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From Speechles To Emotional/stressed


Wanda

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Hi All

I never thought I was the emotional type, but I can tell you the last few days proved me wrong!

I have read this forum back to front and read so many people saying you should write down why you are leaving otherwise you forget. Offcourse - me knowing better :grads: - thought 'How could you possibly forget why you are leaving!' Well let me tell you, when the days are short you focus more on the things that's great and that you love as to the reasons you are leaving.

I wrote a whole A4 page on this forum yesterday stating all the bad things like hijackings, robberies, shooting etc that has happened to my direct and indirect family, just as well I lost my connection just as I was trying to post it and then didn't know how to retrieve it :angry2: . After that however, I was reminded and felt better! Did not have the energy to vent again :) .

Our days here are short and we have just sold our house (but council lost plans - and now we have to pay (a fortune) for new one's as new owners wants it. This means no sale until after we leave!). The people we selling business too drew up a joke of a contract and now we have to pay lawyers to draw up proper contract (so now handover etc going on until day before we leave!). STRESS STRESS STRESS.

I am feeling anxious and hope we can sort everything out on that side (money wise because off house transfer not thru etc...). I hope I remember everything, cancel everything, give notice etc etc etc . I am sure everyone that has done this before is probably laughing now.

I wish we were on the plane already so I can just say 'what's done is done - what's not is not!'.

Anyway we have set the date now for 21 April - or available flights on or after that date. Now everything must just come together.. I know in a couple of years we will laugh too thinking back on all this.

Oh well - thanks for listening (or reading ) hope I didn't :yawn: you all to death.

Wanda

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Hi Wanda

I hope that things work out for you. Everyone has something they worry about (albeit different things at different stress levels). At this stage we are worried that our appointed agents are not taking us for a ride and that I (a teacher) will be able to get a state sponsorship so that we can GO in the FIRST place! This is costing us a fortune and our financial state at the moment is dismal!

Look at the bright side... YOU'LL BE LEAVING SOON!!! Things will not always be rosy, but I am sure in the end everyhting will work out fine.

Good luck to you!

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Hi Wanda, I have not posted for ages but your post brought back memories.....I left SA 7 years ago but I can remember so clearly the things you are going through! Our decision to go came after a hijacking on the 26th March 2004 (will never forget!) by November my husband was in Ireland and I was going through all the trauma of packing, selling my business, renting out the house , putting stuff into storage, too scared to stay in the house by myself, sleeping at my sister's house, and wondering if you will ever get things done. You are also trying to spend time with friends, spend quality time with family and the stress is phenomenal!I also had my husband on skype every night, wanting to talk - he was lonely too and my daughter of 5 was feeling the upheaval.

As my departure date approached I still seemed to have so much to do but although it was suggested I delay it, I would not, as I think in my mind I was so stressed that I did not care if everything was not done, I just wanted it to be over.Getting on the plane was a relief and thank God, the most important things were done! Be prepared , you might find the same when you arrive.... I think because I has been so busy, when I arrived every thing hit me, I did not have time to consider lots of the issues re leaving while I was still there, and I was very lonely for home and lost when I first landed!! All the "have we done the right thing" questions etc, but we did and I would never go back. You are making the right decision although you might doubt yourself now. good luck!!

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I wish we were on the plane already so I can just say 'what's done is done - what's not is not!'

That's the thing: you can plan it all you want, there will be something you forgot, did not think of, did not manage to finalise or that someone else screws up! You can not wreck your brain over it or worry yourself to a standstill about all the "what if"s. When we moved to Australia, the moving company said it was the best planned move they've ever been involved in - and STILL there were things we did not think of and had to deal with afterwards. Half the stuff you plan and half the stuff you worry about, never happens, so just do the best you can and take everything in your stride. The only way to eat an elephant is bite for bite. Ask yourself: what's the WORSE that can happen? And see if you'll be able/willing to deal with it, then take a step back and relax.

About the emotions, well, all I can say is: it is absolutely NORMAL! You will doubt your decision, second guess yourself, see hidden messages in everything which happens (maybe this is a sign we should/should not go...), cry your eyes out, get frustrated, want to hit the hat off the next person you see, throw a tantrum in SPAR or at the council offices, have sleepless nights over guilt... Don't let it get to you. It's all part of the experience! Stand strong and know that you're a survivor - you can DO it!

Good luck with everything. Just go with the flow - you'll be OK :ilikeit:

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As my departure date approached I still seemed to have so much to do but although it was suggested I delay it, I would not, as I think in my mind I was so stressed that I did not care if everything was not done, I just wanted it to be over.Getting on the plane was a relief and thank God, the most important things were done!

Jen, I sooo relate to this - I am a pretty calm person (or so everyone around me says :rolleyes: ). However I just really do want this to be over and dusted. My problem is I plan too much - down to the point to whether or not my boys will have enough socks to wear the first year there !!! I want to get there and start my new - not have to look over your shoulder ' life, get over all the initial ups and down and be able to write to others on the forum and say 'this too shall pass!' .

Thanks for posting - I wish I was 7 years down the line (or maybe :closedeyes: not my baby will be nearly 8 then :cry: and my oldest nearly 14).

Wanda

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Ask yourself: what's the WORSE that can happen? And see if you'll be able/willing to deal with it, then take a step back and relax.

Riekie - don't even start with that - I can really dream up worse scenario's and plan around them :blush-anim-cl: . God willing none of that will happen - except maybe the container going down to the bottom of the ocean and I can buy all new stuff :ilikeit: ! Thanks for the encouragment. Wanda

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Hi Wanda

It is such a stressful situation that we have all been in and feel your pain. We struggled to sell our house and it was costing us a fortune with bad tenants etc.. Anyway, we have finally found a buyer and it is in the process of being transferred.. It was a huge concern for us when we were in SA but now it has been put on the back seat and I am just hoping that everything works out as soon as possible since we have been here since January already! Try not to stress too much.. I know it is easier said than done but these things will all sort themselves out sooner or later.

The feeling of wondering if you are going to forget about something is one that I can still share with you! Still plenty of loose ends to tie up and even telephone bills arriving (due to delay in system in Swaziland!!!!!) and they don't even have internet banking so can't even pay them that way! There is always something.

Once you arrive here you will appreciate how efficient everything is and how well systems work.. I'm a lot less stressed simply by not having hassles of sorting out other peoples mistakes... Haaaaa. Not long now and you can breathe a sigh of relief.. Just keep at it just a little bit longer...

Cheers for now.

Charms

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