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Opinion/suggestions please *ACT


Usha

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hello everyone,

i was granted my residency visa in 2013 and activited the Visa in March 2013 (sponsored by ACT). It's taking us a while to wind up things in SA before we can move over, but my current thought at the moment is that I should come over to Canberra by the end of this year with my 2 kids (aged 5 and 3) and get them into school etc. while hubby stays and sort things out in SA, and well, support us in Aus from SA.

Has anyone done something similar?

what are the challenges one faces in terms of sending money over for rent, etc?

what should i be aware/weary of?

your input will be most appreciated.

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Usha, perhaps a bit more information will assist us in giving you some advice.

You ask about sending money over for rent, I presume from RSA to Aus?

Are you planning to work?

If you are going to look for a rental, without employment, you may have to offer three months rent in advance in order to secure a rental. You may also have to show a bank statement to prove that you can afford it.

You say you want to put your kids in school, the oldest will probably be going to junior school I expect, but the 3 year old will be going to nursery school (excuse me, no kids, so I do not know all the terms) which could be expensive, I am sure someone will give you the prices you can expect to pay.

It is a tough time when you first come to settle, to do so with two young kids and no support will definitely be a lot tougher, can be done, but I would say only do so if you have no other choice.

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I came over in July with two kids, hubby followed only at the end of October. It was circumstantial, and couldn't be avoided.

It is definitely do-able, but unless you have an awful, rocky marriage and desperately need a break from each other, it isn't desirable.

Anyone here will tell you that immigration is HARD and sometimes it can take you by surprise. To be alone with two kids, especially kids so young will be very difficult, especially without a support structure.

If you do take this step, try to have an end goal on sight, ie a timeline of how long this will be for. It really helps to know that it is only for x more months or weeks when the going gets tough.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi ALL,

and thanks for the input. To answer your questions _ Yes the expectation is for Hubby to send money from RSA to us to cover rent, food etc. I don't plan on working, as my kids are small. i just want to get them settled in school and be there for them afterwards.

Marriage is on sound footing, hubby is a bit of a procrastinator and my thinking is that if i move with the kids that will ignite the fire in him to wake up and do something and start sorting out the stuff on this side. I'm also getting edgy as time goes by, he's going to be 43 this year and me 39 and i'm worried about being unemployable if we leave it for too long.

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Usha, it's not my place, I don't know you at all, but I would beg you to think about this very very seriously. Perhaps share your thinking with hubby, so he can see how serious you are about it.

Pretend the situation is reversed, and hubby has gone ahead, leaving you behind in SA with the kids. Imagine your daily life. Who will you call on for support? Maid? Friends? Family? Nope, all gone. What will you do all day - be in your nice house surrounded by your own things? Nope, had to leave half of them behind because the house is too small and what is left is still in boxes because you don't have the energy to unpack on your own.

Let's go out to the supermarket. But you don't know where it is. Once you find it, inevitably it will take ages before you can do a full shop without leaving something behind because you just don't know the layout. Let's put petrol in. Can't get the cap of the frigging tank, so let's give up before we've even started (happened to me).

Finally let's reach the end of the day - a day in which you've had to little people gazing up at you with big eyes, scared and confused and you daren't show them that Mommy is also scared and confused. Let's say you've finally put them to bed and you just want to collapse and be given a great big hug. But there is nobody there to hug you. You can't get skype working because you are technologically illiterate (again, happened to me), so you settle for a "supportive" text message. Or you do get through, but he can't take the call because he is busy with the very stressful job which is paying all the bills, so can't talk for long.

I know I am painting the ultimate doom and gloom, and it won't last forever, but this is emotionally draining. You can't push (or in your case pull) someone to emigrate, they need to be behind it 120%.

But if you do do this, make sure you set the forum as your home page. They saved my sanity!

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To be honest, I think it will be hard on you. It's really an extremely emotional process and you need your person. You need that comfort at night, just to snuggle next to someone in a big strange country. But that said, here in Canberra there is amazing support, you just have to ask

Remember that people have their own very busy lives and it's easy to forget that someone who is new, might need some TLC. Therefore, dont be shy to ask and say, hey! I need a coffee date pronto! If you are not going to work it might work out better because you can do all sorts of fun stuff with the kids, bear in mind that everything is expensive. I have gotten used to the dollar by now but taking the kids to the dinosaur museum will be $15 for you and $10 per child. can easily be a R150 trip. If money is coming from SA everything will be horribly expensive to you. R50 for a coffee...you get my drift :)

How sure are you that everything will wrap up and hubby follow soon? I cannot discount the adventure feeling we as a family had. That to me was priceless and Im endlessly glad that we shared it together. The airport, the flight, the trip to Canberra, the searching of street names, the giggling of weird suburb names. we need to share and you will miss out on that

But if and when you do arrive, please feel free to contact me and have a get together. my kids are a little older, 9 and 10 but they love having friends over :)

good luck with everything, whatever you choose to do, there will be support for you

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hello everyone,

thank you so much for your honest thoughts. I sense their genuineness and am touched with your concern. You have raised some truly valid points, and thus i will reconsider this thought.

Truly greatful for the benefits of this fourm.

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