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Moving with older children


LouiseMark

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Hi all

Just want to get a feel of what we are in for. I have noticed quite a number of people who are leaving or who have left have children under the age of about 8 years old.

I have 3 children aged 11, 9 and 5. The youngest will start Grade 1 in 2016 and the oldest will go into her final Priamry School year - grade 7. We have our visa that needs to be activated by 16 Jan 2016 but we are still trying to thrash out whether we activate and then come back and leave about a year later or whether we pack up and go. There are so many reasons for both sides of this argument.

Who has moved with older children and how has the move affected them?

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Hi LM,

We moved Nov 2014, just last year. I have 3 kids 17, 15, 9. Not sure where you're heading but here in Queensland they have now included year 7 as part of high school as we know it. They call years 7-9 Junior secondary and yr 10-12 senior secondary. If you moved beginning of next year your oldest would start her high school career.

We were so worried about our kids fitting in, but they love it here and have adjusted well to the relaxed school atmosphere. My 2 older ones say the schooling is definitely easier. My 9 year old has adjusted well in school but I have found she is behind in Maths and that coming from a private school. They seem to accelerate learning in the younger years then slow it down. Just my observations.

I would say sooner than later is better to make the move but in saying that you and your family will know when the time is right.

Best of luck with your plans.

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I would say move sooner rather than later. The longer you leave it, the harder it becomes.

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Mine is 16 and we've moved 3months ago. It was hard, still is in some respects, though school has helped.

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Hey there LouiseMark, I would say don't activate just come and stay. They sooner you get you kids into the schooling system the better. Our daughter was in Prep in RSA and when we got here they wanted to put her into year 1 because of her age. We decided to keep her in prep.

BTW year 7 is now high school here in QLD, thinstatesrest of the other states are the same, so personally I think it would be a good thing for your eldest to start in Jan with the rest of the group and not come in a year late. That way she won't be the new kid. Might make things a bit easier for her, just a thought.

P.S. They adjust a lot faster than we do.

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I agree that the sooner you move the better, I don't think people realise how long it can take to get back on your feet financially. We have friends who thought they could out invest and out save the devaluation of the rand...well they couldn't.

As far as kids go, yes the younger they are the easier they adapt, but there are certain windows where it's easier, starting high school is one of them. There is a lot of bonding and mateship that happens in year 7( first year of high school) I wouldn't want my child to miss out in that.

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The reality is that there are issues no matter what the age, the issues just vary.

On the upside, we moved 8 months with a then 12 yr old girl (now 13) and an 11 yr old boy (just turned 12). Those first few weeks were HARD. The first few months weren't easy. They both now have a circle of friends, they skype, muck around, go to movies. They take their skateboards and play in the streets, the play on the beaches and run around the forests. There is still a long way to go, but on the whole, they have settled.

So whatever issues you are facing, take comfort that they will probably not define the rest of your lives. They are just part and parcel of the whole process.

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Moving before your children turn 13 is easier as friendship groups are still very fluid up until then.

We moved when my son 8 and daughter 5. We moved from Melbourne to Brisbane when my son had just turned 14 and my daughter 11.

Both have settled well the 2nd time around but i think that is also due to my husband and I being less concerned about the move.

Encourage them to pick up their sports if tgey are sporty and join community clubs as well as doing sports at school. Being a valued team player will help them find their feet socially.

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We moved across when my boys were 7 and 10 - they hit the ground running and haven't looked back. We also moved towns a year ago, so 2 big adjustments in 3 years.....no negative effects at all.

I agree with the other comments - come as soon as possible - the younger they are, the easier the adjustment. In general, the children settle far quicker than us adults.

I think a lot has to do with the parent's attitudes and how they portray the big move - if we make a big issue about the impacts on them, they will arrive with expectations of having impacts.

Good luck with your decision.

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Thank you all for your input!

Wish we could just pack up and leave now but we have commitments.

But definitely will keep in mind "sooner rather than later".

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We had many tears in the beginning, much crying about wanting to go home and hating this place. I'm a great believer in getting on with things (beside being rubbish at emotional support) so I sat my daughter down and told her that this experience will be entirely what she makes of it. She can choose to be miserable and wallow in self pity and despair or she can try to make something positive out of it. I'm glad to say that she took that to heart and especially since school started, she has made a nice circle of friends, she is totally loved by her teachers and in spite of having days when she tears up a little after she sky led with friends, I think she is moving on. At 16, she is almost an adult and she has to make her own mind up about things (especially her, bring the strong,opinionated character that she is). I'm hoping this will make her stronger but I'm very proud of her for having taken the bull by the horns and keeping her head high.

Edited by Pell
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