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Need to spread our wings but fearful


Annalisa

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Hello everyone

We are a young family of 4. My husband in John and we have two little boys aged 3 years and 8 months.

I'm aged 33 and hubby soon to be 35. We are a CA and attorney combination.

We finally have our VISA and coming to Australia in July to activate it but still so so scared about it all.

Our heart says no .....who really wants to leave their family and friends behind.....

On the other hand how do you stay in a country you have no faith left in anymore.

You have seen the impact on your own friends affected by crime....you have experienced the reverse apartheid and how it destroys a man's confidence who works hard but is now the wrong colour to move forward in their career and when you have two pale males whats on earth is their future.

We have an economic crisis that economists have started to draw statistics to show its not the work economic crisis damaging our economy only but predominantly domestic factors the government needs to address or we will all spiral downhill however the government is in denial.

I have been reading some forum discussions and feel right at home with the questions and just want to say thank you to everyone for their input before I even start.

Regards

Annalisa

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PM me if you want me to give you the details of RSA friends of ours in Sydney. They are a accountant/lawyer combo, so might be able to point you in the right direction. Or just relay your fears.

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Annalisa, I can understand completely, the fear of the unknown, HOWEVER, what about the fear of staying, especially with children? For me personally, that would be the greater fear.

There are so many that have made the move, all of us experienced different scenarios, but for the majority the decision has been the right one.

This forum has many answers for all the nagging questioms that you need answers to and the forum members are always willing to give a diverse view from many standpoints..

Welcome to our corner of the cyberworld, hope you find some new friends amongst us. Where are you planning on settling?

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Wow Mara, I've never thought of it like that... and it's so true....

Indeed, my fear of the unknown is great, but my fear of staying and raising kids in SA is even greater.

Thanks for your wisdom!

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Happy to be of assistance Gunner, they say as we grow older we grow wiser? I am very happy with my green grass in Australia.. as I have said before, I would rather be poor in Australia than rich in South Africa!

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Well welcome. Hope we can help you in your journey to discover what's right for your family.

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Thank you everyone for the welcome. We are thinking of settling in Brisbane or Melbourne so furiously researching both cities from rent to food costs to child care etc.

I am hoping to be able to set up appointments at a few audit firms when im there and hopefully an opportunity will present itself for me to come over with a job. My husband, being an attoney, will have to convert so may need to study a while....maybe cant work.

Its scary.

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Annalisa, I trust you know that your hubby can commence his studies whilst still in RSA? I do know of others that have done so, mostly through New South Wales, at the end they had to present themselves in Sydney to be admitted. I also think that it allows them to practice in any state in Australia.

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Just a thought - doesnt a CA have to do extra studying in tax law and such to get licensed?

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yes you are correct there are one or two small things to be done. I have two friends. One has been appointed as an audit partner and hence has to do exams immediately, Another has been a manager for a while and has not done anything other than in house training. It is something I want to consider doing ASAP

Thanks

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If you do need to do the tax conversion, it can be done through the tax institute by correspondence. may help to have a jump start.

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Leaving one's family and friends behind is never easy. The worst part for me is the time difference... when I need to hear my mom's voice I can't call because they are asleep. Sometimes I can't help but to cry a few silent tears when I see how much the children miss their grandparents. My grandfather passed away in January and I could not attend his funeral. It broke my heart to see my mom crying on the other end of the skype line and not being able to hold her.

Australia is definitely more expensive than South Africa and after being here for a year, we still struggle to understand why some things are so ridiculously expensive. This country also has a lot of challenges - like any country. BUT, if we had to make the choice again we would. My advise to anyone who wants to immigrate is to do it sooner than later. There is never a perfect time, but the sooner you can get into the job market, buy a house and get your kids settled the better.

We used to live in the Boland area on a prestigious golf estate and earned enough money to send the children to private schools and travel the world. But we've decided to give everything up because we realized that we just spend money to stay in our safe and cosy little bubble. We would never sent the kids to a South African university, so there is a big possibility that we would end up sending them overseas to study and that they would not return to South Africa. This may sound strange, but we did not leave because of the crime or fear but rather to give our children the gift of choices. If they work hard here, they can choose to become anything they want. Yes, the competition is fierce but at least they will be judged based on their hard work and abilities and not because of their skin colour. (How do you explain to a 10 year old that she is one of the best tennis player but she cannot be selected for a provincial team because she is white?).

Good luck to you and your family. As the saying goes: "Be bold and courageous. When you look back on your life, you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the ones you did"

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I have never wanted to raise my children in a country where anyone is despised for the colour of their skin. To me that applied to the old South Africa and, unfortunately, it is starting to apply to the new.

A child should start a life free - free of shame, free of fear, free to choose their own life path, free to have future overflowing with possibilities.

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Buzz

Can I just say that your email touched my heart. Your words resound with me so much because its exactly how we feel. My family has thankfully not been touched by crime and I hope never will bec that would be cherry on top.

Given he has someway to go first to get started on his career path we have discussed exactly that - he should possibly study and be at home for the first year or few months and we rent a place as economical as possible Im quite happy to settle out a little further from CBD and pay a little less rent so we can gear up for buying a nice house later.

I will give up my beautiful house in a heart beat to know my kids are safe and wont be prejudiced. We have seen first hand how my husband being a pale male is a problem can you imagine in 20 years when they need to enter university. NO THANK YOU I will never forgive myself if they cant do what they want because they at the bottom of the ladder due to skin colour.

The hard thing is my parents don't have this view. They keep saying to me....but there are so many couples like you, but you don't see everyone leaving. This place still has opportunites and how can you go there and become "poorer". NOT EVERYONE CAN LEAVE! Money qualifications etc

I want to put my parents first but my kids have to take preference! Yes we will be poorer but are the material things really worth that much?

And I think the SA's that fail are the ones that think they can uproot and live in Oz like they did in SA. Nope, you start to clean your own house hence buy smaller and it will be easier. That in itself reduces 2 stresses - cleaning and financial.

Thank you Buzz

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Annalisa, oz isn't for everyone. I have !any friends and family in South Africa. I would recommend to a lot of them that they stay in South Africa. You just can't walk around with rose tinted glasses.

The poor are furious with the government's performance. So the government will keep doing more stupid things to stay in power. Stupid things like pushing affirmative action regardless of how competent the candidates are.

The problem is the ANC needs to be voted out, so they can loose the freedom fighter legacy (and the promises they made during those years). I would be happy if they were voted back in with new plans for RSA and a good understanding that they actually have to better the lives of the poor to keep their jobs.

The reality is there is no money in being an IFP or any other black opposition party. Right now the wealthy whites are funding the ANC whether they like it or not. Just imagine how much corruption money is landing up in the ANCs bank account when politicians buy political good will. I don't even think Julius can compete with that kind of money.

But having said that. If you accept the current trajectory and plan accordingly, you can make South Africa work for you. Your biggest issue is the UK or Aussie may not accept you in 10 years when you get mugged and change your mind about emigrating.

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Thank you Monsta.

You know if you isolate the negatives in SA it really is probably one of the best places to live. I hope things do come right. If they do maybe the kids can go back. Im Italian and hubby Greek. I wish we could go back to our parents root homes but unfortunately its not an option - language and basic economic issues.

Unfortunately the vast majority will continue to vote ANC on legacy issues and not how they are currently performing and not keeping to their promises. Voting an opposition would seem the answer but at present the vast majority will abstain sadly from voting rather than vote an opposition. My biggest fear is if the youth start to vote for radical politics and not the ANC.

There is just so much uncertainty I fear that SA becomes like our neighbouring friends in Zimbabwe and then it is too late.

Many see it as wrong to leave - we are cowards maybe running away. I think its the most selfless thing ill do - give up everything for my kids future and then they can decide one day what to do

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  • 2 weeks later...

I feel exactly the same. We are making this move for our two beautiful boys. I want them to be whatever their little hearts desire and we need to give them every opportunity to do just that.

Unfortunately I don't feel like South Africa can give us that at this point in time. If one day my children feel they want to come back, I will support them but right now I have to secure their future.

I want them to make career choices based on passion and love and not based on what they need to be to earn a salary.

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Why is it that wanting a better life for you and youre family is wrong? When I left the UK 11 years ago to SA my parents told me to go live and find happiness, and I have found happiness here, Ive made great friends and SA is such a beautiful country, even my parents who came out to SA 2 years ago said it was the the best holiday they ever had. Its a truly stunning place. But for a holiday yes to live thats another story. My turning point came when I had my son, I just knew that I wanted more for him, I became protective of him and knew it was my responsibility to ensure he had a good life and opportunities. I dont see that happening for him in SA. Time and time again friends tell me how they are overlooked when it comes to promotions, at my husbands work its blatant where its a jobs for pals mentality...the blind leading the blind..and im sorry to burst anyones bubble but it wont improve.

Its scary yes but like Mara said staying is even scarier. Ive had friends hijacked, one was knifed as he was coming home from work in his driveway, just a month ago my friend's house was burgled while they were all sleeping. That could have turned out very different as how many burglaries do you hear of in the news were the whole family is killed or women raped? Its horrendous.

I dont care if we live in a small shack aslong as we are happy and safe.

Good luck on youre journey theres lots of great people here to lean on if you need encouragement:-)

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