want. What you are looking for, at this time of year, doesn't exist. Move on and look at different options. If you have to sit the family down and give them the same reality check, then do that. Also remember that a bigger house = more cleaning. Smaller rooms and less indoor entertainment areas are the norm here. People live outdoors - especially if you're lucky enough to live in a holiday destination. Choose a smaller place for 6 months. Find your feet. Get your bearings. Spend time getting to know the region and then look for a new rental in winter when you have more choice and are a little more familiar with your surroundings.

4. If you can't get your furniture down a house passage, it's too big and you'll likely have that same problem in most houses here. (This too has been a repeat topic in this forum over the years.) As has been suggested previously, you should consider putting some of your things into storage. By your answer above, you seem to have misunderstood this advice to mean leave your entire container in storage. Australians are hoarders. They keep everything! There are storage units you can hire to store all your excess things. Do a Google search for storage units in your area. You should be paying around $100 to $150 per month for a normal garage sized unit.

Good luck with your search. I hope you're able to find something that will do until winter when you have more options and aren't under so much pressure.

Respectfully I will reply the following....granted you have been here a long time, but no-one stands in anyone else's shoes, but themselves...just telling it like it is...I don't do "sugar-coating" either...

1.- It's not very nice to assume that we've not prepared...I've been a member long enough on this forum & this whole process is something we've been researching for at least 10yrs.

2.- We have our own standards and will not sacrifice them...if we've set them high it's for a good reason to at least be able to "accommodate" & be flexible on things to come down to the middle-ground if need be....we've been through too much already to negotiate on any of this, especially when it means selling yr soul or jeopardising yr health.

3.- I'm NOT ignorant and I AM a landowner facing the same issues in a different country with regards to leasing property etc. the only difference here is that because people are more educated here the corruption (when there is) is a lot more planned and intricated...no-one said the grass would be greener on the other side....there are 2 parts to that saying, the second part I haven't mentioned is true.

4.- As to being "respectful & Considerate" that is a matter of opinion...."tolerant" I can understand...because no-one will say no to the colour of yr money, however you speak as if you have first hand knowledge of how our situation is....you have no right...after 4wks of being patient and "business-like" to the point I could scream...Don't know how "business-like" it is to ignore people's formal communications & still have the grace to be snotty about it & think that tomorrow there will still be business, when a lot of people are now suffering from listening to the whole "wisdom" of the agent's words...in particular I refer to the whole Wonthaggi Desal issue & how many people are already sitting without jobs, now that it has already been built.....We have experience coming from a similar small tourist town to have seen what the effects of this are 5yrs later....it's not pretty seeing people loose their homes...why do you think so much property is actually for sale here now?! These people sitting pretty will have a big shock in another year or so if they don't change their attitude.

I STILL have kept my cool within limits...I spoke to the agent and yes -that is still why she is helping us still, because I've been open explaining about things from our point of view...last I checked she understood & conceded that we weren't so wrong afterall & that the same aforementioned concerns were materializing already, so we did come up with some vague sort of plan, but it is FAR BEYOND yr conventional means due to the tourism nature...it strictly speaking involves someone hauling out a $1,000,000 for an investment so that we may rent long-term. (we are on speaking terms & trying to bounce around a couple of options) we've just run out of time.

5.- As to the rest of yr answer...I don't have the strength to answer, as yes there are high emotions & exhaustion involved....we are well aware of the "reality" of things(it's not as if we can't be!!)...We're NOT prepared to dump our stuff on a whim, just because it won't work for other people....if not for our sake's then for our children...we left everything else that they've known in their lives behind...it's enough of a shock to them -yes they adjust it does take time...it IS something they will remember....I did it with my mother at their age...I'm not prepared to put them through anything remotely similar, so we will be grounding ourselves as far as possible for the next 2yrs at least, we also have commitments to an employer to consider & trust me even THAT is no party right now as hubby has landed in the middle of a beehive as a contractor strictly speaking....What you are suggesting is tantamount to giving up on our ideals & make-up......NEVER WILL WE DO THIS!! It's our tenacity & ability to "conform" that got us here in the first place...we will get through this...not to say it's at all easy like some people have it...i.e. for example if we didn't have the kids along etc...It would be easier doing things alone, but then again we are blessed to have 3 beautiful very strong children who look to us for direction....Lead we will, come hell or high water...if we want our belongings to set them up in life then it's our choice....if I want a bigger bed...I'll have it...I did pay for it afterall...I realise there are sacrifices...but the least I can do is make sure everyone is comfortable in particular my hardworking husband...just accepting it as it is, is not an option....he does work hard enough...yes we do "make our own bed" so yes we will "lie down in it"! At least it fits all 5 of us with warmth & love!

As to the housework....I honestly am of the opinion that we as South Africans have become far too accustomed to the cheap labour & the rush of life in RSA. I've been doing my own housework back home for quite some time, so luckily this end it feels easy...I dealt with 3 farmhouses & the farm animals- granted I may not wear high-heels or paint my face everyday, but I am grounded enough to be able to laugh at a good joke & at myself!