People returning from OZ

[Dolfyntjie]

We always hear about people who are so "happy" in OZ. Do you know of people who returned to SA because they did not make it in Australia? Not all people can be 100% happy or can they? For what reason did they return? I would like to hear some stories from these people. I want to get all the facts so I know what to expect.

I am not negative, this is a big step to take and it is a long distance from SA.

[odelia]

hi there

See this thread

http://www.saaustralia.org/index.php?showtopic=7474&hl=

[Dolfyntjie]

hi there

See this thread

http://www.saaustralia.org/index.php?showtopic=7474&hl=

Thanx

[Alibaba]

Hi Dolfyntjie

I tried to send you a PM, but according to the message I sent your inbox is either full or your PM is not abled. Please have a look and let me know. I have an important message for you regarding this specific topic that I don't want to post on the forum.

Alibaba

[TYTAN]

Hi Dolfyntjie

I tried to send you a PM, but according to the message I sent your inbox is either full or your PM is not abled. Please have a look and let me know. I have an important message for you regarding this specific topic that I don't want to post on the forum.

Alibaba

Hi Alibaba

The purpose of this forum is to assit people in making immigraiton decisions. Any views or experience that you may have, would prove to be beneficial to all forumites (whether the news is positive or negative).

I would really appreciate you sharing this important info with all of us - unless it is of a very personal nature of course. Would you mind?

Thanks

Ty

PS (this will not change mt decision to go to OZ anyway)

[carla28]

I agree with Ty!

[Dolfyntjie]

Hi Dolfyntjie

I tried to send you a PM, but according to the message I sent your inbox is either full or your PM is not abled. Please have a look and let me know. I have an important message for you regarding this specific topic that I don't want to post on the forum.

Alibaba

Hi Alibaba

I realized there might be a problem with my PM, I will send an email to admin to have a look at it. I see there is a lot of people interrested in your answer. Will you find it possible to post it for other people to see as well? If not, I will send you my email address then you can mail me but for other peoples sake I will appreciate it if you could post it here, I think thers is a lot of people like me who can not decide to go or stay.

Thanx in advance.

[Guest Mauritz]

I am not negative, this is a big step to take and it is a long distance from SA.

Hi Dolfyntjie

Don't worry about the 'negatives'. I've been here for 12 years and my humble opinion regarding your question - people go back because of various reasons. The most important:

People miss a comfortable life - that is the 'servants', the cheap labour etc. It is easier to get things done in dear old Africa.

Business people go back, because it is not as easy to set up a business in this country, mainly because of the above reasons and maybe because of a very competitive market over here.

Not sure about you or others - I/we came over because we wanted a new life - not live the same life as in Azania. I found that people who seek the same lifestyle or standard of living are almost always disappointed. The whole idea (for me at least) was to leave things behind and start a brand new life - in my experience - a very interesting and amazing adventure.

Regards

[Flanker]

Hi Dolfyntjie

Don't worry about the 'negatives'. I've been here for 12 years and my humble opinion regarding your question - people go back because of various reasons. The most important:

People miss a comfortable life - that is the 'servants', the cheap labour etc. It is easier to get things done in dear old Africa.

Business people go back, because it is not as easy to set up a business in this country, mainly because of the above reasons and maybe because of a very competitive market over here.

Not sure about you or others - I/we came over because we wanted a new life - not live the same life as in Azania. I found that people who seek the same lifestyle or standard of living are almost always disappointed. The whole idea (for me at least) was to leave things behind and start a brand new life - in my experience - a very interesting and amazing adventure.

Regards

Hi Mauritz,

We're still stuck in SA but I fully agree. I had this discussion with my wife a few days ago and we both agreed that a paradigm shift is needed in the whole process. Luckily both of us grew up in typical sa homes where mowing the lawn on a Saturday or helping mom with the dishes was common practice.

Personally, we don't really have any problem doing things ourselves or even changing our lifestyle or standard of living. It boils down to one's character and willingness to succeed even if it means getting things done without a maid or gardener.

Our family will leave SA for Oz and happily slot in with Australian life. I also agree with leaving "everything SA" behind and at least try to make a positive contribution in Oz.

We've only started our process a few days ago, made contact with Fiona Carre. Our journey may still be long and tiring but we are so charged up and determined to make it work. Looking forward to an amazing yet challenging ride.

Neville

[Polyanna]

but we are so charged up and determined to make it work. Looking forward to an amazing yet challenging ride.

What a great attitude!

[Die Krugers]

And to add to Mauritz, I think lots of people miss their friends and family (support system).

[andrea d]

Hi

The first thing people in SA tell you when they hear about you wanting to go to Oz - is how many people didn't like it over there and are now back. I personally don't think that you should go over and assume that everything will be "maanskyn en rose" , but at least think positive and believe that this journey will only be what you make of it. We went on a LSD trip and liked what we saw. I comforted myself with ALL the people that we spoke to that was so positive and friendly and wonderfull (all ex South AFricans) and I keep on thinking that they are still there for a reason. We are busy with our application (also only in beginning stages) but we cannot wait for the day that we can just live freely, our kids running around without fear of "crime" , driving or walking at night without feeling scared or uptight, or even just have electricity when needed. (sorry this is not supposed to be a negative commentary but this is how I feel).

Good luck with your application

Andrea

[Nats123]

Agreed, it is what you make of it!

No one said it it just easy peasy! But if you are determined to make it work it will work!

I have friends who are now citizens and they will never come back!

To all still waiting to experience the ride of their lives (that includes me ) good luck and hang in there!

Nats

[Dolfyntjie]

Hi Dolfyntjie

Don't worry about the 'negatives'. I've been here for 12 years and my humble opinion regarding your question - people go back because of various reasons. The most important:

People miss a comfortable life - that is the 'servants', the cheap labour etc. It is easier to get things done in dear old Africa.

Business people go back, because it is not as easy to set up a business in this country, mainly because of the above reasons and maybe because of a very competitive market over here.

Not sure about you or others - I/we came over because we wanted a new life - not live the same life as in Azania. I found that people who seek the same lifestyle or standard of living are almost always disappointed. The whole idea (for me at least) was to leave things behind and start a brand new life - in my experience - a very interesting and amazing adventure.

Regards

Mauritz. Thanks for your answer. Do you have a wife and children over there? If so, how old are your children?

[Flanker]

Hi,

Whenever I need some motivation, I normally sit quietly and watch my 17-month-old boy play or sleep.

Then I try and imagine what quality of life awaits our little one in SA....well you can just imagine. This is exactly what keeps us as parents going. The second addition to our family should arrive, God willing, mid May. Add our baby-girl to the scenario and I'm even more focussed and determined.

We are doing it for our kids and I agree with Andrea, we can't wait to see our children thrive in a safe and stable environment.

Neville

[Dolfyntjie]

Personally, we don't really have any problem doing things ourselves or even changing our lifestyle or standard of living. It boils down to one's character and willingness to succeed even if it means getting things done without a maid or gardener.

Dear Neville

Yes, I think in this area our SA's are spoilt. Luckily I acted as my own maid for quite a long time before I started working again and it was then compulsory for me to get a maid. This I think will not be such a big problem. The distance from my family is going to be the worst for me , but I know my children is most important to me, that is why I will go.

Hi,

Whenever I need some motivation, I normally sit quietly and watch my 17-month-old boy play or sleep.

Then I try and imagine what quality of life awaits our little one in SA....well you can just imagine. This is exactly what keeps us as parents going. The second addition to our family should arrive, God willing, mid May. Add our baby-girl to the scenario and I'm even more focussed and determined.

We are doing it for our kids and I agree with Andrea, we can't wait to see our children thrive in a safe and stable environment.

Neville

Yes, this is why we also want to go asap. Can not see my children go through another attack by armed men. Luckily we are still ok, next time maybe not...

[Flanker]

The distance from my family is going to be the worst for me , but I know my children is most important to me, that is why I will go.

Agreed, maybe it sounds a bit cruel but our parents and grandparents lived in different circumstances. They made choices which led to certain outcomes.

This is our time and our responsibility towards our children's future is first prize.

Neville

[Milada (Ms Maritz)]

That link that was provided earlier about people returning made me sad... and worried! What if one of our family members cannot adapt and wants to return? I'm most worried about my husband and our youngest... and our eldest daughter has a boyfriend here (he is planning to start the emigration process in a year's time). So basically I am just sure of myself and my son... And then I get days that I think if I will survive!

Please don't take the following tooo serious, it's meant to be tongue-in-the-cheek! I am not lazy – most of the time I week 11-hour workdays, and then even take work home. (We have our own business). So yes, I have a maid that does my cleaning as well as my cooking. Sometimes I wonder how I will survive without her! I don’t mind cleaning, I don’t mind laundry, I don’t mind cooking (although my family will mind, because I am not very good at it!), I don’t mind washing dishes (bless the person’s sole who invented a dishwasher) – the only thing I have a problem with is IRONING! I HATE IT, I HATE IT!! So I see myself already in Australia, homesick and complaining about the ironing! But I’m sure (?) I will survive!

On a more serious note, I’ve read somewhere on this forum, I think, that you have to remember that we actually live a very wealthy life here in South Africa. If it weren’t for crime, road deaths, corruption, nowadays Eskom, and for me personally the attitude of people, then South Africa actually is a beautiful place and most of us reading here, live a good life! Then when we go over there, we live in a wooden house that half the size of our house in South Africa, drive a crappy car, the gym over there is a quarter of the size to the gym you’ve been to here, and you don’t have the status as you would have amongst your friends and colleagues.

So I think you must be ready for a whole mindset change! Like somebody pointed out – the Australians aren’t that interested in how much money you make, and how fancy your car is, etc. They just enjoy life! When we were there on holiday, we saw this gorgeous blonde girl stepping out a fancy car. Her boyfriend climbed out of this really old car, and when they kissed, we could see it was real love, no hang-ups about his car not being fancy enough!

My point is, like Mauritz, you have to change your mindset.

And Neville, I agree, this is now our time to make choices for our kids (my teenagers think they know everything anyway, and they are so excited about this whole “adventure”).

And now I’ve spent too much time writing again. I’m supposed to be working! Bye-bye!

[Nats123]

So I think you must be ready for a whole mindset change! Like somebody pointed out – the Australians aren’t that interested in how much money you make, and how fancy your car is, etc. They just enjoy life! When we were there on holiday, we saw this gorgeous blonde girl stepping out a fancy car. Her boyfriend climbed out of this really old car, and when they kissed, we could see it was real love, no hang-ups about his car not being fancy enough!

My point is, like Mauritz, you have to change your mindset.

And Neville, I agree, this is now our time to make choices for our kids (my teenagers think they know everything anyway, and they are so excited about this whole “adventure”).

And now I’ve spent too much time writing again. I’m supposed to be working! Bye-bye!

I totally agree and have to state that we KNOW life is not going to be the same but that is what we have chosen and want at the end of the day - we want to enjoy life! We have no life here in our self made prisons!

My 5c

Nats

[Goldie]

We are flying on the 13 Feb on a 457 and have no intention of coming back. We will lodge our PR as soon as possible. We have 3 children and I am paranoid here. Our oldest wants to know when she can walk to the shop on her own or ride her bike. NEVER!!!!!

We have had enough bad experiences to make us this paranoid for our kids and we long for a better life for them and for us. I am tired of hearing people say things like "well you are lucky you are still alive" or the likes.

Kids should be playing in the park or riding their bikes with friends outside. The area we are heading for seems to have lots of more older style homes with big gardens (granted they are far from fancy) and it is our dream to send them outside to play and yell for them at dinner time like we used to.

I had a half day maid once a week just to do the nitty gritty stuff. I don't iron clothes and believe me you don't have to. I had a tumble dryer for rainy days and folded straight away. If you hang clothes right and give them a good shake, I promise you you don't have to iron. Fortunately my husband is a mechanic, so he doesn't have formal wear, which may prove to be a bit more difficult.

We know it's not going to be easy so far away from family, but I agree with the person who said that we have to make our choices for our own lives and our children. We are prepared to eat beans on toast for a year whilst we are establishing ourselves (if need be) and we have tried to explain to the kids as best as we can, that there aren't going to be the luxuries they are used to (especially at first). The 2 older ones cannot wait for the freedom they have only heard of (but....we have explained that bad things happen everywhere and they still need to be careful).

We are looking forward to a bit of a challenge and to make it work. If it's in a tin shack (as mentioned in another post), then let it be.....at least we can sleep with the windows open!!!!

New home, new life, new start ....watch out here we come!!!

Candice

[benp]

OK and now 5c worth of my psychobabble

I've met few couples that came back from Oz and it appears that common thread is that they all owned/operated their own business in SA, one couple had Kwik Spar and 2 bottle stores, other owned scrapyard, etc. They all lived pretty cushy lives in SA, guy with scrap yard bought his wife brand new Merc Cabriolet for birthday. They all seem to have gone over to Oz half heartedly, almost more to prove to them selfs that life for them is better in SA than in OZ. Not to sound judgmental , but their value system revolved around flashy 4x4's and latest designer shoes. Nothing wrong with that if it rock your boat, but in OZ they felt that in a way 'downgraded' their lifestyle, so back they went.

I think, in general, professional people with skills (engineers, IT, tradesmen) seem to do much better than people I described above. Dunno why, though...

[owenss]

We are flying on the 13 Feb on a 457 and have no intention of coming back. We will lodge our PR as soon as possible. We have 3 children and I am paranoid here. Our oldest wants to know when she can walk to the shop on her own or ride her bike. NEVER!!!!!

We have had enough bad experiences to make us this paranoid for our kids and we long for a better life for them and for us. I am tired of hearing people say things like "well you are lucky you are still alive" or the likes.

Kids should be playing in the park or riding their bikes with friends outside. The area we are heading for seems to have lots of more older style homes with big gardens (granted they are far from fancy) and it is our dream to send them outside to play and yell for them at dinner time like we used to.

I had a half day maid once a week just to do the nitty gritty stuff. I don't iron clothes and believe me you don't have to. I had a tumble dryer for rainy days and folded straight away. If you hang clothes right and give them a good shake, I promise you you don't have to iron. Fortunately my husband is a mechanic, so he doesn't have formal wear, which may prove to be a bit more difficult.

We know it's not going to be easy so far away from family, but I agree with the person who said that we have to make our choices for our own lives and our children. We are prepared to eat beans on toast for a year whilst we are establishing ourselves (if need be) and we have tried to explain to the kids as best as we can, that there aren't going to be the luxuries they are used to (especially at first). The 2 older ones cannot wait for the freedom they have only heard of (but....we have explained that bad things happen everywhere and they still need to be careful).

We are looking forward to a bit of a challenge and to make it work. If it's in a tin shack (as mentioned in another post), then let it be.....at least we can sleep with the windows open!!!!

New home, new life, new start ....watch out here we come!!!

Candice

Hi Candice

I cried reading your post 'coz I feel exactly the same way.

We are doing this not only for ourselves but especially for our 2 children.My daughter,Melissa will be turning 13 this year and Luke will be turning 7 soon and all they want to do is ride their bikes in the road. Now They do go out occasionally when we go out for a walk ,but that is it .They are dying to be independant and to do things We speak about when we were kids.

I dont even allow them to walk to the Spar on their own ,and we are just 700m away and on a straight road too.So ,Yes my kids cant wait and there excitement is getting the better of them.

Hope your life in Aus will be so much more than you expected.To be able to watch your children grow up feeling safe must be the most awesome feeling...for them and yourselves.

Lovies Eileen

[Bob]

For all you newcomers to SaAustralia, I'm not actually South African although my wife and I were there for a month in 1985 . . . . the "good ol' days!"

Most South Africans coming to Australia or New Zealand are families.

The mums and dads aren't coming for themselves. They're coming for their kids.

Australia isn't about "status"

It's not about "wealth"

It's not about driving flashy cars and having people look up to you.

You guys are still thinking "South African".

The real essence of Australia is Opportunity. It's Freedom.

My daughter has a friend that she met in America about 18 months ago and are still in contact with each other regularly.

My daughter's friend, Jacqueline, is actually from Pretoria (the Willows)

Jax is coming over to visit my daughter, Heidi, in April for a couple of weeks when Heidi has time off from her University studies.

I'd really like Jax to see how free Heidi lives.

I'd like them to go to the beach together and have a coffee on the beachfront, to stroll thro the main shopping district of Adelaide where we live with all the thousands of other shoppers, to witness the casual freedom that single young people should be living, to go into a pub downtown for a drink together one evening.

I reckon a couple of weeks of being free from crime, free from looking over her shoulder, free from worrying about being mugged and robbed, free from the threat of job insecurity might make this young South African girl realise there is a whole new world out there for her . . . . . in Australia.

And my daughter, Heidi, is studying Medicine . . . . as far as the "Opportunity" bit goes in Australia for kids nowadays.

The sky is the limit here!

[Karen]

After assisting countless folk with the settling process here over many years, I think you are wise to consider this huge step in your lives carefully.

Immigration is not for sissies. It is one of the toughest and most stressful things you will do in your lives. Never underestimate the bond you have with your motherland, nor the grief you can feel leaving it and your loved ones behind. No matter how many success stories you read, you can rest assured that just as many tears are shed for what was left behind.

Yes, some people settle down relatively quickly and get on with their new lives. If you are happy in your work situation, happy the children are happy etc, things can go pretty smoothly. If you are fortunate enough to have family / friends to welcome you and help you to adjust, you are really lucky. Others, however, can take many years to reach acceptance of the adopted land; some never do and some will go home. Every single person is unique and their experiences may or may not be yours. Until you are actually living in your new country, you cannot be sure what you will feel. Expect to have good and bad days, especially once the honeymoon phase is over and reality sets in. Life anywhere on earth can become mundane once the newness has worn off and you wake up and realise this is where you are going to be for good.

Your attitude will make a huge difference. If you come with a postive attitude and you keep it, you will go a long way. If you are negative from the get- go, or did not really want to come, you may well experience trauma and sadness. Seek professional help if you cannot get over this depression or grief. You won't be alone in it and it can be worked through if you are willing to give things a chance. Remember that time is a great healer and after a few years, things will most likely look much better and brighter.

Do not compare SA to your new land. It is totally counter- productive. You have left SA and cannot and will not have what you had there. This is a different country and culture and you now have to fit in with the system you are now a part of. If you continually refer back to what you knew and had, and especially if you compare it negatively, you will have great difficulty in coming to terms with your new home. Yes, schools will be different, so will the workplace and the manner of doing business, the medical system will be too, but mostly, the mindset of the people with whom you interact, will be totally different from the one you arrive with. Given the gift of time, yours will change too, if you allow it to happen- and sometimes even if you don't, it will occur.

Be sure of your reasons for leaving and never forget them. If you feel that SA has no future for you or your family/ the crime is a major concern/ you want to live in a first world country etc etc, put those reasons up in a place where you can see them daily, and refer to them when you start questioning or second guessing your reasons for leaving. Also, if you idealise SA constantly, the reasons for immigrating will start to blur. Read SA online newspapers daily for a reality check and again refer to the list of reasons for leaving.

Be grateful that you live in a time when you can see your family and friends online daily. Make use of Skype and other such tools to be in visual touch and to allow the kids to keep their family ties as strong as possible. Do not return 'home' too soon. Allow a reasonable amount of time to lapse, so that you are more settled and not hankering so much for what you gave up. When you do return, try and see everything objectively and make the most of your visits. Realise that people move on in SA just as you have moved on in your new home. They may seem very different from you and vice versa. You have to accept that.

Lastly, hold your homeland in your heart. Do not denigrate it to others. You are who you are because of it, warts and all. You may become a citizen of your new land, and you should, but you will always sound different and remain an immigrant. Accept that and accept that your children will grow up Aussies/ Canucks etc and not be part of your past or even your culture, fully. Leave behind preconceived ideas and stereotypes of the past. Embrace your new culture and learn as much as you can about it. Become involved in your community, learn the culture and the politics and steep yourself as much as you can in all things Australian/ Canadian etc. The more you immerse yourself, the easier things will be for you.

Yes, you may be miserable from time to time, you may need a good cry, but if you know you did the right thing, you will settle and be happy and love your new country the way a mother takes to an adopted child, she did not grow under her heart, but in it.

If you decide to immigrate, do your homework well and go forward with a positive attitude and always look ahead and never backwards. This can turn out to be the greatest adventure of your life, if you allow it to be that.

Good luck and godspeed to all who are thinking of leaving/ who have already made the big move.

Edited January 25, 2008 by Karen

[Joey_Muchacho]

I hear all these stories about people moving over with their families and how their doing it for their kids and what not and I perfectly agree with this, but what I'd like to know is if their is anybody here who made the trip by themselves, the ones without families, how their experience has been i.e. the ups and downs.