How to quickly pick up the Australian accent.

[Dana]

'Mate, a wombat raped me'

Wellington - A New Zealand man has been sentenced to community service after telling police he had been raped by a wombat and the experience had caused him to start speaking "Australian".

Arthur Cradock, a 48-year-old orchard worker from Motueka on South Island, rang police on February 11 to say he was being raped by the slow moving Australian marsupial at his home, The Nelson Mail reported.

He rang back soon afterwards to say he was withdrawing his complaint against the wombat, a court was told on Wednesday.

"Apart from speaking Australian now, I'm pretty all right you know," he told police in the second call.

Cradock pleaded guilty to using a phone for a fictitious purpose and was sentenced to 75 hours community work.

Prosecutors said alcohol played a large part in Cradock's life, although his defence lawyer said he was not drunk on the afternoon of the phone calls.

News24

[Mythryl]

I'm at a loss for words so here's some ASCII art instead

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[wislon]

words fail me too... is it too late to cancel our visa?

[Biker]

Reminds me of the story of the tortoise that got raped by a snail one night on his way home.

When they tortoise went to the police they asked him what happened. Tortoise replied that it it all happened so fast ...

[Tracy]

Mense, mense, mense....

This is a En Zed person - they are VERY different to the Aussies...

(That much I have learnt very quickly!!)

[wislon]

More on the apparently confused wombat here

[Mythryl]

Reminds me of the story of the tortoise that got raped by a snail one night on his way home.

When they tortoise went to the police they asked him what happened. Tortoise replied that it it all happened so fast ...

I hear you Tracy and can back you up 100%. I've done so many facepalm's since arriving here in Orcland that my IQ dropped 100 points

[Bob]

I'd be wondering what that bloke had had in his morning coffee??

There are no wombats in New Zealand . . . . they only exist in Australia.