Not so settled

[UnsureGC]

Hi all,

I am new to this forum and been living in Australia for 3.5 years now.

I was just wondering if there is anyone else out there considering moving back to SA? If so please tell me your story... I have been living overseas for 8 years in total now and I still miss my family and SA terribly. I have been home every year since leaving to travel so I am fully aware of everything changing and happening there.

Please don't reply to this message if you are going to try and convince me that SA is a terrible place, I just really want to hear from other people that may be feeling the same way as me and how they are dealing with it.

Look forward to hearing from you

[LeeInOz]

Thanx Mark,

My husband is feely much better but are still getting anxiety attacks at time. I suppose its normal with him not having a job yet and feeling that he, as the man in the house, should be able to provide for his family. We've been sitting here applying left right and centre for anything and everything that comes up on search for job sites.

We are a bit stressed but at this point, going back is definately not an option anymore. We'll tough it out here, everyone else has done it and gotten through it, so I suppose we can too. At least he's got 2 interviews lined up for this week and there might be a few more, who knows?

Thanks for all the uplifting posts and reply everyone! We wouldn't have made it through if it wasn't for all of the advice and guidance? Now if someone can just explain to me exactly in plain English Centrelink is and if we would be able to apply for it? I'm totally confused about this?

Thanks

Lurinda & Wicus

Hi

We came over on PR in Nov 2004. We went to Mackay becuase my brother was there. The family wanted to live there so I looked for work. I applied at all the agencies, read the paper. I had the wrong skill set to get a job I was told. Istarted applying for all sorts of jobs in any field. My logc was as follows

1 Any work i better than no work

2 At a job I would meet people and be able to move on.

In Jan I went for the first interview and was told I was unlikely to get the job because better skilled people would apply. I am in electronics T&M. I offered to help at a laser puzzle cutting place, I investigated doing an electrician apprenticeship. (found a company who would hire me as an Appy). I was offered a TV repair job. I applied to sell PC and cameras at Harvey boring. I went to centrelink to look for work (another funny story) The day before I started at $10 pm cutting puzzles, I was phoned and offered the job I was told I would not get. 3 years later I am in Brisbane doing what I am skilled at. I met others in similar situations who started at the bottom and worked their way up.

Things to remember in my opinion

1 ROME WAS NOT BUILT IN A DAY

2 GET YOUR RESUME OR CV WRITTEN IN AUSTRALIAN STYLE EITHER BY DOING RESEARCH OR BY A PROFESSIONAL

3 STAY FOCUSED, KEEP LOOKING, KEEP TALKING TO PEOPLE, ASK QUESTIONS

4 ITS NOT WHAT YOU KNOW ITS WHO YOU KNOW, GET TO KNOW MORE PEOPLE

5 DONT LET DEPRESSION STOP YOU LOOKING

As a sufferer of this I worked out my own solution. There are things you cant change, and things you can.

DOnt think aout things out of your control. Focus on things yoiu can change, and DO IT

To answer your question about centrelink. You need to be in Australia for 2 years before yuO can claim for dole.

You are able to get centre link for RENTAL assistance child support etc from day one as a PR. Check their website or go there.

Centrelink has jobs on offer on a computer system

I dicovered teh job I got by talking to peolpe and met an Electrician (RSA migrant) who said he would look out. Someone resigned and he phoned me.

I moved to Brisbane becuase i talked to people who wanted me there.

Good luck

[LeeInOz]

A question for those in OZ.

How have the Aussies accepted all the South Africans over there?Have you managed to integrate pretty well?

Plus,are there any other deep problems that the aussies face or have to deal with in their politics?Are they not struggling with a huge influx of people from Asia?How they dealing with that?

I know no country is perfect hence my questions above.

Feel free to list any other things that come to mind.

Thanks

Patrick

I thought Aus was great since arriving

It has problems

Foreign debt is high

Suicide is very high ( not made public)

Drugs is a big problem (many have cash to burn)

Lack of skills and a big population (hence active migration programmes)

Over regulation of everything (In my opinion)

[Almost Aussie]

Over regulation of everything (In my opinion)

Ditto

[Firstworld_girl]

The link below was meant as humor, but has plenty of truth about Aus. Might help on the experience sharing.

www.saaustralia.org/index.php?showtopic=14993

Thanks Almost Aussie....appreciated!

[Guest Bronwyn]

Hi Lee

Congratulations on getting back on your feet, I remember you were having a hard time before.

It goes to show it can be done

[mel55]

Dear unsuregc

I,m currently in SA and can not wait to get out.

Here all you here is murder, rape even people in parlemant are bragging on how they would kill or how blood will flow if thing do not go acourding to their likeing. I fear for my children everyday as to the number of child murders in SA has increased and is doing so daily, your child is not even save going to school, a friend of ours almost got hijacked just picking up her child from school, luckily she escaped. my sister in law got hijacked dragged from her car whilst standing at a red traffic light. We can not even take our children to the beache as even there you are not save to spend a day with your child. You have to look over your shoulder 24/7 and must be alerted even in your onw home. Here fear is all you got to konw how to do best.

And yes i do know that missing sa and family is hard,but there is nothing a visit can not cure or even a phone call home.

I really would say that any one who wants to come back myst first take a long hard reminder of why they went to oz in the first place becuase things in sa is just getting worse by the day.

mel55

Hi all,

I am new to this forum and been living in Australia for 3.5 years now.

I was just wondering if there is anyone else out there considering moving back to SA? If so please tell me your story... I have been living overseas for 8 years in total now and I still miss my family and SA terribly. I have been home every year since leaving to travel so I am fully aware of everything changing and happening there.

Please don't reply to this message if you are going to try and convince me that SA is a terrible place, I just really want to hear from other people that may be feeling the same way as me and how they are dealing with it.

Look forward to hearing from you

[lost down under]

Hi there,

Just an interesting observation on this post. It seems that there are many of us struggling to settle, more than those who care to admit. Just look at the number of views this thread has had.

This is an excellent topic. I posted a similar one and it was incredible to hear how many people rally round to help. If you are struggling to settle...use this forum. There are a lot of Saffers out there who really care and that's what this forum is about. Voice your thoughts and you'll find your spirits start to lift when you realise you are not alone!

Thanks to all of you who lifted mine

[barbs.f]

Hello everyone out there!

What an amazing site this is. I'm so hooked on reading what wveryone has to say about everything under the sun. fANTASTIC FORUM! I know where to look for honest opoinion when I decide to make my move - you certainly learn more from this site than any seminar.

Bless you all,

Barbs

[Patrick31]

This forum is really the nuts and bolts of leaving.

Basically is my life going to be better off in OZ then in SA?I think most people agree that life will be better (not easier) in OZ.

In a first world country things are much more regulated.It has its disadvantages and advantages,but mostly advantages.

For example....we all love to brag (those in SA) about how we got ourselves out a speeding fine with some lame excuse. Will it stop us speeding?No-because we have not felt the bite of the law hence all the accidents on our roads.In OZ i dont think you will bribe the cop or talk your way out of it.

What am i saying?It will be frustrating for us having to deal with a tight run country but in the long run the benefits are there.

I am a law abiding citizen so thats why i think i will have no problem with OZ.I know where i stand and i like that.I cant operate where the cops are so inconsistent with their application of the law.

There was an article where a person was out on R500 bail for murder and a person got R1000 fine for no TV license.

You reap what you sow.We sow corruption,murder,rape etc etc and reap havoc.

In the last 6 months i have heard about more and more people that i know leaving.I still say the worst is yet to come when we have to address land redistribution and believe me its coming.

Difference with us and zim is that we have 48 million people to feed whereas zim has 4 million-what a mess it will be if we have similar land reform claims.people will literally starve.

I dont even want to buy the paper because not even the worst story will shock me.We have seen and heard it all (hopefully).

[mash]

Hi guys

I'm back. I can hardly even believe that I am writing these words. Three weeks ago, on 9 July, my father was shot dead at my parents' home in Sandton. We are still reeling from the shock. I don't even know why, but I felt like I needed to mention it on this forum.

For months, probably even a year already, my sisters and I had tried to convince him to consider immigrating together with us. My idea was to get the whole family to go together, or at least aim to end up in the same country (we hadn't really decided on a place yet, it was between Europe and Oz/NZ). My dad was so determined to stay in SA, he immigrated there from Holland about 36 years ago. He loved the wide open spaces and the good weather, and he loved South Africans as people. He was only 61.

It's still too early in our trauma to make dramatic decisions, our first priority is to keep my mom safe.

Keep us in your prayers (if that's your thing).

M

[sa2auz]

Oh Mash I am sooo soo sorry, I have goose flesh and tears in my eyes just thinking of your heartbreak.

We used to live in Sandton as did my inlaws and parents, your story has really hit home. I hope that you and your family can come to a clear decision and that you can be safe wherever you choose to go.

Good Luck

[polly]

Mash, my thoughts are with your family. I know how you feel. I just want to drag everyone with me. I am so worried about my mother and sister I left behind, still staying in the same house. I am glad that you can be there for your family.

I will keep you and your family in my prayers. May you be spared any more heartache. Take care.

Lots of love and sympathy to you

[Eva]

So sorry for your loss. So hard to accept it...

I'll keep you and your family in my prayers (it's my thing) and I pray that you will find comfort.

[Julian (Jules)]

Mash - I am so sorry to hear of such tragic news. I know that no words can help to cushion the pain right now.

This is terrible to hear.

[Smartie]

MASH, I am so sorry for your loss,

Lots of love and sympathy to you all

[Megan]

Hi Mash, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. It really hit home as my Dad was also murdered in his home in kloof 11 years ago. Can't believe that it is still happening. I know exactly what you are going through. All I can say is hang in there and the first year or so will be rough but time does do a small amount of healing.We hung in there in SA for 10 years hoping that things would change but our family are all finally living here in Oz and while it is great to feel no fear in your daily living I still feel angry that we were forced to leave our comfortable easy life.

I will be thinking of you.

Megan.

[Patrick31]

hey mash,

really sorry to hear about your father.

we have the right to live free of fear of ones (and loved ones) life.

Unfortunatly that right is under fire in SA. A farmer outside East London got murdered for his cell phone about a month ago.

Its madness and does not make sense.

Patrick

[strawberry]

Thanks so much for all your replies, it�s definitely food for thought and some of your quotes actually brought tears to my eyes. A bit of my background is:

Finished school and studied for a year, I loved the idea of traveling and my parents gave me such a brilliant up bringing that I had the confidence to leave home at 20 with my boyfriend (husband now) and move to London. I was so excited to go and just live on my own... gosh what an eye opener, I was terribly homesick, we struggled financially for nearly a year to the point where we used to count our pounds every night to pay for things. What a learning curve and thank goodness we stuck it out - we grew so much and the opportunities we received from being in London were fantastic. We were able to travel all over Europe, worked on a ski resort and travelled around the US as well as save enough money to go back to SA and buy ourselves a flat in Sandton. It was a great experience...

When we went back to SA it was to get my Aus visa, my husband had perm residency from his parents and because of our situation I could get in with him as his defacto partner. It was not hard to get the visa but it cost the earth and I felt very trapped into the whole immigration thing. My husband was basically moving here with or without me... he felt he owed it to his father to at least get his citizenship as it took them many years and a lot of money to give his kids this opportunity. I completely understood this but did not want to come. I am extremely close to my family and really they are my everything I was worried if I came here I would never move back to SA eventhough we said we would... I missed so much of their lives and they missed so much of mine while I travelled that when I got home I just loved seeing them all the time.

We were home for a year and I really hoped that it would help me to want to move to Aus cos you always hear such bad things when you are away and for some reason it seems so much worse... but I didn't! I loved every minute of being there and it just made it so much harder to leave. So in a nutshell I came here with my heels dug in, I did not want to be in Aus.

For the first 2 years I was terribly depressed but actually did not know it, my family was so worried about me and I can only see now what they were seeing when they saw photo's of me... no life or happiness in my eyes. It took a tragedy of my husband being involved in a terrible bike accident where his friend was killed in front of him to get us both to a councilor to actually realise that I was very sick.

I am much better now and much happier but completely unsettled - what a contradiction I know but its the only way to explain how I feel! I wish I knew how to make myself just be happy with being here... we do have friends, its been VERY hard to make but we finally have people we click with. We joined sports clubs when we arrived but found the people a bit strange and I joined a dance class but everyone was very clicky and didn't talk to new comers. I am a very social person so this was a real struggle for me. At first we loved meeting fellow South Africans but now we avoid them like the plague cos all they do is moan about SA and why they are here and how much better it is. I don't want to talk about that all the time... it makes me very sad cos all my family is there and its just depressing.

My family desperately want us to move back so that makes its hard... our friends are all happy and do very well in SA so its a struggle, I wish they would all say DON'T COME BACK!

I am not really sure why I am telling you all this - cos no one can really help me, but me... I guess its just good to know that there are other people out there going through what I am, it sux and I wish I wasn't in this position but at the same time feel so blessed!

Hello there,

I am very curious to find out how you are doing? and what your decision is?

Good Luck

Natasha