Interesting thread on SACanada

[Cindylou]

I was so interested in this thread on our sister site SACanada about children visiting SA.

[calibrated]

i didnt know 17, 21 and 25 years olds counted as children

and i find it sad how the parents couldnt wait to be proved right, and feared being proved wrong about their move.almost like then needed feel like the move was justified again.

im going back in 2 weeks, and i cant wait.

[Cindylou]

i didnt know 17, 21 and 25 years olds counted as children

A definition of children - offspring ..... I'm not sure how chuffed I'd be if my mother denied having any children simply because I'm now in my forties.

and i find it sad how the parents couldnt wait to be proved right, and feared being proved wrong about their move.almost like then needed feel like the move was justified again.

Calibrated, I understand exactly how worried the parents would be - most parents are concerned about the impact their choices have on their children, most parents who take their children from SA to another country feel guilt about what they are denying their offspring and their remaining relatives. So, yes, they do like to "be proved right" and no, I don't think it's sad at all - I think it's sad that you can't recognise it for what it is: gratitude that their offspring appreciate and are grateful for the sacrifices and choices the parents made

im going back in 2 weeks, and i cant wait.

I hope you have a great trip!

[Legalbuff]

Thanks C for that interesting thread.

I don't even HAVE children (offspring) yet and I can appreciate the relevance on this thread.

I think it's really great that people adapt and move on. It's what life is all about, no??

[Mara]

I can also understand their dilemma, I have adult children and I would have been devastated if either of them had decided to return to SA. Fortunately there is absolutely no chance of that happening, they are settled and love their respective lives in NZ and Aus.

Calibrated, for parents, children remain children, regardless of their age. I guess you do not have any kids and that is why you have no understanding of the situation!

[polly]

Thanks a lot for the posting. Really helps.

[calibrated]

Calibrated, for parents, children remain children, regardless of their age. I guess you do not have any kids and that is why you have no understanding of the situation!

yes i am aware of that. just that the thread title is misleading. maybe "young adults visiting SA" would be more appropriate. no i dont have any kids yet, but i do understand the situation

[Cindylou]

The focus of the thread on SA Canada is about parents reporting on their childrens' SA visits, not about young adults visiting another country! Sorry if you don't like the title, but it would appear that your original chirp was even more misleading....

[Cramer]

and i find it sad how the parents couldnt wait to be proved right, and feared being proved wrong about their move.almost like then needed feel like the move was justified again.

Are we not all trying to Justify the move, after all we are not leaving because we hate SA we are leaving because everything we love and hold so dear is being stripped away and we dont want to end up Hating it.

Oops did I just Justify......Oh well

[MonicaH]

Thanks for this posting.

It really gives me hope that I am doing the right thing. Must say at this stage this is the only thing that still bother me.

My daughter is a bit apprehensive about the move, and reading this makes me feel a bit better, knowing that in the long run it will all be for the best.

[Navigator]

I read through the thread on the SACanada forum. Reading an article like that just goes to show how much we've been brainwashed in South Africa to accept the murder, hijacking, corruption, armed response, electrical fencing, etc, etc as part of "normal" life. I don't want my son growing up behind electrical fences, burglar bars, and the like. I want him to grow up the way I did, without a care in the world when he wants to go outside to play.

[HansaPlease]

i didnt know 17, 21 and 25 years olds counted as children

and i find it sad how the parents couldnt wait to be proved right, and feared being proved wrong about their move.almost like then needed feel like the move was justified again.

im going back in 2 weeks, and i cant wait.

Human nature I guess. Most would dread to think that their kids might blame them for making the wrong choice in their eyes. And I think that the father is also looking for a bit of closure within himself that he made the right move.

Myself and my brother and sister are 29, 35 and 36 - we're all still my parent's children, and never too old for a hiding. Okay, maybe that's an exaggeration.