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Immigration Jokes


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PRETORIA. Various organizations trying to lure young professionals back to South Africa say they are seeing thousands of people coming back to the country. "Mostly it's because they forgot to switch off the oven before they left," said a spokesman. "Others remember they didn't leave out chunks for the cat. And quite a few have come to fetch their maid." (Some emigres however who forgot to switch off their ovens canceled their trips when they read about Eskom load shedding)

This immigrating Saffer was arriving Perth International Airport full of hope for the future. Everything however did not go as well as he planned as he was cornered by a rather gruff customs officer. "What is your business in Australia" he asked impolitely. The Saffer replied: "Geez bru, I wish to immigrate". Upon which the officer asked: "Do you have a criminal record". Stunned and crestfallen the Saffer replied: "Geez bru I did not realize you still needed one!"

And from the US:

"The liberals are saying that this guest worker program ... is really just a way to depress wages and create a permanent underclass of exploited labor. To which the President said, 'And the problem is?'"

"The Senate has passed a resolution to make English the official language of the United States. Today President Bush said this is the 'goodest news' he's heard in a long time." --Jay Leno

"The Senate voted to make English the national language of the United States. The vote drew protests from several immigrant groups and one governor of California." --Conan O'Brien

"Attorney General Alberto Gonzales says he's not sure if his grandparents entered the United States legally. As a result, President Bush has sent the entire Gonzales family back to Ireland." --Conan O'Brien

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Here's a good reason NOT to emigrate to Australia:

"I'd rather be shot in my own bed in SA than have to make my own bed in Australia" :wacko:

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