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Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)


Riekie

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We've been here almost 4 years now and we've been through a lot of ups & downs as far as our emotions, adjusting, moving on and all the rest of it goes. I've seen ppl going through much the same and a lot of it is quite "normal" considering the huge trauma it is to uproot yourself and your family, going through the stress of securing a new life in a completely unknown country and settling into this new life.

I've just been wondering: how many of us suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder? How much of what we go through is actually "normal" and how much is PTSD which requires help to be able to let go & look forward? Are we not setting ourselves up for delayed depression & other mental issues because we think it is all part of the process and we therefor ignore it & hope it will eventually go away? Do we feel too ashamed to acknowledge that we do have a "problem" and need help? How do we know if we do?

I've done a bit of reading on the issue, and the "symptoms" of PTSD is a shocking eye opener: (These are not the only symptoms, but the one's I've seen most often in fellow Saffers)

* Reliving an experience (troublesome memories, flashbacks etc)

*Avoidance of ppl or places to the extent that it becomes a phobia (fear of going back to visit etc) and numbing of emotional responsiveness (lack of interest in activities, emotional deadness, distancing from other ppl, etc)

*Physical signs such as sleeplessness, trouble concentrating, anger (incl. explosive anger), irritability, difficulty remembering things, increased reaction to being startled, hyper-vigilance etc.

*Being unable to regulate feelings, detachment, feelings of guilt, preoccupation with revenge etc.

I have a real big concern for ppl I know and ppl on the forum who display & express some of these symptoms, as I realise that they may be suffering from PTSD without even knowing it... Just thought I'd share this to make ppl more aware of this very real issue.

(PS: IF you live in Sydney, there is a Clinic for Traumatic Stress which is run FREE OF CHARGE at either Westmead Hospital or the Uni of NSW. They are running new trials of this program as part of research. It involves weekly individual sessions with a clinical psychologist. To find out if you "qualify" call them on 9845 7979 - a clinical psychologist will talk to you, explain the program and arrange for an assessment). :ilikeit:

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Riekie,

What an excellent topic :ilikeit: !

I’ve recently spoke to someone and apparently moving house, changing work or changes in relationships can cause huge distress in someone’s life.

Emigration includes all of the above!!! Not only do you move house, you actually move counties!!! Apart from moving house (countries), you change work, which can also cause a lot of unnecessary stress and given the fact that one move miles away from your loved ones, you grief their absence from your life.

Personally, I experienced all of the above. I literally grieved :holy: about my life that I left behind in SA and it was definitely not easy at times (my poor husband :ilikeit: !)

One cannot prepare yourself well enough for the stress and emotions related to emigration!

Now, almost a year later in Australia, I am much more content with my life and even though it is still hard at times, I am now starting to accept and enjoy my life Down Under :ilikeit: !

Please do not underestimate emigration and the emotions that comes with it!

Lovies, Pippa! X

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Riekie,

What an excellent topic :ilikeit: !

Personally, I experienced all of the above. I literally grieved :cry: about my life that I left behind in SA and it was definitely not easy at times (my poor husband :hug: !)

One cannot prepare yourself well enough for the stress and emotions related to emigration!

Please do not underestimate emigration and the emotions that comes with it!

Lovies, Pippa! X

Thank you Pippa for this frank post and to Riekie for the topic. Still sitting in RSA it is good to read this, because I certainly know that its not all going to be easy, but its reassuring to see that you have been able to recognise what you are experiencing and get through it, and sure we will too! Certainly not an easy path we are on...

Regards

Eva

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Its true when they say emmigration is definately not for sissies!!! I did a quick online stress test (wel I did a few and most of them gave me a score differing by only a couple of points. I scores 415, which apparently is quite up there, although I don't feel that stressed, but I tend to cope well for a long period of time before I feel the total effect of life changes around me.

here is an example of a test.

http://www.cliving.org/lifestresstestscore.htm

Also interesting, is the top 10 stressful professions, which judging by the posts on this forums and the requirements of the visas, quite a few of us are in.

Top 10 stressful professions:

IT

Medicine/caring profession

Engineering

Sales and marketing

Education

Finance

Human resources

Operations

Production

Clerical

Stress is very dangerous to our physical and mental health and I would echo Riekie and Pippa advice, and don't underestimate the toll that emmigration takes on us. And if needed seek some help whether it just be a shoulder to cry on or professional help. I think that is one of the most important functions of this forum. Not just for emmigration advice, but just general support and the knowledge that we are not in it alone. :ilikeit:

Candice

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Also, I think that you would find that quite a few people on this forum made the decision to emigrate after having experienced violent crime first hand, wether directly or close relatives ! The impact is HUGE and one should never underestimate the long term effects.

I worry about my kids - after having been attacked in our home and then parents uprooting them as a result. How does a 3 yr old process all of this ? and what will be the price that they pay later on in life ?

Can't wait to be settled in a place where we can all feel safe again !

Cheryl

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Also, I think that you would find that quite a few people on this forum made the decision to emigrate after having experienced violent crime first hand, wether directly or close relatives ! The impact is HUGE and one should never underestimate the long term effects.

I worry about my kids - after having been attacked in our home and then parents uprooting them as a result. How does a 3 yr old process all of this ? and what will be the price that they pay later on in life ?

Can't wait to be settled in a place where we can all feel safe again !

Cheryl

Hallo Riekie en Pippa

As Pastorale Berader (tans besig met my Phd studies) het jul uitstekende nuwe onderwerp my dadelik opgeval. Baie dankie vir die inisiatief. Wat van 'n eie forum vir raad en leiding rondom die hantering van PTSD. Sal graag betrokke wil raak daarby, hier is 'n hele aantal sielkundiges, maatskaplike werkers en leraars op die forum wat betrek kan word as hosts daarvoor.

Hoor graag die mening van forumiete daaroor.

Aktief 55+

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Dit klink puik vir my, ek dink hier is meer van ons wat een of ander vorm en graad van ontwrigting beleef as wat ons dink. 'n Sentrale plek waar raad en hulp gesoek kan word (ook vir die wat anoniem wil bly !), kan 'n geweldige wonderlike diens lewer.

Ons kan dalk ook in hierdie forum bly, met net 'n TOPIC spesifiek vir hierdie doel. Net 'n voorstel.

Alida

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Ah Pippa, the grief for the loss of hopes and plans - that was really hard. I knew that I might have an anticlimate response to being here. After all I spent years plotting and planning to get to Aus and there must be a moment when everything is done and one sits back and looks and says "Now what? Why aren't I happy? After all this is what I wanted!" BUT I really did not realise how sad I would be about the lost opportunities.

The hardest for me was (and still is) the guilt I felt. It's not something that I discuss with people so I'm not sure if anyone else has been through it, but I feel almost constantly guilty that by leaving SA I "gave up", I acknowledged defeat, I turned my back on the future of the country. I put my own self interest first...

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I feel almost constantly guilty that by leaving SA I "gave up", I acknowledged defeat, I turned my back on the future of the country. I put my own self interest first...

Hi, Cindylou - I can understand what you're saying. Many of us SAffers feel that way about leaving our jobs, communities, churches, etc., 'just like that' and 'to face the looming crises' 'on their own'. But I do think it is very important to remember that we cannot do a thing about the direction SA is heading. We are made to believe that we are making and can make a difference, but let me tell you, we don't. There are predetermened scripts that is followed by politicians, the financial world and sorry to say, even some churces. We are not in charge of anything but our own life anymore. So you take charge of what you are able to take charge of and make the most of what you can. And currently, the best possible thing to do, is getting away - if not permanently, for a while at least, till we know where things are heading. For things are completely out of control and speeding downhill in our beautiful country.

I think you can relax and let go of guilt. We were made to feel guilt about the most nitty gritty things - even to speak our minds and be honest about what's in our hearts. We got so used to being controlled in every aspect of our lives that we even feel guilty for thinking for ourselves !

Relax and know that you did what you thought best and there is absolutely nothing wrong about it. Think toward whom do you feel guilty: a country and government that doesn't feel the least bit lojal toward you ? If you feel guilty toward your people you left behind, help them find jobs over there !

I feel we've been indoctrinated by false guilt for so long now, we've come to the point that we've made it our own and we think it is really our own conscience talking. In reality, it's the media that instilled this guilt. Think about it. The truth will set us free.

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Dalk kan ons 'n "sticky" maak onder "Settling In" - want dit is tog waar mense raad gaan soek oor hoe om in te pas en aan te pas en te "let go & move on"... Intssen sal ek dit aan Hendie noem. (Ek weet dat ons nie graag ekstra subforums byvoeg nie, want dit maak die forum te "omvattend" en besig - amper soos 'n doolhof - as mens te veel subforums het).

Ek skuif intussen hierdie na "Settling In" en maak dit 'n "sticky" sodat mense dit makliker raaksien. :blush:

Aktief 55+, dankie vir die aanbod vir hulp - ek is seker dit sal baie waardeer word! :blush: Baie mense voel "veilig" om hulle emosies op die froum te bespreek, maar voel ongemaklik om bv 'n sielkundige te gaan sien... Onthou net, dat die raad wat mens gee & kry op hierdie forum is elkeen se persoonlike opinie, en nie die antwoord op alles nie. Mense wat hulp nodig het, moenie die forum as enigste bron van hulp gebruik nie - partykeer is dit nodig om professionele hulp ook te kry.

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Hi there

Thanks for sharing about this issue.

Regarding the PTSD, I wonder how many of us didn't realise how much fear and other trauma symptoms we were carrying until we arrived here. I am a psychologist and yet I have been surprised to experience the symptoms of PTSD since I have been here rather than when I was in SA. My theory is that my defenses have come down since I have arrived here and now all the suppressed feelings are surfacing.

As for the grief and the guilt, I too experience this in huge dollops. I don't always understand what I am feeling or why and that really frustrates me because I very much need to make sense of all things psychological, but I guess when one is on the inside rather than standing on the outside looking in, it can get very blurry. There are the obvious things I am grieving of course, like the loss of friends and families and hopes and dreams for my countries (Zimbabwe and South Africa), but then there are days when I find myself caught by surprise by the depth of my sadness and no understanding what exactly I feel sad about in that moment.

I also wonder how long it takes to feel like one fits in with the people here. I work with the most wonderful people; caring and considerate and so trusting to the point of naivete, I think. I feel so inadequate next to them at times because I feel very cynical about alot of things and often feel really angry and am certainly no longer trusting. My interactions with the Ozzies I work with are fraught with ambivalent feelings. They appear so psychologically unblemished compared with many of us South Africans and although I understand the reasons for this difference, I sometimes think I will never truly relate to them. I just hope I am not alone in feeling like such a misfit.

At the same time, the longer I am away from SA, the harder it becomes to remember what people in SA are like and the harder it gets to relate to my own friends there to a certain extent. Does anyone else out there feel like they are in no-mans-land?

The other thing I find strangely disconcerting is that I can feel so happy here one day and the very next day I might well feel despairing. To say that this process is a roller-coaster of emotions is no exaggeration. Sometimes I wonder if my rollercoaster might actually derail!!! (LOL)

I think emigration from SA is more like a traumatic bereavement that a simple bereavement.

At times I would like to see another psychologist to talk my feelings over with, but I can't help but feel that unless they themselves are another immigrant from a complicated African country, they just won't be able to fully understand my experiences outside of what a textbook tells them. There are a great many textbook psychologists here it would seem so anyone who has seen a local psychologist here and is prepared to offer some feedback about their counselling/therapy experience, please let us know.

Ah well, thanks for listening to my ramblings....

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Julie, that is so true!! We've been here about 2 years when the waterworks started - for no apparent reason!! I even cried when I watched a sad(ish) moment on Biggest Loser!!! :blush: Something which would not even trigger an emotion from me 2 years ago... I thought I was going crazy & saw my GP. After all my medical tests checked out fine, I came to the realisation that I was actually returning to being a "normal" human being with "normal" emotions - something I've learnt to suppress while living in South Afirca. Too much sadness to bear so I blocked it out. :blush:

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Guest Bronwyn

[quote name='Julie K' date='Aug 2 2008, 12:55 PM' post='142140'

I also wonder how long it takes to feel like one fits in with the people here. I work with the most wonderful people; caring and considerate and so trusting to the point of naivete, I think. I feel so inadequate next to them at times because I feel very cynical about alot of things and often feel really angry and am certainly no longer trusting. My interactions with the Ozzies I work with are fraught with ambivalent feelings. They appear so psychologically unblemished compared with many of us South Africans and although I understand the reasons for this difference, I sometimes think I will never truly relate to them. I just hope I am not alone in feeling like such a misfit.

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To make matters worse I do feel a huge amount of guilt for leaving parents (in their 60's and with no pensions), grand-parents (80+ and I am the apple of ther eye), my sister (not doing great financially), etc. I feel very, very angry about all this.

Hey Bronwyn, I am in much the same boat - the guilt.... We are 5 kids of which 4 have emigrated (4th one flying out to USA on 1 Sept) and the 5th one on the way as soon as she'd completed her nursing qualification. Our parents are ageing, barely coming by financially and no family left remotely close to where they live. Who's going to look after them? :ilikeit:

PS: I did not realise you had such a tough time finding happiness here in Oz. It took me a long time to find a close friend again, so don't give up. PM me if you need a chat.

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Shooo, now I'm really sitting here crying my eyes out!!

My hubby and I emigrated to Sydney in February on PR visa and although my hubby was really the one pushing for us to emigrate I certainly do agree that for our futures and our little ones (hopefully in the near future) it certainly makes sense! I've had a really hard time settling in in Syndey and also had to deal with a few very unfortunate circumstances (broke my foot while unpacking so 6 weeks in a cast, my dad became very ill in SA and after flying back he past away ).

I won't go into too much detail but after 5 months we realised that from a work point of view for my hubby we really should be in Perth, so after going through a huge amount of tough decision again we moved to Perth, we have been here 3 weeks now! So now I'm sitting here in our gorgeous new rental in Perth, our furniture has arrived last week and I just feel so sad and empty! And guilty...

Okay and I feel relieved that, after reading all the postings, I'm not alone in my feelings of quilt, sadness, tearfulness, fear, the list goes on and on! On top of all of this I feel like I've lost my self confidence and a lot of the time I just feel confused and not good enough! I have had some days where I feel more myself again and boy I love those days! My hubby has been so amazingly supportive eventhough he seems to be settling in much faster!

Okay, so going to make myself a cuppa and "dip 'n ouma" rusk and then I will have new energy for unpacking!

Thank you for sharing such personal information, it really has made me realise I'm not alone and there is hope to feel better in the future!!!!

Enjoying the sunshine in Perth (after a whole lot of rain :thumbdown: )

Linky

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hi Bronwyn

We landed in Adelaide in Dec 06, and I agree with you 100%, Adelaide people are like Capetonians, they don't mix and they are rude people in general. Even my Aus colleagues agree with this. Yes you will be happy in time, your emotions get to you after a year or so and you want to go back, but go back to what? family / friends, crime and violence, sorry to sound morbid but have family and friends in the RSA and they are trying to get out..

Give yourself another year and then make a choice, move interstate or back to the RSA...

Message for Pippa, are you in the travel industry at all? Know a Pippa ex-Centurion was in-house corporate travel agent in the Centurion area, just wondered..

Good luck guys..

J

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  • 2 weeks later...

Well, I am suffering a bit of PTSD, but my hubby has it worse, he is in the situation that many of you are in.. feeling guilty about leaving family back in SA. Any thoughts? My doctor (ex-SA) here has given me an anti-depressants, as he says lots of people who come from SA have new things to deal with, and he gives out alot of these 'tablets'! In a bad way I am glad to know that we not the only people feeling like this.

We've been here 6 months now, and I enjoy being here, except for one thing. When travelling on the train, everyday I will hear someone new talk in Afrikaans, so there a quite a few amongst us!!! But I don't speak afrikaans very well, enough to convrse though, and those I see on the train are not of the same race, so afraid to actually say hello. Not sure if is appropriate. This gives me a great deal of anxiety.. not being able to just say hello, in case the person looks at me and wonders where I come from, etc..

It comes from 2 bad experiences, when at the shoping till, a person in front or behind spoke in Afrikaans and I said 'Hello, hou gaan dit?', they kept quiet, I was totally ignored. I cannot understand how this was offensive in any way? I was just so happy at the time that I heard the language again, and that there are people that I can 'relate to', after all the struggles to get here, and why we here and not in SA.

Against what others have said, true Aussies are not warm people, but will greet and accept you just the way you are.

Any thoughts?

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My doctor (ex-SA) here has given me an anti-depressants, as he says lots of people who come from SA have new things to deal with, and he gives out alot of these 'tablets'! .

But I don't speak afrikaans very well, enough to convrse though, and those I see on the train are not of the same race, so afraid to actually say hello. Not sure if is appropriate. This gives me a great deal of anxiety.. not being able to just say hello, in case the person looks at me and wonders where I come from, etc..

Firstly on the "tablet" issue: It may help you through these times but once you're off them and haven't dealt with the cause of your PTSD or depression, all those negative feelings will return. I'm no expert, but I really think you should get additional help on top of the tablets (talking about it and getting it off your chest, dealing with the guilt etc and accepting it all).

Then on the Afrikaans & race issue: we've been approached by English & Afrikaans speaking Saffers of all races and had a nice chat in the isles at Bunnings or Coles or wherever. Not everyone you meet will want to be friends with you (or visa versa) but it's never stopped us from having a quick chat. If people ignore you based on either your language or your race, THEY'RE the ones who should feel bad - not you! Don't even give them another thought and don't let it stop you from reaching out. Not all Saffers are snobs!! :wub:

Hope you & hubby feel better. It takes time....

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I am also not keen on medication. Went onto the yellow pages and got hold of a trauma counsellor that way. Will let you know how good she is :wub:

Funny, we haven't met anyone from SA around here yet...

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-Crying all the time, mostly for no reason.

-Taking off at kids and hubby, mostly for no reason.

-Moaning about having no friends, but when hubby suggests a social event, making excuses.

-Low self esteem and lack of confidence (for the first time in my life... I'm normally loud, confident and outgoing)

I have a sneaky feeling I am suffering with mild depression. How do I snap out of this without going the happy pill route? I know what I am feeling is probably normal and am going through what hundreds of you have all had to deal with. I just can't handle the rollercoaster of emotions anymore. I'm a firm believer of allowing feelings to show and not bottling them up. In the past this has usually seen me through and past a situation. Have a good cry, shout scream, stamp your feet, acknowledge your feelings and then kiss them goodbye, but it doesn't seem to be helping this time.

I also have feelings of guilt for being the one who pushed for coming here and now not being all happy and starry eyed. Not to say that I feel we have made the wrong decision, but just that I feel I should be happy ever after and not sobbing hysterically at the drop of a hat.

Been here 6.5 months now and after 3 months had a wobbly, but got over it. This one seems to be lasting a bit longer. I remember someone saying the ups and down come in cycles and boy were they right.

Is good to hear I'm not alone.

Candice

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-Crying all the time, mostly for no reason.

-Taking off at kids and hubby, mostly for no reason.

-Moaning about having no friends, but when hubby suggests a social event, making excuses.

-Low self esteem and lack of confidence (for the first time in my life... I'm normally loud, confident and outgoing)

I have a sneaky feeling I am suffering with mild depression. How do I snap out of this without going the happy pill route? I know what I am feeling is probably normal and am going through what hundreds of you have all had to deal with. I just can't handle the rollercoaster of emotions anymore. I'm a firm believer of allowing feelings to show and not bottling them up. In the past this has usually seen me through and past a situation. Have a good cry, shout scream, stamp your feet, acknowledge your feelings and then kiss them goodbye, but it doesn't seem to be helping this time.

I also have feelings of guilt for being the one who pushed for coming here and now not being all happy and starry eyed. Not to say that I feel we have made the wrong decision, but just that I feel I should be happy ever after and not sobbing hysterically at the drop of a hat.

Been here 6.5 months now and after 3 months had a wobbly, but got over it. This one seems to be lasting a bit longer. I remember someone saying the ups and down come in cycles and boy were they right.

Is good to hear I'm not alone.

Candice

Hi Candice & All,

A tool that I have used for various things with great success, including Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is something called Emotional Freedom Techniques, or EFT for short. It's a DIY tool used by regular people and a tool that has been incorporated into many practices by psychologists too. This is something that you can teach yourself in the comfort of your own home in one short session - at no cost! Visit www.emofree.com read through and apply the basic 'recipe' and before you know it you'll be reaping the rewards. And, it's measurable! You'll notice the difference...

They have had amazing success with PSTD victims including the war veterans from Vietnam, some of whom were debilitated by PSTD for up to 20 years after the war! For those of you interested in this self-help tool, I highly recommend a bit of investigation into it. Alternatively, find a therapist near you who uses EFT. It's awesome...

In my very limited use of EFT, I have successfully assisted people to:

- Deal with grief

- Overcome an easting disorder

- Obtain a driver's license! (LOL!)

- Quit smoking

And I'm not even a practitioner per se! Just a fan of a powerful tool that helps a whole bunch... Try it for yourself, you have nothing to loose!

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I have got to agree with 90 % of what everyone has said so far. I have lost major confidence in myself too. I often feel confused when it comes to relating to Aussies. I very often feel misunderstood and my sense of humour is not at all in tune with Aussies. I laugh at all the wrong times and then when I'm supposed to laugh, I just don't think the joke is funny.

I find that this journey of adjusting changes all the time. In the beginning I couldn't put my finger on what was bothering me regarding dealing with people, but then I realised that it's almost like my reactions and behaviour is not taken in the same way as it is in SA. Does anyone know what I'm talking about??? I feel nervous to behave naturally because it always seems to bite me in the bum. Like if I let go and just be me I start to feel awkward afterwards and think hmmmm, I think I'm a bit too intense. In Oz you can't get away with a wide smile as a way to apologise...Aussies seem so serious. I can give one example: I was parked pretty close to an expensive car and as I was getting in the guy next to me was stressing that I was going to dent his car with my door. I didn't damage his car (needless to say) and gave a broad smile and a (what I thought) friendly chuckle to indicate "no worries", but instead of getting the usual smile back in return, like in SA, he just gave this cold, hard look.

I also find that when I behave enthusiastically or very excitedly it seems to scare Aussies. In SA this was always accepted as someone who openly shows appreciation and as a pleasurable way to behave. They're not big on showing passion. Another example....let's say we ladies have found a great hairdresser, we'll say so using passion in our voices and we'll put effort into our words to describe just how good this guy/girl cuts our hair. You'll find an Aussie who is just as chuffed with her hairdresser but you'd never know (if you don't know how they act) that this person is really happy with the service. They are sooooo......mediocre in their ways. Like they'll say, "yeah, I found this hairdresser to be pretty good". That translates to *excellent* in SA speak. Oh please will someone understand me!! Someone on this site put it so perfectly when they said something like when she is speaking to Aussies she asks herself "where is your personality?". That is exactly how I feel. Their conversation is too slow and boring for me. Where's the wit? They never get worked up about anything...good or bad. Oh except for their AFL and their swimming stars.

Please don't take this in the wrong way. I know by reading this it sounds like I'm pulling Aussies apart, but I'm really not. I'm just a saffer who has been here for almost 18 months who has a real need to vent. Thank goodness for my husband. He's witty and funny and has me rolling on the floor in stitches....I wonder if I always found him this funny or if I'm just so starved for some humour that he now has a really easy audience.

I am a loyal person, and I am grateful too....so I can't just end this post only on a negative note. I do feel a responsiblity to state that I would never want to go back to SA (not even for a visit at this point) and that I do so love how Australia runs like an well-oiled machine. I still am gob-smacked how everything just works. Like if I had to give Australia a motto it would go something like this: Australia. It works. Lol.

Someone also said that they don't find Australians so warm and I know this is an unpopular view but I tend to agree. They are by no means unfriendly but they are not WARM like SAns. I find that they tend to finish their conversations rather hurriedly...they don't do the okay then, righto, okay, bye...bye. It's more sudden, like, see ya (the end). Even the flight attendants are really more crisp and well, I don't want to use the word "short" because that's a bit of an exaggeration, but it's almost short. On the flip-side they really have big hearts and are so generous. I have lost count of how many I know who sponsor a black kid from the poorest parts in Africa. I do love Australia...it's been really good to my daughter. She's really thriving. It's true what others have said that the young kids have no respect for adults. Many a time I've had to grit my teeth and tell myself to shut up.

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I know exactly how you feel. I have to say, though, that I felt the same kind of thing when I moved from Cape Town to Gauteng. Everyone takes everything you say the wrong way, no-one laughs at the things we do, etc. It took us about two or three years to adjust to the move. So far we are finding it very similar. People here are just a lot friendlier and more helpful than when me moved to Gauteng.

Glad to know others are going through the same things we are. :blink:

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Does anyone know what I'm talking about??? I feel nervous to behave naturally because it always seems to bite me in the bum.

Wow... That was such an honest mail... Thank you! I completely understood what you were saying, and could identify. We still need to make the trip to Aus once our visas come thru, so I cannot relate in the sense that I have experienced what you speak about, but I am grateful for the 'heads-up' on what to expect when we do arrive.

On a positive note, your hubby must be loving the enthusiasm from you when he tells jokes that you might not have found as funny in the past... *giggle* I couldn't help but chuckle at that point in your mail!

Never loose yourself... I am certain that you'll find a way to adapt without compromising your authentic self.

Everything of the best in the integration process... Where in Australia have you settled?

Best rgds

Andi

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Thanks for your understanding : -)

Africvisions, let me know how you go once you take your trip. You just have to remember that coming for a couple of weeks is very different to living here. You'll be euphoric for a month or so because you won't believe how free and safe you feel. It's a great feeling and I never forget it : -). I still can't believe how lucky we are to have made it here. I would say that coming to Aus is my biggest achievement in life. Okay, that and having my baby girl.

Yep, I think my hubby does love my appreciation of him. I can honestly say that this immigration process has brought us closer together. We've really had to close ranks and be there for each other as a family. For me the hardest part was waiting for our visas and then organising a car. I also really didn't enjoy redoing my driver's test. Yuck. Makes one feel really helpless and irritated seeing as Americans and the British only have to write the written test. Yes, I know jealousy makes me nasty! I was a real whiner when it came to that. I told my driving inspector (or whatever they call it), "but I've been driving for 14 years"....obviously that doesn't matter. Still had to redo it. We both passed first time though. Yay.

Yes, I do think eventually I'll balance out and find some sort of happy medium without compromising my authentic self. Thanks for listening!

Thanks a lot for your good wishes. I am in Queensland. Beautiful beaches and really lovely weather....humidity takes getting used to but this will be my 3rd summer (which starts on the 1st September even though it's still Spring) and last summer I didn't suffer half as badly as the first summer when I stepped off the plane. Where are you thinking of looking at settling?

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