OzDreams Posted August 25, 2013 Report Share Posted August 25, 2013 (edited) My children and I are cold and starving. Guess I’ll have to get up and turn down the ac once the pizza guy gets here.My smartphone changes “lol” to “LOL” making me sound more amused than I actually am.I hit ‘dismiss’ instead of ‘snooze’ so now I have to actually wake upI use Google Chrome, so my lack of need to go to the actual Google domain causes me to miss most of the special occasion logos.I want to read in the bathtub but I’m afraid my book might electrocute me.My hand is too fat to shove into the Pringles container so I am forced to tilt it.I parked my Lexus in wet cement and everyone is taking pictures instead of helping me.My mom makes us clean the house BEFORE the cleaning ladies come so that they don’t think we’re dirty.I was out of extra virgin olive oil, so I had to cook my breakfast with slutty olive oil.Google maps hasn’t driven by my house since I repainted and landscaped.I forgot to take my iPod to the gym, so had to exercise with no music like some sort of 1930′s strongman.I didn’t have a shitty childhood, so I can’t turn my pain into art.I forgot to bring my phone with me when I went to poop and I was bored the entire time.The documentary I’m watching isn’t narrated by Morgan Freeman.I switched lanes because I thought the other one was faster. It wasn’t. Edited August 25, 2013 by OzDreams 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OubaasDik Posted August 25, 2013 Report Share Posted August 25, 2013 What a tough life. I particularly like the olive oil ..... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OubaasDik Posted August 26, 2013 Report Share Posted August 26, 2013 A woman at work was telling us about her personal first-world problem today. She and her beloved went and bought a huge-screen LED or plasma or something TV set , and now she is upset because she used to like some actress on Spartacus (or something - I wasn't listening) and now she can see that the chick is all old and wrinkled, whereas before she appeared smooth, and like a baby's bum. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ronfire Posted August 26, 2013 Report Share Posted August 26, 2013 A woman at work was telling us about her personal first-world problem today. She and her beloved went and bought a huge-screen LED or plasma or something TV set , and now she is upset because she used to like some actress on Spartacus (or something - I wasn't listening) and now she can see that the chick is all old and wrinkled, whereas before she appeared smooth, and like a baby's bum. The horror, the horror 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OzDreams Posted August 26, 2013 Author Report Share Posted August 26, 2013 What a tough life. I particularly like the olive oil .....Or do you particularly like to think of all those slutty olives? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OubaasDik Posted August 26, 2013 Report Share Posted August 26, 2013 Or do you particularly like to think of all those slutty olives? Nah, not so much - just enjoy cleverness - no matter where it leads, and that's clever and unexpected. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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