ZambianStalker Posted July 25, 2014 Report Share Posted July 25, 2014 Hiya I’ve been lurking around, stalking you all, reading everything for almost 2 months now.And then I felt guilty and decided to register!Truth is, I don’t think I have much value to add to this forum, but anyhoot. Here I am...feeling less guilty about the stalking.I have never been to Australia, I have no immediate plans to move there either. All I have is this intense yearning to go live somewhere like Australia; a first world country.My husband and I live in Lusaka, Zambia. The people are very friendly. There is (believe it or not) very little crime here and definitely no violent crime as in SA. We feel safe and free. In the 5 years we’ve been here we have never once heard of any hijacking, attack, house robbery etc. I did hear about an attempted bank robbery in a dodgy area which took place a couple of years back and I believe the police shot and killed some of the robbers. (Here the police shoot firs and ask questions later) So yeh, we ain’t never, ever, ever, ever moving back to South Africa.So why would I want to leave Zambia? Selfish reasons.I realise this will probably sounds like something close to racism, and for that I apologise. The thing is just that I miss “my people”. I am the only white person working at a company of 35 employees. It gets lonely. All my bosses, work colleagues and most of my clients are all black Zambians. And even if i moved to another company it would be much of the same, as in Zambia there simply aren’t that many white people. I am sure I would have felt the same way if I was the only black employee among 34 white colleagues. Their culture is so far removed from mine that I know I will always be an outsider and as a result, I have started hating my job and often think of quitting and just sitting at home .I WANT TO LIVE IN A COUNTRY WHERE THERE ARE SO MANY WHITES THAT FOR WHICHEVER FIRM I WORK, AT LEAST 25% OF THE STAFF WILL BE WHITE. Even in SA I could find the opportunity to work for a company like that, but then I would be working in SA which is not an option for us, ever.I hate how unbelievably expensive everything here is and the prices keep increasing more and more. Not sure what the situation is now (as I’ve stopped looking at prices and trying to convert to Rands) but at one stage you could take anything off the rack and know that item costs exactly double than what it would cost you in SA.I hate not being able to find things, especially in the line of toiletries. Things I have tried to find this year without any luck: Appropriate curtains for spare bedroom, my face moisturizer, self tanning lotion, arts and crafts supplies (such as mod podge and just plain ol stretch canvas), a decent birthday present for my husband, a 2014 dairy, jackets for work, blue berries.. lol.It’s very frustrating. For things we can’t live without, we have to just put it on a list and wait until we visit SA or can find someone who can bring it in for us from SA. I WANT TO LIVE IN A COUNTRY WHERE I HAVE EASY ACCESS TO THE LITTLE MATERIAL THINGS US GIRLS VALUE SO MUCH.Medical services here scare us to the point where we had to ask our medical aid in SA to send an air ambulance to come and get me on two occasions when I needed emergency surgery. I have a very serious allergy for bee stings and I know if I ever get stung, chances are that would be the end for me. So, as a result, I am not enjoying the great outdoors as much as I used to which is depressing. I WANT TO LIVE IN A COUNTRY WHERE I DONT CONSTANTLY FEAR THE DAY I MIGHT NEED TO GO TO HOSPITAL.The roads here are bloody awful. Large areas of the city go without electricity for hours on end every single day. Same goes for water.The above are just 3 reasons, but the biggest reason by far is that I’m trying to fall pregnant. And once i’m pregnant I just know that all these reasons will be magnified. When I think about children, and the future of an African country like Zambia and what that would mean for my childrens’ futures... that’s when I end up on forums like this one.For all of you trying to get to Aus.. I wish you the very best of luck and may you all succeed. And I will dream of being able to do the same one day too.Greets,The Zambian Stalker 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HadEnoughofJuju Posted July 25, 2014 Report Share Posted July 25, 2014 Hey there ZambianStalker. Welcome to the forum. No matter how small the contribution, we all have something to add. I think the single biggest motivation for people wanting to leave Africa is their kids futures. It was definitely one of the driving forces behind our move.Good luck with the rest of the journey and process. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosa1035 Posted July 25, 2014 Report Share Posted July 25, 2014 Hi Zambian Stalker!Pleased to make your acquaintance, now that you have come out from the shadows! I must admit, I spend more time stalking than interacting myself, as I don't have too much to offer either. We only lodged our application this week Monday (Yay!), so are still at a relatively early stage in the whole process.Everything you say makes perfect sense, and I certainly do not think you are racist at all. It really is about cultural differences, and it is a natural human desire to be around those whose culture matches yours. And it isn't always race related, just culture. I have a British passport, and have lived their intermittently over the years, but truthfully I don't find I am a cultural 'fit' with the Brits. I find them very apathetic (don't mean to offend anyone!), and classist. It really is a case of being born into a certain 'class', and that's where you must stay, (Central London I think is different, but I wouldn't chose to settle there permanently!) I spent a year there after high school, and when I said I wanted to be a receptionist whilst I studied, I was scorned. Told I should work in a shop for the rest of my life, as thats what young ladies did! Needless to say I get great joy telling those same family members that I have run my own successful business for 12 years now! Heehee. Anyway, point is, culture is very important, and when the hubby and I visited Aus last year, it felt like coming home. There is a warmth there that is so welcoming, and the prospect of living in safety, is overpowering. At least where you are now, you feel safe, and are safe. That is something incredible, so count those blessings. I do hope that one day you will be able to make your way to Aus, if only for a visit.Best of luck with everything!xx 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZambianStalker Posted July 25, 2014 Author Report Share Posted July 25, 2014 Oh yeah.. i guess i can hope and dream that some miracle will occur and Zambia will turn into this amazing first world country. It's all about the kids isn't it. If i never have children, well then i suppose i can live here for the rest of my life. But that's not much of a life. I do try, everyday, to think of something i love about this country and even about my workplace. Staying positive.As for the visit to AUS ... oh yeah baby! Definately happening next year. I am saving up my meager salary to take either my husband or my sister to Sydney > Canberra > Adelaide > Perth. I have a cousin and his family living in Perth and have not seen them since I was a kid. Something to look forward to. Oh, and thanks for having me x 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mel-B Posted July 25, 2014 Report Share Posted July 25, 2014 Feeling dissatisfied with a place that is supposed to be home is mighty frustrating. We all have our own reasons, but I think its totally normal wanting to feel like you belong! I think we all stalk hehehe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bigvan07 Posted July 25, 2014 Report Share Posted July 25, 2014 Hi Zambian Stalker,Welcome to the forum.@you and Rosa. I also don't have anything to add, but it is nice to interact with the people on the forum, even just for chit chat. For instance we are throwing stories back and forth between the Vaalies and the banana republic, yes I am looking at you Surferman and Heojj Correct me if I am wrong, but 90% of the time the driving force to move to Aus is our children, well for me it is at least.Good luck, hope you guys get your dream soon! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tazzn Posted July 25, 2014 Report Share Posted July 25, 2014 Hi StalkerPersonally I feel if anything makes your life unhappy it's worth trying to change it. the fact that you are saving for a trip is awesome. Maybe that will help cement a decision in your mind Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZambianStalker Posted July 25, 2014 Author Report Share Posted July 25, 2014 I agree with you 100% Tazzn. So I did try earlier this year to convince hubby that moving to Aus would be the right thing to do and that we should do it NOW. But i've given up on that as it was causing me too much anxiety. And at some point you have to just let go of things for the sake of your own sanity (and marriage). I am making peace with the fact that I have to live in this country. Well, actually no.. it's a choice. Because I choose to live where my husband lives. He has a fantastic job and gets mega $$$$ and he can't see the value of moving to Aus. He is 46 and by the time we have kids and he realizes what i already realize now, it might be too late for him to get a visa. My visit to Australia(and hopefully taking hubby with me)comes with the ulterior motive that when he goes there, he will love it so much that he decides to move there (long shot, but hey i'm a dreamer!) All is not lost for us. If he finally get to the point where I am now, I might be in a good position to get a visa and take him with. (I only just got my degree and don't have much industry experience yet) Well, that's me being all positive for a change. Have a great weekend guys x 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eyebrow Posted July 25, 2014 Report Share Posted July 25, 2014 Welcome to the forum.I also feel like I have nothing to add. And that I take more than I give...But here I am... We live in relatively nice Cape Town. But also want to move for kids' sake. Same as, maybe 90%(?), of forum. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
julesktm1 Posted July 25, 2014 Report Share Posted July 25, 2014 Hi there. We live in the Copperbelt Kitwe and more than likely will move at the end of the year. Best of luck. Let me know if I can help in anyway. Xxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KalahariHarry Posted July 25, 2014 Report Share Posted July 25, 2014 Welcome stalker. We started the process 2 months before Liam was born. We now have our pr visa, so leaving soon. Good luck with your trip next year. Trev Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eva Posted July 26, 2014 Report Share Posted July 26, 2014 welcome to the forum! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZambianStalker Posted July 28, 2014 Author Report Share Posted July 28, 2014 Thanks for all the welcomes @ Julesktm: How long have you been in Kitwe? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
julesktm1 Posted July 28, 2014 Report Share Posted July 28, 2014 We have been in Kitwe for twelve years. Zambia has been so kind to us I will definetely miss it without a shadow of a doubt. Contact me if you need anything xx 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndreaL Posted July 28, 2014 Report Share Posted July 28, 2014 Hello and welcome to the forum.I do feel for you, because I can see hubby's reasons for wanting to stay and yours for wanting to leave.I lived in Namibia for a few years and had the same issues re medical care, either 900km up to Windhoek or down to Cape Town and also had to be medi-vacced out due to pregnancy complications................a very scary time!I would have stayed in Namibia, but work permits became scarcer, so we had to make a move and chose Australia.I hope you manage to get hubby to visit. Good luck. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parks Posted July 29, 2014 Report Share Posted July 29, 2014 Hi ZambianStalker,Hang in there, I wanted to make the move 9 years ago when mates of ours left, but hubby wasn't keen as life was good to us. A wise friend told me to give it a break as it was becoming an issue, and as I was the one who had changed the game plan by wanting to emigrate, I was the one out of line. I gave up the dream as my marriage meant more to me.Fast forward 6 years and all of a sudden he was ready. 3 years later and we now have our visas.I am sure having 3 kids helped cement the idea.Best of luck, I hope it all works out for you in the end 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theunis Posted July 29, 2014 Report Share Posted July 29, 2014 Hi ZambianStalkerI have also been reading everything in the forum religiously for the last three months and this is actually my first comment on it. My in laws have been on my case from 2006 to consider immigrating and i have always hated the topic as I was building my career and chose to ignore the negative things in SA. After the birth of our second child In March this year I woke up one morning and knew that the time is now. Every day I wake up and look at my children I just know that there is no future for them here and that they deserve better. Our visas will be lodged sometime this week and we then await the outcome. Africa is Africa and we will always hope for it to get better but it will not. Make contact with an agent for an obligation free assessment just to see what your options are and from there go with your gut. Good luck 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parks Posted July 30, 2014 Report Share Posted July 30, 2014 Hi ZambianSgrandchildrenI have also been reading everything in the forum religiously for the last three months and this is actually my first comment on it. My in laws have been on my case from 2006 to consider immigrating and i have always hated the topic as I was building my career and chose to ignore the negative things in SA. After the birth of our second child In March this year I woke up one morning and knew that the time is now. Every day I wake up and look at my children I just know that there is no future for them here and that they deserve better. Our visas will be lodged sometime this week and we then await the outcome. Africa is Africa and we will always hope for it to get better but it will not. Make contact with an agent for an obligation free assessment just to see what your options are and from there go with your gut.Good luckHi Theunis,Welcome to the forum. This is a place where all likeminded people can post just about anything. Its truly addictive.Your in laws sound like my folks, they want the best for us and their grandchildren. Its so great to have their support as it makes the whole process a little easier.Best of luck with your visa, you are almost there. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZambianStalker Posted July 30, 2014 Author Report Share Posted July 30, 2014 Last night I was doing some soul searching. All these things I want for my kids (who aren't even born yet!) and believe they can only have in a country like Australia.. what if I am being a bit overambitious and ungrateful at the same time? Some have asked me why I can't just be happy with what I have. "There are far worse countries to be living in" they say. And it is true. I should be grateful for what I have here in Zambia. Things could definitely be a lot worse. And i guess that is my worry too.. that things WILL get worse. This is africa after all. Thing is, I pretty much grew up without all these things which I now want for my kids. I turned out okay. My life isn't a complete disaster. But is it so wrong to want my kids to have it better than I did and to ensure they don't have to go through the same anxiety with their kids one day? Even if I never manage to make it to Australia/NZ, I will be spending my life trying to ensure my kids end up there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theunis Posted July 30, 2014 Report Share Posted July 30, 2014 I promise you kids are a massive game changer. Financially we also do pretty well in SA however there is no gaurantee that it will continue. Moving to Aus is by no means a financial decision as we will take massive steps backward, but we will be safe and truly free which I think once you get used to that lifestyle its the best thing to have. One of our very rich clients (80 year old lady) was attacked and assulted on her farm recenlty and that proved to me that no amount of money can buy you safety in africa. Anyway just how I see it.......do the homework and research, open the door to another country to at least have an option. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SAHort Posted July 31, 2014 Report Share Posted July 31, 2014 Yeah really like your comments Theunis, I think living in Africa is a bit like playing Russian Roulette, you never know when or if you're going to get the bullet but you know its there.My dad is from Zambia so have visited on a number of occasions and its definitely proof that poverty doesn't have to be an excuse for violent crime as we so often hear in SA. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oceanview Posted July 31, 2014 Report Share Posted July 31, 2014 Hi ZambianStalker,I met my husband 8 years ago and have been (seasonally) nagging him to consider immigration and suddenly, he feels ready to make the move as well. It definitely helped that we have a 2 year old daughter now. It is amazing how children can change the way we see the world!!Keep trying (and nagging)... I am sure it will be worth it.You can see our introduction under "Great Coetzoo Trek", our whole (tiny) family is starting out on this new adventure...Good luck! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alida Posted July 31, 2014 Report Share Posted July 31, 2014 Hi ZambianStalker, EVERY ONE OF US does contribute something here. Just you being here is good and right and a contribution in itself. And if you only 'take' and think you give nothing, you've given someone else the opportunity to do something good ! I guess you know what I want to say ! Children is for sure the biggest game changer for most of us. It's because of little defenseless people that we make the move too. So if I may sing my song: Love life as much as possible where you are, get pregnant and pray for your hubby ! A baby on the way opens up doors in daddies' minds that has been shut naturally up till then. The responsibility of caring for such a helpless, dependent baby makes a man see life completely different. Values change quickly from MY pocket to BABY'S health, safety and future. It's part of the package. And it is natural. A man takes the world as it is NOW and do something about it. It's us women that 'sees' future possible circumstances and try to do something about it beforehand.I was on the immigration-station myself way before hubby, but the day he jumped on and took the lead, things MOVED ! He organised everything and I could follow, focusing on 'my part' only.Welcome to this forum-family, it's fun and it's addictive ! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Theunis Posted August 1, 2014 Report Share Posted August 1, 2014 I'd like to compare immigrating to getting engaged or married or having a baby from a man's perspective....or mine at least.We refuse point blank and one morning just wake up ready for it.....and then its go time. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZambianStalker Posted August 5, 2014 Author Report Share Posted August 5, 2014 Thanks for telling me your stories guys. I really appreciate the input and encouragement. Who knows, maybe my hubby will wake up too :)For now, it's all about *project making baby* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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