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The time is right


MyTimeNow

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I've recently found that journalling helps process thoughts and emotions, and because so many of the stories on this forum have helped me, I thought it fitting to share my journey. I'm by no means an aspiring writer, and I know that although each of our journeys are unique, there will likely be someone who can identify with my experiences, and perhaps gain some insight for their own journey. And journalling helps me... so win-win :D

The years leading up to today contain the hopes and dreams of a young couple, a crumbled marriage, a broken heart, and lots of therapy. For those of you embarking on this immigration journey alone, believe me when I say that it's very tough, really very tough unless you have other amazing people in your life who will support you. But in the end you will get on the plane alone.... What I can say is that it's do-able, and there have been other before me... you can do it, and I know that I can too :blush-anim-cl: . I am stronger than I ever thought, and I am more worthy of love and a fulfilled life, than I ever believed. And before I get too melancholy, that's all I really want to say about that....

Fast forward to the here and now... 47 days to go...

Decided in Jan 2014 that I would leave end of 2014, mulled around until July when I booked my ticket and made my to-do lists.

The first kick-in-the-gut realisation of what I was really doing came when I handed over my credit card to pay for the ONE-WAY ticket.... :unsure: . The travel agent was actually quite nice, and took the time to go through all the details of the ticket, luggage etc.

Regarding work... after being a workaholic for a long time, my boss nearly fell over when I told him I was leaving. He was grateful since I had essentially given him 6 months notice. I've given my heart and soul to this company, and they were a big reason for me to actually stay in SA, but I knew my life was bigger than this company, regardless of how much I love it. After quite a few applicants we have still not found a replacement... I leave (as in get on the plane!) on 24 Nov, and have still not resigned.... some call it commitment, others call it stupidity... today I'm hovering closer to the stupidity end!!

The past few weeks at work people have really started pulling away. That I can (somewhat) handle, but it's the side-lining me and undermining me and my responsibilities that I can't.... making decisions about my work without me, and undermining me... I thought executives and directors have the maturity to handle tough situations like not being able to replace a key critical role, but alas (not sure why I'm still surprised)... So, I will be resigning this week, and will try my utmost to start letting go, and not feeling guilty for "abandoning" them. :glare: I will try though to keep it light and keep on a good footing. They may still throw some work my way after I leave and having that bit of income, before I find work in Oz, will be welcome. It may also get me a foot in the door in our company's Australian offices .... tricky tricky...

Unfortunately it's not only the "family" at work that's pulling away, it's been (actual) family and friends too. I've heard and read so much about not holding it against them because it's their way of coping.... well, I don't like it and it still hurts. It has amazed me though that there have been one or two acquaintances, people I have not been close with at all never mind an emotional connection, who have been more supportive and caring than my own family. I'm very grateful for these angels that God has put in my life just when I needed them.

On a practical level, the to-do list is slowly being crossed off:

Dog and two cats go to their new home this weekend :cry:

Final sorting of stuff and cleaning of furniture in 2 weeks time

​Movers come the first week in Nov

DSTV and Vodacom will be cancelled early in Nov (I'm expecting hassles with these so I won't be disappointed when it happens :blush-anim-cl: )

Other bits and pieces etc., etc......

In case you wondered... I'm renting, so no house to sell, and I don't have kids (besides the furry ones that is) - which leaves my life a little less complicated on a practical level.

That's about it for today, thanks for reading...

Next chapter... resigning and saying good-bye to the furry kids...

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Wish you the best with your journey Candice! Keep up the journal. You are correct in saying it works in more ways than one.

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The pulling away of key people in my life hurt a lot.

In fact it is still hurting! :unsure:

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So the next installment is a sad one I'm afraid...

I resigned at work - sad because I really love my job and the people. A relatively rare thing amongst people I know. Also bitter sweet because I realised that in the resignation agreement I'll still be working right up until the Friday before the Monday I fly out!! A bit silly (read idiotic) on my part. But there's a project that is run solely by me, and the timelines clash horribly with my leaving. I know it's not my problem.... But, as many of us are, I am not a "not my problem" kind of person.... Much to my own detriment I know. At least my move to Australia is completely my own, and as I mentioned before, the first big thing that I've done purely for me. Anyway, I'm trying to find other options for the project at work so I can leave sooner. Will let you know how that goes....

The 'sweet' part about resigning is that they're contracting me for 3 hours a day for the first two weeks in December. I'm a researcher so some work I can do remotely, so win-win. I will have a week after I land to get my bearings. And I think knowing I'll have some money in Dec is nice. I just hope I'm not over extending my self... But right now I think it's ok.

And the MOST heart breaking thing I did this weekend... Take my dog and 2 cats to their new home!! My brother and sister-in-law are taking them in, which I will be eternally grateful for. They are true animal-lovers so I am very blessed for this.

I cried all the way in the car taking my beloved furry kids to their new home - it hit me like a ton of bricks as soon as I started the car!!! My brother and his wife were great in quickly settling in the cats into one of the bedrooms, and made me a big cup of tea!! My dog (cute little 14 year old jack Russell cross Maltese) fitted in almost immediately with their two lovable miniature poodles. So that was a relief.

Cats though, are a little trickier.... For like minded souls, I am a Jackson Galaxy uber-fan :D. I have an 8 year old tabby and a 2 year old stray I took in a year ago (yes, not great taking in a stray when I know I'm leaving the country, but I couldn't just leave him). Both of them bolted for beneath the bed when released from their travel boxes, and stayed there the rest of the weekend.... They are not used to boisterous dogs, so the poodles were a shock for them! My heart broke... This pain is going to take a while to heal...

I stayed there for the weekend and although by the time I left we could leave the bed room door open without the cats making a dash for it and without the other dogs racing in and scaring them, I am still worried about them all getting along. I know it takes time. I know how long it took the last time I moved, and that was just us moving, not to mention now having other pets in the mix!! I know they'll find their way, and may hiss and growl a bit, but I'm still worried...

And heart-sore, because I'm now back at my home... Alone, without my beloved pets, and there's a big hole in my soul :(

I have 42 days to go, and I will definitely see my animals again... Well, as much as what my brother will allow me to without becoming a nuisance that is !!

Movers coming in 22 days, so some sorting still to do...

This week to-do: some financial immigration forms, bank forms, forex forms, and meeting with a company who will hopefully buy my car.

For those I didn't believe about the physical and emotional roller coaster this immigration journey is at this phase of the process, I wish I had believed.... I think I wholly underestimated the impact. But one day at a time is working for me right now !

Until next time, hopefully less sad news ;)

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39 days to go....

Happy news on this post :D - clearly the roller coaster has made a turn and it's calm now.... or maybe its that calm feeling you get when you chug along going up and up on the roller coaster, just before you hover at the top and, well........ But I'm enjoying the peaceful bit for now :ilikeit:

I've been getting daily updates on how my pets are settling in.... so nice!

I'm please to report that little doggie has fitted in with my brother, his wife and their pets. The cats are still keeping to the bedroom where they've been put, but are slowly venturing out of the bedroom at night (poor little things are used to having the entire neighbourhood to roam at night)... only one little incident so far - they came face to face with their geriatric cat in the passage in the middle of the night and after much hissing both bolted in different directions! At least no blood was drawn. :blink:

And to think I was more worried about the dogs and cats getting along - I should have worried more about all the cats getting along!!

And moving on....

Movers booked for 4 Nov - 3 weeks time .... :ilikeit:

Anyone have experiences with webuycars.co.za?

I contacted them today to see what they'll give me for my car. I have good references from two colleagues who have used them. From what my colleagues say and what their website says, they take care of all the paperwork, and you have the cash in your account in a few days. Luckily my car is paid off, so no hassles to involve banks. I'm hoping to get about R150k for my car - so it's nothing to sneeze at and will go a long in helping me settle in once I get to Canberra. They seem jacked-up, but the South African in me thinks mmmmm :unsure:

That's about it for today!

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32 days to go...

One of my cats has gone missing! They went to their new home last week, and the one little one made a dash for the door when he saw the gap! My sister-in-law feels terrible and has put up posters, but you know, cats are different - they just need us to open the can of food.... so we're hoping he'll make an appearance soon. I'm less worried because he used to be a stray, so I think he can hold his own for a while.

I've also managed to catch bronchitis - can you believe it!! :stretcher: I'm now on the 2nd course of meds including cortisone!! I'm pretty man-down, and can barely walk 10 steps without needing to sit down! Timing is not great - but at least I have some time left in SA to recoup. I really don't want to be sick when I land!

But I think my body is telling me to take it easy... so I'm trying to do just that ^_^

And I think I haven't done myself any favours by agreeing to work up until 21 Nov (I leave on 24 Nov), although it's only half day.

So that's it for today.

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I was sick for a while before we went, and we have been here 3 weeks now, and I got sick again! I feel like an invalid! I think one cant underestimate the stress and the effext on your immune system...

Hang in there. It can only get better, right? :ilikeit:

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It's amazing how our bodies can react to certain situations of stress... And in a way forces you to take it just a little easier. So I hope you Ladies listen to your bodies and take it a bit easier. I hope you both feel much better soon.

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Thanks Neels, I will be making a serious concerted effort. I have a month to go and will have a single focus ?

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Hi All.

Candice, Neels and Eyebrow... Thank you for all your posts. I've taken in so much and every bit helps. Please don't stop posting your journal entries... I'm feeling inspired by all of it.

We booked our flights yesterday to leave on the 23rd of Jan next year... Emotions are everywhere.

Anyway, looking forward to reading more posts/entries.

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So it's 3 weeks to go.... Some days it feels too little time left, but other days it feels like it's still too far away!

The movers come tomorrow.... I hope I've managed to sort out and organise all my earthly belongings. I've been quite ruthless in the last few days, throwing out or giving away anything I hesitate on taking with me! I'm sure if anyone took a cursory glance at my cargo, they would think I'm importing a scrapbook shop!!! I'm a bit of a self confessed scrapbook addict, so I make no excuses :). I can assure you there is some kitchen-type bits and pieces, a couch or two and some clothes ;)

After tomorrow, I have 8 days at work left. Can wait actually. Work seems to be a futile chore right now, my entire focus now is getting on the plane to start my new life.

I'm still struggling a bit with a lingering cough from the bronchitis, but I'm doing better each day. I'm thinking I should get one of those super-deluxe vitamin booster injections just to give my immune system a good pick-me-up. I think I'll schedule that between the hair cut and the pedicure in the last few days :)

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Wow CandiceW, how time flies hey? When is your flight out?

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Hey Neels, my flight is on 24 Nov.... Yup, time is marching on!, and before I know it, I'll be on that jet plane!

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I'm landing 1st Dec..

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So the movers came yesterday... Boy, these guys are serious when it comes to packing! I don't have too much stuff, and am not taking bed, fridge and washing machine, so they finished in just over 6 hours! They packed the truck they came in to the brim, I was impressed!! They were a team of 6 and were really friendly (I used Magna Thomson for those wondering).

Emotionally the first hour was quite a whirlwind. So much activity and people in every inch of my earthly possessions.... It was overwhelming and I kind of stood in the corner and must have looked like a deer in headlights

But then I started relaxing, took a seat on the patio and just watched it all unfold. It turned out to be a tiring day, even though I sat on my behind most of it!! By 6pm I was exhausted so I went to bed!!

The house is eerily empty... My folks are begging me to come stay with them now until I leave in 19 days time. I'm so used to being on my own and having my own space that I'm hesitant.... And I forgot to keep out a cup for myself, so I can't even make coffee with the borrowed kettle . So I think I'll stick it out until the weekend and then move to my folks. I'm at work all day anyway. I've paid the rent up to end Nov, so there's no rush to go.

Back at work again today, and I have 7 working days left.... Felt like just the other day I told my boss I was going, but that was 6 months ago! At least some of the work projects have reshuffled, so I will have a full week off before I fly out - much better than working to the last day .

With the move behind me, that's another big milestone done. Now to tackle Vodacom.... Oi....

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Best of luck with everything Candice. You are very brave. Enjoy the last few days in SA. Look forward to an update once you've settled.

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It's my last day at work tomorrow, and I probably have 3 days worth of work still to do!! I'm determined to leave it all behind tomorrow so pray it's smooth going . I have loved my job so it's a bit bitter sweet. People have had very nice things to say, and I'm appreciating it very much!

Had a few farewell drinks, coffees and dinners this week which have been very nice.next big thing is to finish off work....

10 days left now

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So the last day of work was a hectic one! I was still finishing off a report at 4pm.... And a final parting gift.... The flu... Can you believe it!!!!

I have 7 days and 20 hours left, and after battling bronchitis a few weeks back, struggling with fatigue and a lingering cough, I now have a throat infection and a fever! I know that it's just all the stress culminating, and partly my own fault for keeping a manic pace and not eating and sleeping well.

I know that finishing off at work will be a big release and will free up a large portion of my physical and emotional energy. I also moved in with my folks for these last few days, and I must say I'm enjoying being doted on.... Even though I'm a big girl!! I went to the doctor and got various meds and an antibiotic, and spent the day literally doing nothing - just what I think I needed.

So, this coming week, I just have one or two things to wrap up and a few people to see, so it will not be frenetic

Boy, these last few weeks have flown by, and feels a little surreal that I only have a week left - yikes!!

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Good on you CandiceW! I hope you get well soon. Rest and relaxation is the best meds!.. Take it easy.

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Good luck, CandiceW - you were very lucky with your animals. I still have not found a home for mine and I am 1 month away from leaving. It is heartbreaking....!

People at work see me as a kind of traitor, I get all the crap jobs to do and some people have taken to talking to me via email. The women especially. I know jealousy when I see it, so I try not to take note. No use having feelings....

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What a journey.... The 24th is insight now... I am thinking of you and hope you are enjoying the fruits of all you have here.... Embrace what you can .... Next week brings a new chapter to your life. Wishing you treasured goodbyes and many fantastic experiences in what is to be your new home. Go well!

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Such kind words, thanks Crossingover . You will follow before you know it!

I'm pleased to say the flu is gone, and just a residual cough left - so the antibiotics and other handful of meds have helped!!

Today the buyers fetched my car so I'm officially using mom's taxi - which is a little weird at my age , but it's actuall been quite nice to spend these last few days with the folks.

I said good bye to both my grannies yesterday. One is 91 and the other is 94 years old... They don't really understand what is that I'm doing, but it was sad for me because I likely won't ever see them again. I also said good bye to my aunt and uncle, which was very sad too - they've been very close to me in the last 10 years, but I'm glad they are facebook and Skype fans!! One friend left to say good bye to over the weekend, and then just my parent and brother and SIL.... I still don't know how I'm going to actually say goodbye... Although we're not a very close-live-in-one-another's-pockets type of family, they're still family....so I still need to sleep on this ...

Tomorrow I'm off to the Spa... For massages, facial, mani, pedi and all round pampering. A farewell gift from work which was very thoughtful!

So that's it from me today... A little healthier and little less stressed

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And so the countdown has turned into hours..... 22 hours to be exact

Spent a great day with my close family. Great braai with lamb chops and mom's potato salad, and some lovely Gauteng rain. Some tears were shed, but lots of laughs too.

Tomorrow morning I'll pack and recheck the weight of the suitcases (should still be less than 40kg, even after a little shopping this week)

I'm feeling strangely calm, but really just feeling very ready. The time is now really RIGHT

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Oh CandiceW, it's your turn, oh I'm SO HAPPY FOR YOU !!! May you have a smooth, restful and happy flight, may all the flight attendants smile at you, may the food be out of heaven, may your landing be smooth and your arrival a wonderful, memorable moment !! Please keep us posted and tell us how you settle in !!
Bon Voyage !!

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