UNHAPPY IN AUSTRALIA, How many of you wanted to return or returned? Options

[Hangel]

I came to Oz 13 months ago on a 457,all by myself as a single person with only 2 suitcases with clothes in them. I love every minute of being here and will never go back to RSA.
I still read the "Beeld" regularly and I am thankful that I live in a country that is not governed by lunatics and where the law mean something to the majority of people.
I earn a little over 60K a year and although the general opinion seem to be that this is very low I feel like I have never earned so much money in my life! A dollar just seems to go so much further than my rand ever did! I have bought myself a brand new,out of the box Hyundai Getz,rent a 2 bedroom apartment less than a kilometer from the beach and have all the necessary furniture to be comfortable( I do need to buy a proper fridge still because I have a little bar fridge at the moment that is way too small.....and it will help if I stop buying dvd's and computer games!)
Friends-wise I have made a few but it is not yet as deep as the ones I've left behind in RSA. This however is because I am who I am : I very seldom click with people immediately and most of my friends have had to grow on me over the years. The same applies here in Oz
The worst emotion I have had over here is one of emotional exhaustion. I happened at around month 8......for about a week there I was just really tired of having to deal with the unfamiliar everyday and whished that I could just for a day be back with everything that is known to me. And I am sure this will happen from time to time until my mind made the shift from the unfamiliar becoming the new familiar.
But compared to RSA,this is Paradise and I am happy here. I am free to live!

[Tex]

Been in Oz for just over 6 months. Life is different, but altogether its 1st world living compared to 3rd world Africa. I'll never move back - life is too good here!

Tex

[rozellem]

Ok, so the odd single person on the forum sometimes pipes up and says they are struggling to fit in. And that is is difficult to come over and fit in if you are not in a couple, or shy, or dont drink, dont smoke, dont play sports, etc, etc.
Well, we had a single girlfriend over for dinner last night. Its very difficult to get a free night in her diary for a quiet dinner at ours BECAUSE she has only been in Aus less than 2 years, dont drink, dont smoke, has diabetes, is vegetarian, had a kidney transplant 5 years ago, dumped by her boyfriend after they arrived in Australia BUT she is a member of the first two activity groups on my little list below. My single niece in Sydney bought a old surfboard on ebay for $200 and joined the Sydney Surf Group below and we have hardly heard a peep out of her, I can see on facebook that her social life has absolutely taken off since! I understand that these are also the reason we have not heard much from Cyberdeth since he landed in Sydney in Jan, so no news is good news. You also do not have to be single to join these groups either. There is absolutely something for everybody. Check them out.

http://www.meetup.com/

http://www.getalife.com.au

http://www.danwk.com

http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Sydney-S...up/181951863133

[joweni]

I can so sympathize with what you are going though. Our daughter was 18 when we got our visas for Oz. My husband and I left her and her older brother in a very secure ( or so we thought) flat in Pretoria and came here to look for jobs etc. While we were here , she woke up one night to find a man leaning over her and only the appearance of her little dog, who had been lying fast asleep under the blankets saved us from what could have been our worst nightmare. He leapt out of the third floor window!!!!
Don't worry about the housework - nothing competes with the feeling of safety and security we have living here in Oz. We know there is still crime but it is not anywhere near the levels in SA and a lot of it is domestic violence or drug related. Our daughter had nightmares for almost three years but is now happy and confident,buzzes all over the city in her little car,has been overseas twice on holiday,has lots of friends,a wonderful job - all that we could have wanted for her.

Hope that you too will have the opportunity to sleep soundly at night !!!!

[LucyG]

Hi all

My husband and I have been here for almost a year now, and have never for a minute felt like we wanted to go back to SA. It was a long process in SA to get our PR visas, and I think that gave me the time I needed to grieve about leaving and to start to really look forward to the adventure ahead and get excited about it. For myself, I focus on the here and now, and the way our quality of life has improved exponentially since we got here. I love that I can go down to the beach front at night for a walk or a cycle, and can enjoy it all without the worry about crime. The kids are so free here to play in the neighbourhood, running around from one friend's house to the next, or going to the beach or a park to have fun.

Of course, the process of having to familiarise yourself with a different place, shops, where to find what you are looking for, can be a bit frustrating and overwhelming for a while, but then I changed to Coles online shopping, and it really made my life easier as I was spending an hour and a half, at least, walking up and down suioermarket aisles to do my weekly shop. It now takes me about 20 minutes online. I highly recommend it.

Hope that things look up for you. I am pretty sure that they will!

Lucy

[ricschw]

Ditto ditto ditto and ditto to sbhennops

And before everyone shouts “ adapt or die” , or “if you don’t like Australia , blah blah blah “ a great deal of us who immigrated to Australia did it for our kids.

The normality and relative safety has confirmed we did the correct thing.

However, nearly 4 years here, although I love the country I just struggle with the Aussies generally.
At 50 plus, I just don’t adapt that quickly.

One thing is for sure though; going back to South Africa is simply not an option. Just take a walk through a few places in Johannesburg to see what the future already looks like. If that does not convince you, take a walk though Harare or Bulawayo streets.

[joao pao]

Hi
I have been in Aus for 8 years,and love it .Will never go back.It was hard in the beginning but got better with time.
I meet a lot of saffers and in the first 5 minutes ,I know if crime affected them or if they left because of fear of crime.
The ones that were affected are happy and glad to be out of SA and try to make it work.
The others called[WHEN WE] moan about everything in the sun,and find it hard to adapt.

When I got here I made a effort to make aussie friends and to exept the Aussie ways.
when I got here I started supporting the Aussie teams ,because Aus is giving me a new life.
It is much easier to adapt if you let go of the old life in SA,and remember the good old days

My family has been victims of crime many times.Armed robberies ,breakins etc
Cheers happy in aus

[FlowersInOz]

It is much easier to adapt if you let go of the old life in SA,and remember the good old days

Thanks for writing this. This is exactly why it can be so hard to adapt in Australia. For some people it is just so hard to LET GO of the past. When we come here we automatically have to go through our emotional baggage as well, to be able to live here and letting it ALL go is part of it. It's a major overhaul and cleansing and purging of the old that we all have to go through. Besides having to change and accommodate the new, I think a lot of people go back to South Africa for this very reason: they WON'T LET GO and they are not willing to go through the process of letting go.

Those who decide to stay in Australia but emotionally won't / don't /can't LET GO, go through a lot of suffering. It's only when we can let go that we can truly come into a relaxed state. This is a very difficult process and a lot of guilt, shame and fear come up. This is why a lot of South Africans become depressed and unhappy. Migrating here shakes up everything in your life and forces you to DEAL WITH IT emotionally instead of denial or avoidance of feelings and issues.

peace

[sbhennops]

Well some people know how to make friends fast. The people that moan about everything in Oz did exactly that in SA. Nothing will ever satisfy them no matter were they end up, they will find a reason to moan. Some of us have given it a fair go in Oz and have no choice but to stay. If i had a choice i would go home to my family farm in SA, not because its SA, because its home and always will be for me. I might let go the day my mother no longer lives, but till then my home is the place i go to see my mother. I am not afraid of crime, dying or whatever comes with it, i believe when your time is up it is up and you can run as far as you like the result will be the same. I am not a socialite and will never be one, and don't have a problem with a lack of friends. Most friends grow on you over time anyway and the rest just use you for there own selfish reasons. That is just my point of view and since i have been here for 4 year, i can see that all people react differently to different situations. Me I live in Oz because my hubby is an Ozzie, but no one said i have to like it. I will settle down when i do something i am familiar with, till then i will probably bitch about it. If people don't like it don't read it.

Regards

[candivw]

Thanks for writing this. This is exactly why it can be so hard to adapt in Australia. For some people it is just so hard to LET GO of the past. When we come here we automatically have to go through our emotional baggage as well, to be able to live here and letting it ALL go is part of it. It's a major overhaul and cleansing and purging of the old that we all have to go through. Besides having to change and accommodate the new, I think a lot of people go back to South Africa for this very reason: they WON'T LET GO and they are not willing to go through the process of letting go.

Those who decide to stay in Australia but emotionally won't / don't /can't LET GO, go through a lot of suffering. It's only when we can let go that we can truly come into a relaxed state. This is a very difficult process and a lot of guilt, shame and fear come up. This is why a lot of South Africans become depressed and unhappy. Migrating here shakes up everything in your life and forces you to DEAL WITH IT emotionally instead of denial or avoidance of feelings and issues.

peace

I agree 100% with you Flowers, its a sort of 'emotional springclean' when you land here, you learn to let go of loads of things and you move on.

[HansieSlimBergWi...]

Hi
I have been in Aus for 8 years,and love it .Will never go back.It was hard in the beginning but got better with time.
I meet a lot of saffers and in the first 5 minutes ,I know if crime affected them or if they left because of fear of crime.
The ones that were affected are happy and glad to be out of SA and try to make it work.
The others called[WHEN WE] moan about everything in the sun,and find it hard to adapt.

When I got here I made a effort to make aussie friends and to exept the Aussie ways.
when I got here I started supporting the Aussie teams ,because Aus is giving me a new life.
It is much easier to adapt if you let go of the old life in SA,and remember the good old days

My family has been victims of crime many times.Armed robberies ,breakins etc
Cheers happy in aus

Strange that you feel the need to come and visit this website now then. Are you looking for affirmation that you did the right thing?

[EricaC]

Strange that you feel the need to come and visit this website now then. Are you looking for affirmation that you did the right thing?

No, I think that the 'website' is visited by us to share stories, info, laughs........what is so strange about that?????? Why are you visiting it??




Erica

[Kiepie]

Hi everyone,

Well, I'm in my scary phase.Decided in February to tackle the Aus. issue.My sister and her family is in Melbourne.After 18 months there,they are happier than ever before.The excitement took over and I went to see an agent in April.Passed the IELTS,my skills assessment is on its way to Aus.
Within 3 months,my doc. were ready,my house is sold,kids can't wait to fly,I know what furniture to take or leave ect.
everything is actually going to fast for me now!Suddenly I realise the change of a lifetime is here!Will I be able to cope?Will I make new friends?Will my kids adapt?
But when I read the forum,I only see(most of the time),better living conditions,safety for my kiddos.

So heads down and one step forward each day.
Can't wait to become a Auzzie

Thanx for the reality check with all your comments.I realise it will not always be easy,but I believe it will be better.

Good luck to everybody in whatever phase u are in your live.

G

[Hangel]

Hi everyone,

Well, I'm in my scary phase.Decided in February to tackle the Aus. issue.My sister and her family is in Melbourne.After 18 months there,they are happier than ever before.The excitement took over and I went to see an agent in April.Passed the IELTS,my skills assessment is on its way to Aus.
Within 3 months,my doc. were ready,my house is sold,kids can't wait to fly,I know what furniture to take or leave ect.
everything is actually going to fast for me now!Suddenly I realise the change of a lifetime is here!Will I be able to cope?Will I make new friends?Will my kids adapt?
But when I read the forum,I only see(most of the time),better living conditions,safety for my kiddos.

So heads down and one step forward each day.
Can't wait to become a Auzzie

Thanx for the reality check with all your comments.I realise it will not always be easy,but I believe it will be better.

Good luck to everybody in whatever phase u are in your live.

G

What you are feeling is quite normal It is an adventure! Good luck!

[Johan Venter]

Been in Aus for almost 4,5 years, due for our citizen test, my son and daughter did there’s, both passed, son gets inaugurate on the 7 September 2010. Never wants to go back, not even for a holiday. LOVE it in Australia!!!!!!

My dad is 80, comes for his second visit in December. He just fell in Love with Australia. If we could only keep him here!!!