The Road to Canberra

[Jasper]

As part of the process of relieving the stress and strains from the process, perhaps the concept of Journaling wouldn't be altogether a bad idea. I must admit I've never been one for the idea of a journal, nor considered myself one to put my feelings on paper, or bits and bytes for that matter. But lets, shall we?

In Chapter 1 of what may potentially be a series of posts on our road to Canberra, we'll see the origin story of our intrepid explorers - who for the sake of the narrative I'll refer to in 3rd person. Nothing more than a literary device for a lazy writer and will most likely slip in and out of various tenses and voices.

It began on a cool spring morning, although to be honest, I haven't a clue what the weather was like. I barely noticed what it's like today, but on that cool, spring morning of 2012, our intrepid explorers - newly engaged and fresh faced like the same morning dew on that spring morning we just established was completely made up, a question arose. It wasn't something either of them had discussed before, but a question both had long since considered.

"Do you want to immigrate?", she asked with a hesitation that can only be described with the unspoken subtext of "I've been thinking about this for a while but it sounds crazy, no?"

To which he responded almost immediately, "Actually now that you mention it, I was thinking about that a lot recently - yes!"... to which his unspoken subtext also responded "yep, you're right, it does sound crazy but hey let's find out". To this day it is unclear how their subtexts were able to communicate.

With the subject broached, they left it at that for the evening having no real idea what they'd gotten themselves into and even less of an idea of where to begin. Little did they know that the truly biggest part of their journey had already occurred.

The next morning, while working a full 8 to 5 day at the office, the lesser half of our intrepid explorers did what can only be described as an outrageously little amount of work. The kind of small amounts only truly discussed by men in white coats, who stand around Hadron Colliders discussing the infinitesimal possibilities of particles in the universe, and their sandwiches. The latter being less important, and more often than not, cheese based.

Throughout the day of boson-esque sized amounts of work, the lesser half read as much as he could, with multiple browser tabs, and multiple downloaded PDFS and booklets he'd found online, tips and comments, thoughts and feelings, tweets and videos, and every configuration of discussion about immigration and what was involved his internet connection could accommodate. He compared immigration laws across various countries and continents, climate conditions, images, google maps and street views, weighing up the options and choices. The ADSL line was later quoted as having said "sheeesh". A few things became almost instantly clear to him: Canada was too cold, and the UK was too gloomy, but Australia was Goldilocksian - a technical term (well, it is now).

After much eye rubbing, and messages between both the lesser and better half that ranged from an excited frenzy to a bewildered panic, the couple had realised two very important things:

This was no easy feat.

The decision was still yes.

- Chapter 2: "We're off to see the Wizard, I think?"

Edited July 16, 2013 by Jasper

[Clover]

Wow ! ! ! What a delightful way of expressing the beginning of your journey. I thoroughly
enjoyed reading it. You should consider this as a full time profession.

Waiting anxiously for chapter 2

[Lyn]

Brilliantly written Jasper, please don't make us wait too long for the next chapter.

[AndreaL]

What will happen before you get to the great man?.........I can't wait to find out.

[Mikeleigh]

More please..........excellent read

[AlBrough]

That sounds like an oddly familiar story

[OubaasDik]

What will happen before you get to the great man?.........I can't wait to find out.

I think a hut falls on you and your red shoes are left sticking out from under, but I maaay be wrong ....

[AndreaL]

I think a hut falls on you and your red shoes are left sticking out from under, but I maaay be wrong ....

You're such a pessimist

[Jasper]

In the continuing adventures of two intrepid explorers, we pick up the journey where we left off in Chapter 1, with an aptly consecutive, Chapter 2:

Following the previous day's intensive and exhaustive research, the lesser half of our intrepid explorer couple, aided by the support and encouragement of the aforementioned better half, began to make the varied and necessary enquiries as to exactly how all of this could actually happen.

The unfortunate aspects of a tale like this, as opposed to other intrepid explorers of a more famous, or im- nature, such as a Louis and Clark, or Crusoe and his calendar inspired companion - is that there isn't a tremendous amount of excitement to be had. It begs the question then, dear reader, as I'm sure you may pose at any moment: "Why then tell the tale?"

This may invariably be followed by wandering thoughts as to whether the tale may take an unexpected, adventurous turn, and include aspects of glitter-laced mythological night time creatures, or children attending private school to which the only means of arrival is by flying car or hurling oneself at a brick wall, but alas none of this rings true.

Our, newly discovered-to-be-boring, intrepid explorers truly have had an unadventurous time as they have proceeded through this new adventure. The word "adventure" now losing all meaning in this case and used purely out of habit rather than context. So, in the manner of so many authors where it becomes necessary to illustrate the passing of time, a literary device will be employed. Namely:

* * * *

Having completed the dreaded language exam, where our lesser-half received a somewhat surprising 8.0 for the writing section - it must be noted as an aside that the author of this loquacious piece is that self-same person, but nevertheless - and having gone through the arduous process of accumulating a vast empire of documentation that would draw attention from the likes of Greenpeace considering the miles of Amazonian rainforest that had to be sacrificed in exchange, and having submitting and receiving a positive assessment for the nominated occupation that no one particularly wants in the first place, our intrepid explorers were well on their way to a new world.

By this point in our story, our tame and boring adventurers have conducted their business in the style of a Dan Brown novel - secretively as illuminati. Hiding in the shadows of private collusion. Assuming that is, that we define private as having told most of the immediate family but just not friends as yet. The kind of private that is generally considered entirely not so.

One of the earliest recipients of the news of their departure, would also turn out to be the most vocal, and while she was not required to apply for a visa herself, did turn out to be one of the largest expenses and concerns of the process.

By she, we refer to the beloved family's only-child, their dog. A fountain of energy, bundled in a tornado of more energy, spiced with an energetic herb and a dash of lemon. She, of the voracious appetite and vocal ability discussed in depth the accommodation needs once the intrepid explorers departed. It goes without saying, although in this case it will not go without saying in the slightest, that the decision to take this journey as a family of 3 (or 2.5 depending on your proclivity for algebra) was made in less time than it takes for light to travel from the one side of the Department of Home Affairs to the other. That is to say, on a good day, where the light had not had to attempt to apply for an Unabridged Birth Certificate.

With the obvious decisions in hand, the lesser-half of our couple made immediate enquiries as to how exactly one goes about putting up a child with altogether too much fur, and after retrieving dual jaws from the nearest floor, a further decision was made: Living in abject poverty and the discovery of one of the most expensive furry children known to man, something the intrepid explorers are want to remind their little one frequently.

Following a diet of bread and water, and the conclusion that, at the very least, a portion of meals would be sourced from local pavements strewn with black bags, the intrepid explorers set out on their continuing, albeit secretive, adventures.

- Chapter 3: "Aus, the Great and Powerful"

[Clover]

Always wonderful reading, thanks for sharing

I await the next chapter

[Lyn]

I'm sure when times are rough here, your fur ball will bring you happiness. And I doubt very much it will be a bread and water existence for you three. Wish I could have bought my two with.

Look forward to next installment.

[Jasper]

And in an ever fitting bit of timing, we continue the story with Chapter 3: Aus, the Great and Powerful

* * * *

On a day, very much like today, or in fact, entirely like today considering the events that transpired occurred this very day, our intrepid explorers were welcomed with, arguably, the most exciting news possible. But let's flashback for a second shall we? Queue murky dissolve effects and ethereal music.

After months of document hoarding, the journey that included local police officers having to replace stamps and arms after lengthy bouts of singing, confirming, signing and confirming ended. This was a further end to inordinate waiting periods at departments of home affairs, which are entirely unlike any home or affair for that matter - a visit which, I don't mind telling you because of it's shameful nature, lasted 5 hours of queue waiting until phonecalls were made to office managers and sick fiances were invented to circumvent this entirely ridiculous situation.

The inevitable wearing out of mouse buttons as email was checked, rechecked and checked again on a 5 minute by 5 minute basis ended. The next step would have clearly been to call Google Inc and enquire as to whether or not we could perhaps set ourselves up in their offices so as not to wait the further nanosecond for our emails to arrive, because clearly this would be a time better spent without the occasional, nay - regular, nay - constant panic attacks.

The waning bravado that was so prevalent in the early stages of this forsaken process, which turned to fear, panic, and eventual give-up-itude turned to elation, excitement and a not insignificant amount of man-shaming tears.

It is, without question, an experience quite like any other. Granted, without much frame of reference having not had any children yet or even the wedding, it would be quite fair to argue with these fair, inept explorers, that there are experiences in this world that may match it. However, one could argue that waiting for the impending birth of a child is not coupled with constant checking of emails and a complete radio silence from the related party. That, my dear readers, is an experience which instills fear into the hearts of the bravest men. Not that the bravest men have been a part of this situation in the slightest mind you, they were unavailable for comment at this time as they were attending the annual Chain Crochet conference. One of whom, this year, crochets a very lovely chain link fence with a repeating bunny that was rather fetching, but I digress.

After months of will-they-won't-they, and an almost exact year since starting the research and initial thinking of "are we really this absolutely nuts?", our inept explorers finally received confirmation that they would, indeed, earn the explorer title after all.

The day the email came. The day the notification was given. The day the subject read "Visa Grant Notification.

The day the world changed.

---- Chapter 4: Who knows?