Jump to content

The end of my life as I knew it


OnYellowBrickRd

Recommended Posts

We signed the sales contract for our house today. I am truly grateful for the fact that we found a buyer who was interested even before we put our house on the market and they are willing to pay our asking price...with no agent fees. We are blessed.

But now the emotions hit...hard.

We bought this house 12 years ago, moving into it from our parents' homes. Over the years we have fought tooth and nail to keep it despite long, uncertain periods of unemployment. We eventually came to the conclusion that we would never be able to afford to move, so we started to renovate it to our taste...ourselves. I finally felt that my house was an expression of who I am. And now we're moving to Australia.

Today I am sad. I realise that we will not only be saying goodbye to all the memories made inside these walls, but we'll also say goodbye to the future we had planned. Yes, even that was not glamorous, but it was pretty certain...pretty predictable.

I guess the idea of moving to another unknown continent, with all its unfamiliarities and insecurities is hitting me now. And today I am sad. Today I will cry about being forced to make this decision.

I somehow believe that I will one day look back with fondness at the guts it took to move. And I trust that one day I will believe that doing this was the best decision. I hope that I will find a safe, lovely home in Australia.

But for today... I mourn.

  • Like 6
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Its ok to grieve for a home and the memories made in it. But, after the ink dries you will realise that you take those memories with you, stored on the little hard drive in your head. You are very, very lucky to sell so quick and at your asking price. In a couple of days time, go and read a few horror stories on emigration websites of people watching their visas expire because they cant sell. Puts things in perspective. Huge congrats, its nice that you could tick this biggie off the list.

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I know how you feel, but rest assured, you will rebuild that life on this side, may take a bit of time, but it will happen!

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think some time ago when you got your visa grant and were going through the " finally I'm at the end of this difficult road" emotions I did mention that this was just the start. I know how you are feeling. I remember the day we drove away from our little home in Namibia, granted it wasn't ours, but it was a home filled with memories.... I felt sad but excited and slightly scared of what lay ahead.

You hit the nail on the head when you said that you said goodbye to the predictable, certain future you had planned. Ours was similar, living from month to month, hoping to get a break that would put us slightly ahead, and worrying about what future my kids would have.

The difference with Australia, and I found this out pretty early after we arrived, is that there is always hope here, always opportunity. You might start out with nothing, like we did, but the only way is up, not down.

I would say that getting your visa is actually only a very small step in the process, that's why I urge people to break the migration process up into doable chunks, otherwise it can get overwhelming....... In fact sometimes it is simply a one foot in front of the other process.....but eventually you do get there.

There will still be hard times ( and good) ahead, but hold onto the thought of the effort and guts you have taken to drive this process, know that your intentions and hopes for the future are well placed.

Your little girl will thank you one day.

You are a lovely family and I can see a good future for you all here.

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

:hug: Ek verstaan.... dit is nie maklik nie. Dit is nodig om te "mourn" - maar hou in gedagte dat 'n splinternuwe blink (veiliger) toekoms vir julle hier wag en probeer uitsien om nuwe memories hier te kom maak :ilikeit: :ilikeit: :ilikeit:
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Congrats on the sale of your house, and good luck with the next step.

I know how you feel. I have had many conflicting emotions about the house sellling. You are excited when someone phones and say they want to view the house, but the moment you see that the really like the house you start feeling (well I did) like you dont want to sell anymore (because it's mine dammit! ;)

Its such a rollercoaster of conflict and different emotions, I think we all have a little Melbourne in us :)

I hope that everything goes through and that your journey starts with the making of new memories

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If you treat it as an adventure it helps, I think.

Don't look at it as the end, but as the beginning of something new.

I'm sure kids didn't enjoy being born either, but once thet're squeezed out there's a whole world to explore.

Whoosh - a whole month's cliches in one place. ;)

All of them true, BTW. You may not believe it now but in 6 month's time you'll be saying "Y'know, Sheila ('coz your name will be Sheila by then), wise old OubaasDik was right".

Actually I do have an inkling how you feel but, just as you didn't know the series of emotions you'd have AFTER getting the visa, you have to work through them yourself now. Remember the hard part is done. Now it's just cleaning up.

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oops' in my previous post I was actually replying to HEOJ......I thought he had posted. i only clicked when OBD said your name will be Sheila by then, and of course HEOJ will be Bruce. Honestly, you guys are so made for here.

You have all of us here to help you through the emotions...hugs

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oops' in my previous post I was actually replying to HEOJ......I thought he had posted. i only clicked when OBD said your name will be Sheila by then, and of course HEOJ will be Bruce. Honestly, you guys are so made for here.

You have all of us here to help you through the emotions...hugs

I only clicked after reading this post :blush-anim-cl:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you for your support, guys. I feel better today.

@Fish and Andrea: Years ago SABC1's TV channel had a slogan "Simunye. We are one". I often use it when people talk about my hubby and I. Unfortunately I give away my age when I do because most people just look at me with a blank facial expression when I say it (Kinda like...you had to be there :blush: ). So, even though your advice was aimed at HEOJJ it is greatly appreciated by OYBR :D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Be strong, you are on a much bigger road to much bigger things!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Without wanting to upset you, I guess you know you might always miss some parts of your old life. No country is all things to all people and almost every place I have been has lovely things about it worth missing.

As we all know we can't have everything and I guess all we really do is weigh up what has the most good over bad for our circumstances...usually hoping we will gain more than we lose but accepting that loss is still involved.

Sorry, I'm probably just stating the obvious when all you really need is a hug :)

Edited by Fish
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Lees net die Beeld, dan besef jy gou weer dat hierdie "gedwonge" besluit die regte een is... Sterkte!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

O ja, ek dink die rede waarom ons so geheg is aan ons huise, is omdat dit ons eie klein eilande is in 'n stormagtige "buitekant", waarbinne ons onsself veilig laat voel. Ek hoop dat ons eiland in Australie sal groter wees en nie beperk tot die 4 mure van ons huise nie...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you for your support, guys. I feel better today.

@Fish and Andrea: Years ago SABC1's TV channel had a slogan "Simunye. We are one". I often use it when people talk about my hubby and I. Unfortunately I give away my age when I do because most people just look at me with a blank facial exp<b></b>ression when I say it (Kinda like...you had to be there :blush: ). So, even though your advice was aimed at HEOJJ it is greatly appreciated by OYBR :D

Hahaha.....I remember that, and " Goeie More Suid Afrika" .....see that is the wonderful thing about memories, they stay with you and put a smile on your face. The great thing about making a big move like this is that you get to make even more memories.

Here's an idea, why not make " Simunye" your secret word for you and hubby. Any time either of you are feeling overwhelmed or when you get here and everything is a blur of new experiences ( as in those first days when you are frantically trying to set up bank accounts, get a house etc)... You can just look at each other and say " Simunye" and know that you are both in this together, united.

Edited by AndreaL
  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Andrea, what a wonderful bit of advice, my compliments to you!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...