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If not now then when?


Eyebrow

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I first thought about emigrating in 2007.

It briefly crossed my mind when my eldest son (5y old then) came home from nursery school and asked me: "I have just noticed that all the children at school that is ugly to me's skin is darker than mine", or something along that line...

I asked him if he was unhappy there and he said yes. I asked whether he was unhappy enough to move house? And he said yes again.

At this stage I thought that if we have to move everytime he is unhappy about someone with a darker skin being nasty to him, we should probably move abroad... But I was still doing my post grad studying at that stage, and it was not an option.

But we moved. To the Northern suburbs of Cape Town. And found a place where he was happy. And where I commuted to work for >1hr :( , so I wasnt so happy, but as we all know, it doesnt matter as long as your kids are happy...

But i got on the internet, and looked for jobs. Just to see what I could get when qualfied. Nothing in Oz, but some in UK.

Since that time I sporadically checked. And things remained the same status quo workwise.

But other things happened.

ESKOM and rolling blackouts. Food going off in the fridge. We have all but forgotten about it now. But at the time it had such an impact on industry...

And I remember people saying they will never leave SA... And then next minute they were gone!

Suddenly every friend knew someone who had gone somewhere.

It seemed that the great South African spirit was diffusing all over the world.

My schoolfriends on Facebook were literally scattered over the four corners of the earth.

It made me think though...

My new baby was born Feb 2011. And as they did a hearing test on her in the hosp, I asked then if I should do one on my little boy too. Because it seems like he cant hear me sometimes, And he has just turned 3 and doesnt speak, but some kids are just late talkers, right? Her eyes went wide, and she said tactfully to the new mum to get it done asap. And so began the 3 month roller coaster which led to the horrible diagnosis of autism. And what followed was OT's and speech therapists and child neurologists and developmental psych. And it broke my heart.

I could only seriously consider leaving SA in Feb 2012, when I finished my post grad degree.

Suddenly the world was my oyster (Oh, and I was unemployed! That felt less oyster-like)

I wanted to leave for my son now.

Services for disbled kids in SA is not great.

And Australia is good.

And if SA is a horrible country for white men. What is going to happen to my boy when he grows up? And he will be a white disbled guy... :cry:

I had a few years in the UK in the late 90's and I didnt like it.

But Australia was doing great things for autism. So my mind was made up. We are going straight there.

And then the shock. I downloaded all I could. And found the medical for kids and found out that autism is an exclusion for PR.

So the place that could help him, would also not allow him in... :angry2:

And at the same time I was searching the internet for jobs, someone sent me an email about a post grad fellowship at Melbourne Uni. I applied. It was a worldwide thing, so no chance, but what the hell. Strange how this job came up after 5 years of looking for work sporadically on internet, but never seeing anything in Oz... :magic:

I started my own business, since the uni here wouldnt keep me on, except for one day a week in some nominal teaching position. "No jobs", they said. (Should have said, no jobs for pale face. Since a job miraculously appeared when someone a tad darker than I asked a few months later... :censored: )

And then in August 2012 I got email saying that I had been chosen based on my CV and can I start early 2013. I said, sorry, I need to know more, esp what this pays... Only to find out it is a stipend really. For one person to make a subsistence living on. But it is only for a year. And I could stay on, and then get paid more...

OH and I wondered if we would be able to live on that, for a year. Bundled into tiny flat. Al 5 sleeing in one room?

If we sold our house here, would the money keep us for a year? What does stuff cost? What visa can we get? Should we even consider without PR? Too many questions...

I said to the Prof I needed to see what is what. I will come there. So I went to see him 1st of Nov. And it was so very first world there. So efficient. So cutting edge.

But it was expensive. I couldnt kid myself anymore. We were not going to manage. :blush:

I had found a SA friend from school there(but she is going back to SA in 2013). And I stayed with her and she showed me round. And i even met a lovely couple off the forum...

I met the guy again for a second time. And then he offered my an increase in the salary! And a better job than the one I initially went for! I couldnt believe my luck!!! A 457 to start with, and when I get my skills officially validated he will sponsor my for PR. Yay.

But then I came clean and said I have a disabled child. He didnt know much about how this affected the visa, but said to address it when it comes...

To be continued...

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Oh boy you have me in tears!

The power of love you have for your son shines through in every word

I cannot begin to imagine the emotional stress you are under.

Migration to a new land is at the best of times a rollercoaster and yours seems to be harder than most

but you are so right - aussie is the best place for your son

But if it ends up not to be then I can see from your "mother lion" attitude, that you will fight to get him what he needs regardless

of which country you are living in - GO MOM!!

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I would first and foremost make contact on this forum with a PM to SD_MOA or Stephen Dickson of Migrations Outcomes Australia, http://www.migrateaus.com.au/ He will tell you exactly what your chances are for PR. Coming on a 457 will probably be possible, however, you will have to have private visitor medical cover, not sure if that will be a problem for your son as an existing medical condition. There have certainly been cases that have been fought, with regard to existing medical conditions, AND WON, but of course life does not come with guarantees.

I will certainly say a prayer for you that there is a great outcome for you, and if you ever find yourself in Melbourne again, feel free to make contact.

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We have been so blessed by having our PR visa granted recently. I can honestly say that I am following your story and am cheering for you on the sidelines.

I am so tired of being victimised for things out of my control (being a pale, female teacher who does not coach rugby :angry: ) and I can only imagine how scared you must be. This is a huge decision for anyone, but I thinks it's even bigger for you. Something keeps telling me, though, that you should take this leap of faith. Determination and love are rewarded as fortune favours the brave. And it is obvious from your posts that you are brave.

If you do decide to go I will have a mini celebration and on the day your PR visa is granted I will have a big one for you!!

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Holding thumbs for you every step of the way....

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  • 4 weeks later...

Dont give up hope and keep pushing on. Really hope you will find a way.

Edited by team44
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So I came back to SA after trip to Oz in Nov 2012.

And told my OH what I saw and what happened. He was very excited. The photos were nice. The possibilities were great. But we were not sure about taking the chance on a 457. Still not sure actually. And it is Jan 2013 now.

I have started the process of getting my skills recognised. This ia taking ages (is that normal? :blush: ) Need forms and certificates and all in the same language and stamped by the same person.

At least with 457 I dont need to rewrite IELTS for better points!

But bad news is I may have to do some sort of exam. Which, wait for it, can only be done in OZ. So I will have to go again to do that at some stage... Could have told me before I went in the first place! :angry2: (Yes, I did check the website, but it was apparently out of date, as they have changed the rules recently...And now the actual visa depends on passing the exam)

My son is in a special needs school here in CT now.

My eldest is in Gr4 and moaning about homework.

My little girl is 2y old and going to creche.

I am beyond hectic at work.

Life is going on.

In fact I am so busy, I dont have time to think about leaving SA much.

Except that time when your head goes crazy, you know, when you get into bed and turn the light off and try and switch your mind off too? And then it doesnt work and you keep thinking pro's and con's. And if you had a good day? "Oh maybe SA is not so bad after all..." And if they broke in at your mother in law's a few km's from you, AGAIN, the "Oh dear best get out before a burglary turns into something worse" thoughts come.

In reality I know that SA is going down the drain, but so slowly, at times one doesnt notice it... :glare:

And then there are a few large jumps again. Lonmin or new BEE or admssion policies at universities... And then you know...

I stare out at the mountain at times. In awe of the beauty of this country, but so angry at the people in power. This eternal dichotomy.

Someone on this forum said in essence not to be short sighted but "think about where you want to die, and not where you want to live. And then go there."

That makes sence. Here your life is in limbo. It depends on the whim of some politician taking advice from Zimabwe... :angry2:

Shortly after coming back to SA I had the weirdest experience. No, really!

I was sitting in my office, when this elderly, but spritely lady came to see me. Quite frail. And heavy accent of some sort. Turns out it was Polish, but her English was brilliant. She was visiting from the UK. She was Jewish. Very inteligent and well travelled and wise.

Anyway during the course of discussing anything from education to economic policies. She abruptly stopped and deadly serious, looked me straight in the eye and said...

"What is your escape plan?"

I for a split second thought she was talking about escape in event of a fire.

But then it dawned that she was talking about escaping the country!

I said I didnt have one. (Not told anyone at work about my plans, so dont want rumours)

And she looked surprised.

"But surely you are educated", she said sarcastically,"you see the signs".

She then proceded to pull up her sleeve, and there was a number tatooed on her arm.

"Do you know what I am?" She said. (Not who, WHAT.)

By now I had an inkling, but was fairly shocked.

"I am a holocaust survivor. Listen to me, we have a saying: If the ship lists, get off. And this ship is not just listing, it is sinking! And I should know. Get out. Now. And I will tell you where to go as well... Not the rest of Africa - that goes without saying. Not USA too much political problems. Not Europe/UK their socialistic attitude is ruining them. The Pacific rim is the place. Specifically Australia. And in Australia? Melbourne of course. Best place for your specific skillset. So go there." :o

She got up, hugged me and kissed me on both cheeks. "Promise me you will go? For you kids?"

And then she left.

I felt like there was some sort of hidden camera somewhere! How did she know? :ph34r:

Weird? Do you agree?

To be continued...

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@Eyebrow. Now if that's not a sign :holy: , then I don't know! I got goosebumps and tears in my eyes when I read this last update of yours. I hope and pray that your plans work out. (Must admit, the exam is a rather awful surprise :wacko: ...not to mention expensive :o!) Please keep us updated. You have an entire forum standing behind you cheering you on. :ilikeit:

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holy moly that is incredible! I would have just sat down and cried if I had that experience. And no, not wierd, a blerry great big sign!

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In neon - 3 metres high, Eyebrow.

I think most of us are too close to Africa, and (especially those in Cape Town) don't see the very real deterioration - I'm sure Krystalnacht caught the German Jews by surprise, too. And she pointed it out to you Those people (yes, Jewish holocaust survivors - not all Jewish, yadda, yadda) have antennae 2 metres long for this sort of thing.

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If that's not an answer to prayer then I don't know what is. I think you know what you need to do. :)

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To get back in character - she didn't have wings and a halo? :)

Closest thing to a warning angel I've heard of in years.

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No wings, no halo!

I checked!

I kept thinking someone had told her.

But since just me and my OH knows (not even family!), there could not have been anyone... :ph34r:

And it seemed unlikely that the travel agent at Flightcentre told her... :thumbdown:

I am always wary of this "sign seeing" thing.

Because if you want to see one, you probably will.

Eg when I drive from work to UCT on the N2 out of Cape Town. There is a Melbourne Rd turn off. Which I had never noticed until I started thinking about going to Melbourne. Then I was all like, "Oooh, that is a sign". (OK sure, it is a ROAD sign, but I meant the other one :P )

While really, it had been there all along...

But it did rattle me! I rang OH immediately after she left!

Reality is... Disbled kid does not equal PR visa.

And yes, we are very very sheltered from real RSA in Cape Town.

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There has to be something said about that chance meeting. Funny as we are headed to Melbourne too and noticed Melbourne Rd just a few days ago after having lived in Cpt all my life. Now if only our house would sell. The journey has been a struggle for us all the way but the signs are there which we just cant ignore. We are routing for you!!

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No wings, no halo!

I checked!

I kept thinking someone had told her.

But since just me and my OH knows (not even family!), there could not have been anyone... :ph34r:

And it seemed unlikely that the travel agent at Flightcentre told her... :thumbdown:

I am always wary of this "sign seeing" thing.

Because if you want to see one, you probably will.

Eg when I drive from work to UCT on the N2 out of Cape Town. There is a Melbourne Rd turn off. Which I had never noticed until I started thinking about going to Melbourne. Then I was all like, "Oooh, that is a sign". (OK sure, it is a ROAD sign, but I meant the other one :P )

While really, it had been there all along...

But it did rattle me! I rang OH immediately after she left!

Reality is... Disbled kid does not equal PR visa.

And yes, we are very very sheltered from real RSA in Cape Town.

I LOLed and PMSLed at this post - except for the second last sentence.

I wish there was something I could do.

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I have been following your tale closely and at so many times have wanted to post and encourage you to go, but have hesitated because what if I did and you got here and couldn't stay.

Part of me wants to say go with the 457, you are not just limited to one and can have as many as your sponsor is willing to offer. You could live here for 10 or 20 years, that's 10 or 20 years that you know your child would have good care.

Part of me wants to say go, other people have successfully fought this, you could too.

Go, the law may change.......go, you might be able to come up with the money to show that you can provide for your child's medical care, thus relieving the country.

Go, the meeting with the lady WAS a sign.........go, because the idea and desire is already in you and to not at least try means a dream that can't be realised.

The are just some people that you " meet" through this forum that resonate and stay with you for some reason, you are one of them. I so want this to happen for you and your family.

The reality is that as much as we want this for you, we can't be certain that it will all work out for you, so it has to be your and hubby's decision. Just know that if you decide to " go" myself and I'm certain every other member of this forum, will do whatever we can to help.

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Andrea, I could've written that post myself. It's exactly what I feel. I'll do what I can to help, which is really not all that much apart from moral support.

You made me somewhat snotty - but I am sentimental. Terrible when you have a reputation like I hope mine is.

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You sentimental fool you. I wish you were closer than Canberra, we could have a few drinks and " snot en trane" together.....although my ability to understand Afrikaans diminishes in direct comparison to my alcohol intake .........

And what reputation is that "thong boy"? ;)

Edited by AndreaL
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You sentimental fool you. I wish you were closer than Canberra, we could have a few drinks and " snot en trane" together.....although my ability to understand Afrikaans diminishes in direct comparison to my alcohol intake .........

And what reputation is that "thong boy"? ;)

I HOPE it's hardegat and insensitive - I love to hunt and shoot after all - terrible when a destroyer of nature like me can be brought to tears by Shrek (my daughter laughed at me). ;)

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Well Eyebrow, I am in Melbourne, if there is anything I can do to help, all you have to do is shout!

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Eyebrow this has been the most amazing thread I think I've ever read.

If that old lady wasn't sent from above, shew then I don't know!

I hope you get there, I hope the law changes, I hope that while this journey may challenge you, it never gives you cause to give up hope completely.

Take heart... I will be another rooting for you all the way!

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Wow. And I thought I had it hard just because Im struggling to sell my house. Eyebrow your story is inspiring, and I too feel like Andrea and OBD. Go! Do not even hesitate anymore. So yes the PR is a bit of an issue, but once you are there, there might be other options and opportunities, and other roads you can take. And it will be easier to spot them once you are there than from here.

I fully believe in signs, we have just become so blinded by life that we have lost the ability to spot them, and they very rarely appear as clear as this lady. We just need to learn to "trust our gut" without secondguessing it with doubts and " what-ifs" because our gut feels are usually spot on.

So go. Even if you cannot get PR. And even if it is only for a few years. It will be much better for all your kids and you to have had that life experience, and it would also be much better than you wondering for the rest of your life what would have happened if you went.

The future here is no more certain than it would be there.

My thoughts are with you guys and I hope that it all works out.

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The other day, a consultant guy from Greece came. He kind of travels the world, pops into a place for 6 weeks, advises on business and then leaves. He is in his mid 30's and single. So I guess he can do that sort of thing.

Anyway, he asks me where he should go in Cape Town during his time off?

I think a while. Because living here, does not mean I actually get to see the place. I go from home to work to school to pick and pay... You get the idea.

So I start out with: the Waterfront, Table mountain, Camps Bay or Houtbay beach, the castle, a wine farm or 2 etc. I mean I am proud of SA right? No country in the world like this, right? I wish I could travel more. And Cape Town is definately up there!

He then went to those places and didnt like them. He prefers to see the "real" country and not the tourist attractions. He walked through district 6 and went to markets etc

Then in the end before he left, he said something profound: You (SA) create a artificial world for yourselves and the tourists here. But is feels false. Glitz and glamour. But false. The real South Africa is brewing underneath. And it is not pretty. How long before you yourselves and your tourists see this?

This made me think. We do live in a fake world that we create. It makes us feels safe. And we smile and live. But it is a thin veneer. We feel it, but lie to ourselves.

Red pill, Blue pill?

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@Eyebrow, I am seriously starting to get the impression that someone is trying to send you a message. Where's that emotiocon for goose bumps when you need it?

Edited by HadEnoughofJuju
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