Almost 7 Years later in Oz

[Enrica]

It is with great interest that I read the questions and topics, and yet I dont seem to see anything

relates to what happens a year,2 or 3 down the line. We arrived in Perth in June , and we left RSA for pretty much the same reasons as everybody else, safety issue, future of our children etc etc. We were hi-jacked as a family in 1997 and decided then it was time to get out. It took us 3 years to apply and try and sell our business but eventually we did it. We arrived in Perth knowing 1 person and ex client, no forums to relate to and a very bleek job market in Australia. The first few weeks were all exciting waiting for our container to arrived , settling in and geting the kids settled into schools. Then started the job hunt....my husband could not get a job, and I was working for a the grand sum of $30,000.00 a year. No matter , we hoped it would get better. 5 months in and my husband had a heart attack , I was convinced it was the stress caused by immigration and that fact that he was not working. 2 months later we bought a business so that he had some thing to do and had a reason to get up in the morning. Immigration is an absolute emotional roller coaster, it is not for the faint hearted. It will try and test your relationship with your partner/husband and soul mate. We have a saying about immigration "it will make a good marriage bad and a bad marriage bust".

Be prepared for days of servere depression, mostly the women seem to suffer the most. Some how because the men go out and work every day and interact with people they somehow seem to cope better.

Now , if you thought year 1 was bad enough , year 2 get even worse ....you start questioning did you do the right thing? Why did you come? Friends back home stopped emailing a while ago. You miss the family you left behind even more , you feel like you can't relate to Australia and the Australian way of life. My advice is make a list of the reason why you are leaving South African , put it on the fridge when you arrive and when you are feeling down, go take a walk on the beach or in the beautiful Aussie bush and remind yourself why.

I heard some one say that we need to serve out our apprenticeship in OZ - you need to give yourself 1000 days , thats how long it takes for you to feel at comfortable in you new adopted country. We have a saying in W.A. - "That W.A. will tame the most ferocious lion"- I certainly beleive that immigration does that to all of us. In year 2 you feel as if you have no confidence and that you are completly out of your depth. This is normal. Dont think that there is something wrong with you. Just make sure that you can talk to people about how you feel , be it a husband/wife or friends that have been through what you are going through. Dont be ashamed and think that you are weak - seek professional help if need be. They say that emotional impact of immigration can be equated to the loss of a loved one , and that you are in mourning... which in reality is so...we are mourning our family ties , friends that we have a history with , and the loss of our country that we all loved and still love.

Year 3 gets so much better , you start to appreciate what a fantastic place this really is, you have got to love this country that gives you a first time home owners grant, that gives you money to have babies , gives you money for your kids at election time, but most of all you realise that Australia and its people are extremely generous. Yes, our taxes are high but you can see where the money goes, people are not starving and begging on every street corner.

So to all of you out there just hang in there when the going gets tough , it does get better. You will learn new skills and find strenghts with in yourself that you never thought you had.

I for one can now call myself a proud South African-Australian.

I hope this will be of some help down the line

[Cindylou]

Thank you, Enrica, for the lovely post. I really enjoyed reading it and, when comparing it to some other posts from "Aussie Old Hands" such as QG and Riekie it would seem that there is a definite pattern to the settling in process.

I'm not in Perth yet, but am hoping to join my family who also moved in 2000 (so on much the same time line as your family) It really helps people like us to read your experiences - forewarned is forearmed and all that!

My favourite idea, and one I stick to religiously, is that every time something bugs me in SA I add it to my list and try and put it out of my mind for now. One day, when we're in Perth, I'll take out my list and say "don't have that, can't see this, never hear about that!" and hopefully that'll help when the moving blues hit.

Once again, thank you for taking the time to write such an inspiring post!

Cindylou

[The Parsons Family]

Thanks for this insightful post.

I was feeling a little down yesterday, but you just have to get out and walk the streets to realise how good you actually have it.

I walked to the greengrocers, which is something I would never have been able to do in SA and when I got back I was much happier

I think many people don't want to share their "tough" times in case it puts others off emigrating......

Cheers

Gaille

Edited March 15, 2007 by The Parsons Family

[Sheila2oz]

hI Enrica

Thank you for the post. I knew that it can not just be " Maanskyn en rose "

We are making a scrap book for us. I also say that the first year will be ok, but after a year if the doubts and the missing of friends and family comes, and you try to think was it really that bad, we will take the scrap book off the shelve.

Thanks again for your honesty.

cheers vir eers

Sheila2Oz

[Ajay]

Thanks for a fantastic, honest, warts-and-all post, enrica! It's so gfood to have people like you around on the forum - nothing counts like experience!

Thanks again and I'm really looking forward to seeing more from you...

Love

Ajay

[MANDYL]

Thanks Enrica ! Somewhere else on the forum a topic was raised something to the efect of what will you do differently now that you are in Oz and that you know a little bit more. Is there something you would've done differently ?

[Enrica]

Thanks Enrica ! Somewhere else on the forum a topic was raised something to the efect of what will you do differently now that you are in Oz and that you know a little bit more. Is there something you would've done differently ?

Thanks for all the kind words.......

Would I have done anything differently? ....Well if I had had a crystal ball I certainly would have bought more property, but they say hindsight is a perfect science.(LOL) For the rest , no I certainly would not have done anything differently. It has been tough , but at the end of the day its worth it.

I have a philosophy, that I live by since I have been here...I "adopt" a South African Family that arrives and try and make things easier for them - for as long as they need moral support or assistance in other areas. In return , I ask that family to return the favour to some other new arrival and so on. Hopefully that way , when the going gets tough , there is someone that cares.

Cheers

[Camper]

We have started a scrap book where take clippings from the paper and stick them in. So when we hit a downer we will just open the book and remind ourselves why we left the country we all love so much.

No doubt we are going to miss our friend and famalies but rome wasn't built in a day is my attitude.

one thing i have noticed is that since we have applied a view things in a different way.

Cheers

Camper

[MANDYL]

I've got a lever arch file which I started May 2006, very close to full. Will soon be starting on my 2nd file. We actually got this advice from an ex SA living in Australia. I just keep on filing. I think even now if I have look back I will get the fright of my life as some of the newspaper clippings are absolutely horrible.

[Yvonne]

Thanks Enrica for an encouraging posting. We are in year two and doubts come up frequently about why we moved here. I'm so glad I'm not the only one!

Y

[Dedrei]

Jip selfde hierso. Thanks Enrica dis goed om te weet dis normal en dat ander deur dieselfde gaan.

Sterkte aan almal.

x

[Riekie]

I heard some one say that we need to serve out our apprenticeship in OZ - you need to give yourself 1000 days , thats how long it takes for you to feel at comfortable in you new adopted country.

Thanks for your post Enrica! It's good to have a point of view from someone who's been here longer. It's true: very few people on the forum has been here that long and you do wonder what life will be like in another 5 or 10 years time. It's good to know that after all that time, and all things considered, you're still a happy chappy in Aus! The 1000 days apprenticeship is a good point of reference to hold onto in those darker days when you go through all the emotional lows of immigration! Thanks for that tip! I also now realise how difficult it must have been for people who left South Africa in the "early days" - no forum, no support.... and still, they all made it! Now that's encouraging - good on you!!

[LeeInOz]

A lot of truths and useful information. I bought a book about migrating to Australia written for Brits. It also said make a list of the reasons why you left, and keep it for the dark days. I ended up with a 20 page typed list, and was scared we could not come!

We have settled in and are happy here in year 3.

Any partner who does not work or become engaged in some activity involving people will suffer. A Zimbabwe man who has been here 16 years said he went to work and was happy but his wife was extremely unhappy. After a few years, she went to work, and slowly her changed her attitude and loves it here. We were here a few months and I was without work, financially we we able to cope, but mentally it was uncomfortable. My wife had a job in a few weeks, so I just kept looking. A South African eventually put me in touch with an employer. He also said he wanted me to pass on the favour to the next few South Africans. I have since assisted a few people with problems, as has my wife.

We were challenged with why do we want to live in a boring place by friends in South Africa. It is not boring, just not constantly life threatening. I had short periods of thinking we did the wrong thing, a short sit and think made it go away. That is not to say its perfect. I sometimes thing the way things are too controlled, but it is a first world country, not 3rd.

I now consider myself an Australian, who spent too long in South Africa, and try to help anybody wanting to make the move to a better life.

[SASydneysider]

Very true words spoken Enrica!!

We've also been out of SAfrica for almost 7.5 years - 3.5 years in New Zealand and almost 4 years in Aus. The only 2 regrets I have ..... We should have done more research and come to Aus first time around. We were told by a SA migration agent we did not qualify for Aus, but once we were in NZ, we found out we actually did qualify.

The 2nd regret is that we should have left SAfrica when we were much younger. It would have been much easier to carve a financially secure life out for ourselves here in Aus.

Was it easy? No, there were many tough times, but there were good ones too! Will I go back to SAfrica? NO. Will I do it all over again even at an older age? YES YES and YES!!!

SAS

Edited March 16, 2007 by SASydneysider

[Sam]

Thank you Enrica, a thread like this one is long overdue. There are not many people here who can give a balanced view from a true post immigration vantage point. I believe you are right that people 2 to 3 yrs after leaving South Africa are still in a process somewhere inbetween letting go and reconnecting. It takes time to rebalance after such a huge sacrifice and life change.

I feel like saying what my grandma always used to say when in a philosophical mood: "jaa dis maar swaar..."

PS: Glad to hear year 3 gets better and I like the apprentiship idea.

Edited March 16, 2007 by ~Sunflower~

[Bob]

Every apprentice has to spend the end of the day pushing a broom and doing all the cleaning up for the tradesmen.

The tradesmen did it in their days as an apprentice.

That's how life is.

As the years go on, you learn more and more in your apprenticeship and become more useful, until you end up a tradesman like all the rest, after time.

It's tough.

If you chuck it in, pushing a broom the first or second year of your "apprenticeship", then you aren't "tradesman" material.

You will stay "unskilled".

[LiezelM]

Hi Enrica

Thanks for your post. It's good to also have a realistic picture. I moved from SA to Seychelles in July last year, my husband in May. We've been here almost a year, and going to Aus this year. It's definitely not easy to move out of your home country. As beautiful as the Seychelles is, we still have days when we just want to go home. Sometimes I want to hop on a plane and go back to Jhb, no matter what. There have been days of many, many tears and depression, some days you feel so lost and lonely, because yes, and this was what hurt the most for me: Out of sight out of mind. The emails become fewer, the news become less. You DO GRIEVE, it feels like you've lost your family and friends, like they have forgotten you.

Then you do get an email, or a phone call or an sms, and you feel better. They ARE still there, they haven't died, they are just a phone call away. This makes it more bearable! You turn around, look at the scenery around you, and remind yourself why you want a better life for you, your husband and your future children, and you think about the beauty of Aus, and how much we loved the place when we went there 2 years ago, and the excitement returns. You get up, get on with your life, and remember how unhappy you felt in your own home town, knowing that you don't want that feeling again. Knowing that starting a new life is not easy, it won't be easy, otherwise everyone will be doing it, but as SAS always says, Nothing that's worth it comes without effort.

And yes, in Sydney, we'll go through the same emotions again, at least we will have family there, and I'll have a job!!! YAY!!! And maybe the Seychelles happened to prepare us for our destiny!

And thanks for the advice about the scrapbook, that is a BRILLIANT idea!!!! I am starting one today!!! Thanks to this forum!! Because there are days that you are so homesick, all reason leaves you...

[Queensland Girl]

Ja Enrica

We have been here 5 years and 4 months.

I can only agree with you word for word.

We were spared the heartattack but went through everything else.

I must admit though ours was possibly a bit different.As I have said before we came on a business visa, and did not earn one dollar in the first year. Than after that we made some REALLY stupid businss decisions and in the process lost alot of money. Every cent of of savings.

Looking back now I sometimes dont know how we actually got through. But we did and well-maybe in a way it was meant to be like this. I appreciate every wonderful day now. It brings a whole new perspective on life if you have been down in a very dark place, and have climbed out-And moved on. We have proved to ourselves and many others -we have got what it takes....

But-we South Africans are brave lot. We could do it-AND BE HAPPY-so can you.

[Enrica]

Ja Enrica

We have been here 5 years and 4 months.

I can only agree with you word for word.

We were spared the heartattack but went through everything else.

I must admit though ours was possibly a bit different.As I have said before we came on a business visa, and did not earn one dollar in the first year. Than after that we made some REALLY stupid businss decisions and in the process lost alot of money. Every cent of of savings.

Looking back now I sometimes dont know how we actually got through. But we did and well-maybe in a way it was meant to be like this. I appreciate every wonderful day now. It brings a whole new perspective on life if you have been down in a very dark place, and have climbed out-And moved on. We have proved to ourselves and many others -we have got what it takes....

But-we South Africans are brave lot. We could do it-AND BE HAPPY-so can you.

Ja Nee What can I say Queensland girls. You pay for education its part and parcel of your apprenticeship in OZ. Those stupid business decisions etc I can most defintely identify with. Unfortunately, we were/are so eager to succeed and we are rather naive and far to trusting. 7 years ago I really got the impression as soon as you openned your mouth and they could hear you had a South African Accent, people were under the impression that you arrived with suitcases full of money. When we left SA you could only take out your travel allowance of R120,000 per adult (tax payer) so you arrived with R240,000. At the time it looked like the Rand was the strongest currency in the world because the Saffers would go out a buy a house , and 2 cars all on R240,000 - IT JUST HAD TO BE THE STRONGEST CURRENCY IN THE WORLD (LOL) . Naturally, people where only to happy "skin" you where ever possible.

All I can say is Immigration is defintely not for sussies.!!!! Be strong all of you

[matman]

Not sure if this is redundant or if most people have read this posting, but it has a similar vein of thought as this topic. Great Expectations - now this takes me back many years to school, but I think a very apt title for a posting.

"Great Expectations is a coming of age story that revolves around the life of one man Pip. From the time he was seven years old until he was in his mid-thirties, Pip shows us the important events in his life that shaped who he became. Along the way, he acquires a menagerie of different acquaintances and friends that influence him in his decisions and goals for his life.

Pip’s story has one main point: no matter what happens to a person in their life, a person cannot change who they are inside. "

Rgds

matman

[Guest Bronwyn]

Thanks for your honesty Enrica. You actually scared me with that. It seems we still have a steep hill to climb...better to be realistic.

It cannot all be 'maanskyn & rose', that's true!

Bob - if your dictionary is not at hand, that's 'moonlight & roses'

Bron

[CPU]

Here is my one Canadian dollar (loonie) since immigration effects everyone.

In my opinion people who are successful in their hometown (Country), be it skill related or business decides to immigrate, their expectation are often so high that they expect to land the same kind of success immediately, only to be disappointed, I am not saying this effects everyone. Some people make it immediately and others do not.

When you have a family it is a lot harder than when you are single due to more expenses. Now if your significant other or both of you have jobs, or kids are grown up, working and still stay at home with the parents because it is cheaper, it makes a huge difference compared to when you are single. Single person is more mobile and if they have no family they will have to make it or break it or he/she can marry an Australian

There will always be a culture shock when starting a new life in a new country, some people don’t like change since you have to crawl before you can walk, and some do and walk the talk. There will be little obstacles to hurdle over, and some obstacles are larger and take a while to jump over before one can settle down and be successful, it’s all about time.

Some people will reach their goals, and others not and still make ends meet. Base on either one household income or two household income whoever lands a job first or both, or being offered a work permit, some people being materialistic will have huge mortgages to pay off, buy fancy cars since this is what they used to have before immigrating and only to see their paycheck disappear without savings, and now have to budget, some people will display their success by inviting others to their new home which is nothing wrong with it, since hard work pays off and they do not gloat about it, again this does not pertain to everyone.

From personal experience when I immigrated and landed in Vancouver with only two small luggage without a container, I told myself now what the heck did I get myself into, I went with a flow without an attitude and successfully settled down, it took me about 3 to 4 months to land a very good paying job, and the rest followed (wants and needs ). When I arrived in Canada I was willing to take any low paying job to start earning dollars, and I did not expect to make it in such a short time. If somehow I loose my job, knock on wood, and being in a corporate work place for a long time and feeding off ideas from a network of people I know( co-workers, ex-co-workers and people from outside of work), helps to land another job a lot quicker or even go into your own business.

When you live in your new country, each year only gets better as you are feeding of the energy from past experiences and generating success.

Sorry, my one Canadian loonie has become a twonie, and my apology if this has been mentioned by other members on this forum.

Edited March 16, 2007 by CPU

[Eva]

Some more fabulous feedback for us to digest!

:lol:

[Ready2go]

That was great reading. Thanx for digging another "goodie" Eva.

I start my 1000 day apprenticeship on 25 November 2008, Im gonna become a tradesman !!!

[Eva]

I start my 1000 day apprenticeship on 25 November 2008, Im gonna become a tradesman !!!

You lucky fish!! :ilikeit:

Can't wait till its our turn...