Great To Be Home!

[MrsMupersan]

As I write this, I am on the train from Sydney to Canberra - the last leg in my rather long journey home after a visit to Cape Town to visit my mom. I thought I'd write this post while its all fresh in my mind.

The journey...

It is always a dilema for me. The need to make the trip long enough to justify the cost of the ticket and the schlepp of the journey. I really didn't want to make the trip any longer than 2 weeks. It was too long. I won't go for longer than 10 days next time. As you know, I was a very reluctant traveller - this was a real duty visit. But a very worthwhile visit. I spent some real quality time with my mom. We got to discuss the nasty, necessary stuff which comes with living so far away. Things like death, cremation wishes, living will wishes, organ donation, where to find her essential documents, what her financial situation is and how she wants to live out her days. We discussed whether or not to put in a parental visa application. All the nitty gritty stuff. My brother is on his way to visit her this week and she will sit him down and have a similar discussion. Not an easy conversation, but a necessary one. This conversation alone, initiated by my mom, was worth the price of the ticket alone.

I also got to sit her down and explain, in the kindest possible way, that I would not be visiting any more frequently than every four years. That we really want to find a balance between exploring new places and going back to SA to see family. She's also open to the idea of meeting us on one of our holidays and get to see a place she hasn't before. Unfortunately she's really hooked on Europe... At the moment that's out of our price range, but it may not be in years to come. But for now, she'll plan her Aus visits to inbetween our visits so we'll see each other at least every two years.

People to see...

I can honestly say that, after 4 years away, I only have 1 friend left in CT who I will make contact with on any future trips I plan. I made contact with several old friends and only two bothered to see me. The one couple are the kind of friends where we will see each other after years and just pick up where we left off - its an easy friendship with no demands or expectations.

The other one who made contact ended up being a disaster! Crikey! A friend of many years. We'd been close friends through his 1st divorce, his second marriage and then his 2nd divorce. I'd been his confidante, his best friend, his lover for a brief period, maid of honour to his 2nd wife, executor of his & his now ex-wife's will. But he was the surprise when we announced our intention to immigrate - he was the cynical one. The one who was angry (I suspect because he was jealous of our courage to do so as he had had several opportunities to but wasn't brave enough to take the plunge) and pulled away from us before we even left. But he seemed quite keen to get together for a catch up. It was 1,5 hrs of sheer agony! I didn't get a word in edgeways! He talked non-stop about his love life - name dropping some hot CT performers he'd loved & lost. About his business dealings - once again name dropping top companies he's got consulting work with. Acronyms, name dropping and the bottom line. That's about it. He once asked me how I was enjoying Aus. I started to answer that I was loving it, when he butted in that he'd hate to live in such a nanny country with all it's rules where he wouldn't be able to ride his bike at 280km if he wanted to. I made my excuses as early as was polite and got the hell outta there! Phew! What a shocker! I doubt he even noticed my yawning and the glazed look in my eye - was so self absorbed. LOL!

Spending time with my gramps and gran who are both in their 90's was priceless! Saying goodbye was hard - I'm not sure if they'll be alive in four years' time.

For the most part, the people I saw were friends of my mom's who I have grown up around. Essentially my mom made plans with all her really good friends - the ones who have really been there for her since my dad passed away two years ago. They're wonderful people and I don't begrudge Mom or them any of the time spent on those visits. But I have to say that I did start to feel like I was being paraded about a bit. But it made my mom happy and that's what this trip was all about - making her happy. With both kids in Aus and her best friend in the whole world (my dad) taken from her way too early, it really was a small ask on my part. Keeping the real reason for the visit in the front of my mind made my reluctance at returning to South Africa tolerable.

Returning to Cape Town...

My memory didn't play tricks on me. The only thing I was pleasantly surprised about was predominantly friendly service at Canal Walk. Other than that, I found the usual surly, beligerent attitude from the checkout staff at Pick 'n Pay, Spar and Woolies. I was horrified by the cost of simple things at the supermarket. R72 for a pack of toilet rolls and a bottle of soda water - I nearly fell over backwards!!!

I really battled with the safety and security aspect. I didn't just slip back into clutching my handbag, locking doors and looking over my shoulder. I battled to remember to check my mirrors and look over my shoulder while stopped alone at night at traffic lights. It was only after I'd driven off that I remembered that I probably should be more aware. It just didn't come naturally anymore. It's no longer part of what my being. What used to be my natural instincts just completely failed to kick in at all. I remember that when I first landed in Sydney 4 yrs ago, I instantly relaxed and didn't feel any residual fear or jumpiness. It was like my entire being relaxed and felt that this was how life is supposed to be lived - I'd finally come home after living in an alien world for the first 36 years of my life. :-)

To sum up...

It was a worthwhile trip as far as family is concerned. But, man, is it good to be home! :-)

[Springjock]

Great post!

[Heymanse]

Glad to hear that you are safe home (well, almost that is). A smile came to my face as I read your post and your experience of the "duty visit" which is the way I see my future visits to family in SA as well. But I nearly fainted when I got to the part where you paid R72 for toilet paper & soda. Getting way too expensive to go to the loo in SA these days it seems :)

[MrsMupersan]

Heymanse, it was R89 for the toilet paper! I joked with my mom that it'd be cheaper to use R10 notes! :-)

[Gizmo]

It sounds like you have arrived at a very comfortable closure re your immigration journey!

We also left in 2008, but at the end of the year. I'd be very interested to hear some more prices of things - the price of loo paper is seriously shocking!

[Erik]

In the last year or so, the prices have seriously sky-rocketed

Me and the wife could have done a whole months shopping for R800 with luxuries like wine (8 bottles) it was just over R1000 one month.

Recently we have THE LIST and try and stick to it religiously - we never get away cheaper than R1400 these days.

I've checked the slips the last to months and on the long list of things there is usually only two or three things that are under R20.

Seriously shocking.

[AllisonW]

Glad you are home safely.

[Springjock]

Erik, you'll pay R1400 for a meal for two in a restaurant here!

[Erik]

@Springjock

I understand that completely, we paid R320 for a dinner for two the other day - but we do that once a month if that. Groceries are a necessity, eating out is not

[Donovan83]

Where on earth are you eating for R 1400 for two?!

But yes - the cost of stuff is expensive. VERY expensive... our petrol is more expensive than even Australia, and actually when I was in Perth (an apparently very expensive city even by Australian standards) I actually found things quite affordable compared to when I first went, even with the exchange rate moving from R6:$1 to R8:$.

[candivw]

Welcome home great post

[Orion25]

Welcome home and thank you so much for your very honest post.

Hope to catch up at the Triple C later this month

[blondiejhb]

Welcome home. Hopefully 4 weeks from today we will be arriving in Sydney.

[Cramer]

Glad you made it back safe!

[joweni]

We are on our way back to SA for our duty visit after Xmas. Not really looking forward to it but it has to be done. We have decided that instead of staying with my brother in law and his wife we are going to book a place to stay nearby so we can pretend we are having a PROPER holiday and enjoy the sun and the sea. Will also fly off to Vic Falls for a weekend to see my brother but like Mrs Mupersan we badly want to do some other travel so at the end of 2013 we have promised ourselves a visit to New Zealand !! YAY

[Madelein]

I went on holidays to South Africa Nov/Dec last year and I was pleasantly surprised. Although not catching up with friends, I did not have enough time in the 6 weeks I was there. It was a busy six weeks and I was so tired on my return, I needed a holiday.

Landed in Stellenbosh, loved Neethlingshof wine-tasting and lunch with my youngest sister which kicked-off my holiday. I brought the "Maria" with me, for a special occasion.

I surprised my older sister by turning up a few days earlier and we had a ball of a time (I am the one in the middle...) Went to Ceres, picking cherries, all at reasonable cost. Lunch for 5 people were R650 at Tolbos in Bainskloof, and I had my favourite JC Le Roux fizzy wine. If I had to buy the food on the menu here, it would have cost me 4 x more.

A decent breakfast at the Spur was R20, for the same in Oz I will pay R56.

I have found all of the South Africans in a very good, friendly spirit. Much more in a positve way than with my visit in March 2008.

I also found the food prices very steep, but converting it to AU$, it would have worked out either the same, or little bit cheaper. Just depending on where you shop. P & P is outragous with their prices, lot cheaper at Checkers. Yeah, toiletpaper prices is shocking. I paid R65 for 24 rolls. Here we pay R58 for 32.

Took my mom on a 14 day trip - flown to Durban and drove all the way back to Stellenbosch. Most of the hotels/B&B's has breakfast included, did not have to cook anything. Wining and dining was great.

My favourite places I visited during this trip: Umdloti, Ushaka in Durban, Golden Gate National Park, Addo National Park, and the very best: Mossel Bay (almost felt I'm back home).

Petrol is a lot cheaper, I rented a car for 14 days for $500 - all inclusive and the car was brand new. I spent most of the time in Hermanus, wow! The place has erupted into paradise, I loved every minute of it and being with my family was priceless.

I also lost a family member during the 2nd week of my trip and I was glad I was there to support other relatives, being supported by them through this sad time. Due to this, I made a promise to myself to go to South Africa every year during Christmas/New year. Yep, I am planning my next trip.

Tips: Only pay with a debit card, exchange rate is excellent (you can use this as credit card in SA)

If you have to take cash, get it from Australia Post Currency Exchange, they hardly have any surcharges and best exchange rate.

Plan carefully, shop around for the best price. If you fill in accommodation enquiries, make sure you use a South African Address and give them a family member phone no. Once they see your'e from

overseas, they will charge you more.

Only downfall of my trip: I almost didn't come back and I can't shake the 7kg I've put on.

[Eto]

Hi Madelein,

Really enjoyed reading your mail. We returned in 2008 and really enjoy having family and friends around us. However, in time we will probably have to pack and return as well, but until then we will make the most of having friends and family around.

Take care

Et

[Keglin]

Glad you got back safe and sound.

Keglin