Biker Posted June 3, 2008 Report Share Posted June 3, 2008 (edited) Officials of the New South African government have come to realise thatthe current status of having 11 official languages in the New SouthAfrica is impractical. A new language was thus introduced. This isthe English as it is now spoken on television and radio. The recentlypublished New Suth Effrican Deekshunry defines these new weds. Here are someextracts and examples of their usage in the official New Suth Effricanlungwich:Bad - you sleep on it in the badroomBeds - mossies, doves, etcBeg - container, as in shopping beg, hand-beg, tog-begBen - to set alightChealdren - our future is in their handsChetz - where worshippers go on SundaysCuds - you can play poker or rummy with themCut - a small donkey-drawn vehicleDebben - city in KZNDeekshunry - where you find wedsDetty - opposite of cleanDie'llas - as in drug die'llas or wee-pon die'llasDriva - holds the steering wheel of a teksiDuck - very duck at night when the lights are all offEbben - you get ebben erriors and rural erriorsEffrican - from the continent of AfricaErriors - districts, e.g. ebbon erriorsEwways - eg. SAA, ComairFems - companies, e.g., Anglo-AmericanFest - the one before second and thirdFok - used with nifesFum - you can fum with ship or kettleFumma - he owns the fumGuddin - where you grow kebbijeesGeave - you MUST geave, I WILL takeGet - a hinged device in a fenceHair - as opposed to heemHeppi - state of elatement, e.g. I'm so heppi - I just votedHiss - masculine form of hairsHubba - where sheeps dockItch - as in itch and avairy pessonJems - little bugs that give you the fluKah - what you drive around inKennel - ummy officerKebbijees - vegetableKeptown - some think parliament doesn't belong thereKettegry - in a system of classification *Edited version* KetAgoryKipper - one who kips, as in goal kipperKleenix - where nesses weckKot - where the judges sitLen - to acquire knowledgeLeeda - as in Arwa Leeda, the presidentLungwich - weds what are spokkinMick - those that will inherit the ethMiening - what is the miening of this attack?Nesses - they weck in kleenix and hospitalsPee pull - powa to da pee pullPeppa - one way to get the newsPesson - one of pee pullPhlegm - the benning top of a kendalPees - symbolised by white dovePees-Tox - between IRA and John MajorReeva - e.g. Limpopo, Vaal, OrangeRegime - anything to describe pre-1994Ree kwest - replaced by dee mandsRent - N/A - word obsoleteScotched Eth - guerilla tacticSheep - big boatShex - houses in squatter campsShip - provider of wool of Peppa - something to write onShuck-attak - if the shuck-net is brokkinShuck-nets - at Debben, for safety of sweamasSpitch - what politicians make at a rellySuth - opposite of NorthSweamas - compete in a sweaming pulTeps - solvent to thin enamel paintTeck - see geaveTeksi - kah for hire - sometimes parrot teksiTenning point - the "top" of a parabolaThest - ice cold Coke will relieve it on a hot dayTipic ally - characteristicTocks - negotiationsUfrican - pertaining to UfricaUmmy - military forceWee men - ladiesWe pon - a gunWean-dow - with glus for throwing bricks throughWeaned - Gone with the WeanedWeaner - the one with the most votesWeckliss - the unemployed pee-pullWeds - what the dictionary is made up ofWekkas - do the weckWeld - the ethWems - small crawly creaturesWeth - she is weth her weight in gold. Edited June 4, 2008 by Biker Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
No Worries Mate Posted June 3, 2008 Report Share Posted June 3, 2008 Holy crap...I understood all of those. I spek da lenguage. Eish! Good one! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Biltongboer Posted June 3, 2008 Report Share Posted June 3, 2008 Hopefully they will ask these in the new IELTS tests!Around here, we hear one word a lot, whenever they give us the wheather forecast:"Thea wiel bie FOK petches at the coast..." (there will be fog patches...) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GerhardinOz Posted June 3, 2008 Report Share Posted June 3, 2008 Do you have to sit a test similar to IELTS for this language if you want immigrate to this country or visit? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beadan Posted June 3, 2008 Report Share Posted June 3, 2008 Do you have to sit a test similar to IELTS for this language if you want immigrate to this country or visit?No, you have to be black and have a criminal record, then you don't have to do the IELTS, they just let you in, hand you my passport with another man's pic on it, your ID with another man's pic on it, another guy on this forum's car and set him off with a list of leads where he can receive a farm, house or we pan. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Biltongboer Posted June 3, 2008 Report Share Posted June 3, 2008 No, you have to be black and have a criminal record, then you don't have to do the IELTS, they just let you in, hand you my passport with another man's pic on it, your ID with another man's pic on it, another guy on this forum's car and set him off with a list of leads where he can receive a farm, house or we pan. And three weeks later they beat the daylights out of you, burn down your house and your shop, and tell you to get the hell out before they kill you... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huisvrouki Posted June 3, 2008 Report Share Posted June 3, 2008 And three weeks later they beat the daylights out of you, burn down your house and your shop, and tell you to get the hell out before they kill you... An by doing this they just know that all the other 'unwelcome migrants' (you know, those who have over stayed their visit with more than 350 years) will leave as well!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest natalie3 Posted June 3, 2008 Report Share Posted June 3, 2008 You forgot "beeeeeech"//"my teacher is a real beeeeech"and she makes me really "sked" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Biker Posted June 4, 2008 Author Report Share Posted June 4, 2008 If you are a foreigner and illegaly in SA for more than 5 years you can now automatically qualify for SA citizenship.(Maybe dodging the very efficient system we have for at least five years is proof your survival 'skills' and we all know how you need those in this country!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milo Posted June 4, 2008 Report Share Posted June 4, 2008 I couldn't understand the meaning of some words at first, but then I started reading with 'the accent' and voila, my vocabulary improved!!A correction if I may please? It's not kettegry but ketAguryand another one : sirkUmstinsis - the situation we're in now due to 1994 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheila2oz Posted June 4, 2008 Report Share Posted June 4, 2008 Waiters at Spur do you want CHEEPS with your food. Just after we landed here, i battled to understand the people here, but i guess you get used to it. Like in SA you are so use to Eish i dont know. Cheers vir eersSheila2Oz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Biker Posted June 4, 2008 Author Report Share Posted June 4, 2008 KetAgory is probably the word that irks me most. Not sure why I get so worked up by it, Rooinek is not even my home language (yet) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FLockie Posted June 4, 2008 Report Share Posted June 4, 2008 My all time favouriteAFF II DAR VEED - Affidavit"how, the affiidarveed is not in the file, I put it there just now" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Biltongboer Posted June 8, 2008 Report Share Posted June 8, 2008 My all time favouriteAFF II DAR VEED - Affidavit"how, the affiidarveed is not in the file, I put it there just now"electricity - elektrie-seatyEvery fo yeahs we have National erections Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimmyC Posted June 8, 2008 Report Share Posted June 8, 2008 My skoonma is 'n lektor by 'n onderwyskollege. So 'n ppar jaar gelede toe kom een van die studente na haar toe. Die vra toe of my skoonma nie 'n paar prentjies vir haar in die hande kan kry nie (een of ander projek wat sy moet indien by 'n ander lektor). Sy soek toe foto's van "a plane, a lorrie, a car, a train and a sheep". My arme skoonma kon glad nie verstaan waar die skapie in pas nie en vra toe ook nie uit nie. Sy werk mos immers met intelligente mense. Toe die student uiteindellik die prentjies kom haal het die volgende dag toe kon sy nie verstaan wat maak die skaap daar nie. " But Mieess I asked for a sheep" "But I gave you a photo of a sheep"" No Miess a sheep".Nou ja, wat kan mens doen? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colling-vrou Posted June 8, 2008 Report Share Posted June 8, 2008 .... and "Tiecha"... sumwun who tiechas Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zorba Posted June 9, 2008 Report Share Posted June 9, 2008 No, you have to be black and have a criminal record, then you don't have to do the IELTS, they just let you in, hand you my passport with another man's pic on it, your ID with another man's pic on it, another guy on this forum's car and set him off with a list of leads where he can receive a farm, house or we pan. Ha, Ha!! Jokes aside, we have a teacher here who wants to move to SA (to be closer to her other half - the things we do for love!). She is British and has worked in schools in the UK, the US and elsewhere in Africa. She now has to get POLICE CLEARANCE from every city she has worked in to be able to get a SA working visa!!! Isn't that rich??!! She probably won't get in because she has NO criminal record... And here they are, dishing out passports left, right and centre! BTW GREAT POST Biker! Had me in stitches this morning!zorba Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest natalie3 Posted June 9, 2008 Report Share Posted June 9, 2008 oh oh!..we all forgetting ..."leven" as in..11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Biker Posted June 11, 2008 Author Report Share Posted June 11, 2008 VITAL GUIDE TO SABC TV PRONUNCIATION IN SOUTH AFRICA Beck - not the front Beds - doves, vultures, etc. Ben - to set alight Cut - a small vehicle drawn by a donkey Errors - districts, e.g. "Ebbon errors" (urban areas) Eiys – either the things you hear with or the items you see with Feather - implies distance - Cape Town is feather than Johannesburg Guddin - around your house, where you grow plants Get - a hinged opening in a fence Hair - as opposed to him Hiss - masculine form of hairs Itch - as in "itch and aviary pairsin" Kennel - Army officer Len - to acquire knowledge Pee-Pull - Die Mense / people Phlegm - the hot part at the end of a candle Piss - symbolised by white doves Suffa-Ring - as in "the pee-pull are suffa-ring" Parrot Teksi - not a mamba of the teksi assoseshen Toks - Negotiations Weaner - the weaner takes all Wekkas - they do the wek Weld - The Earth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeaveLeft Posted June 12, 2008 Report Share Posted June 12, 2008 And what about:Prokkermint - ProcurementFokas - ForcastHad a lecturer that spoke the new official language, must say I walked out of class a couple of days without a clue !!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Biltongboer Posted June 12, 2008 Report Share Posted June 12, 2008 And what about:Prokkermint - ProcurementFokas - ForcastHad a lecturer that spoke the new official language, must say I walked out of class a couple of days without a clue !!!Akkoddieng to thee whethur fokkas, thea wheell be fok petches at the coast today. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bloubul Posted June 12, 2008 Report Share Posted June 12, 2008 Do you have to sit a test similar to IELTS for this language if you want immigrate to this country or visit?No, there is a "steel iets" test if you want to immigrate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bloubul Posted June 12, 2008 Report Share Posted June 12, 2008 "Akkoddieng to thee whethur fokkas, thea wheell be fok petches at the coast today."Don't they do that inland as well? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Biker Posted June 12, 2008 Author Report Share Posted June 12, 2008 In Namibia the fok pethces only happens at the coast (mostly)Not like in Gauteng, east rand all fokked up and the west rand have sunny skies.Same goes for the piauwah ou-teechas. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pine and Riana Pienaar Posted June 12, 2008 Report Share Posted June 12, 2008 Ongelooflik. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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