UNHAPPY IN AUSTRALIA

[4Coetzees]

Lately I saw alot of posts about unhappiness with the move and the hubby and coping with the kids while hubby is working and house cleaning and etc etc etc.

Who wanted to return to SA after a few days or weeks or months and why?

Are there any that returned to SA and might go back to Australia?

Are there any of you that never want to return to Australia?

Edited July 16, 2010 by Want to go now....

[4Coetzees]

This topic still going??? Can't believe I started this 4 years ago, nê?

We were unhappy in Canberra and we moved to Perth - MUCH BETTER CHOICE MATES!

I came to Straya. Stayed and had good days and bad days. All my Ozzie bosses were excellent! My current boss is ex-Saffer and after I resigned on Monday, he called me every name in the book for being disrespectful towards management because I did not discuss my new plans with them.

My previous Ozzie boss offered me a great package to return back to my old company. NOW HOW IS THAT FOR AN OZZIE, M8?

So yes, you have good days and bad days, but I will be damned if I have to take my lil ozzie girl out of school and give up my brand new house at the lagoon that we purchased on a minimum salary wage. Only in Straya.... this is where I will live!

[Eva]

Almost 18 months in Australia, and honestly, not one minute of wishing I was back in South Africa, not one regret!

We are settled and happy and loving our lives in our new country!

Feeling a little sad right now after hearing a friend has died, but count my blessings each day....

[Shellfish]

Aagh, South African's get on my nerves. They arrive in Australia and think that because they have a degree, nice car and earn decent money that they are important. News Flash  Princess - so do most people in Aus. You are the same as everyone else. No-one is running around calling you baas and thinking you are a better person and more deserving of nice things and happiness - You are the same as everyone else. If that's not enough and you need to feel important and be in the elite, best you head back..

[RYLC]

10 minutes ago, Naomin81 said:

It's just that he didn't study for 13 years to become a high school teacher. He is way overqualified. He can lecture biology at university level.

Maybe in RSA he can but the requirements for university lecturer may be very different here.  Also having English as a second language will possibly be a negative for a lecturer job.

So yes it is low compared to what he is qualified to do. It's the same as telling an engineer they have to take a position as a draughtsman. Or a pediatrician that has to be an ambulance assistant. I don't regard other fields of study as beneath my own.

Many an engineer has delivered pizza to get some money coming in while they look for work.  I know of a lawyer who cleaned houses while she didn't have a legal job.  So yes I'm telling you that an engineer may indeed work as a draughtsman to get his foot in the door.

Anyway, it is a really big issue with us because my husband doesn't clean, so I made a deal with him that he pay me minimum wage per hour that I spend on cleaning OR we don't immigrate.

He is going to have to change his ways and particularly his attitudes.  Migration is hard enough on a marriage without attitudes getting in the way.  Very traditional couples in particular seem to struggle with a more equal share of household duties and I know some who have divorced over laundry and cleaning.

On a different note:

Our marriage contract isn't set up to allow me to be a stay at home mom. What do I do?

Don't quite know what you mean by this statement. 

I hope for your sake that I'm wrong but I think that you'll find that Australia is not going to suit you.  Have you done a Look See trip?  I would strongly advise that you do one if you can.  Have you travelled overseas at all to any other countries too?

 

Edited December 1, 2015 by RYLC

[candivw]

I wanted to go home after a few months here, I am now glad I stayed and would never go back now voluntarily.

I got a job after 2 months of being at home here, in RSA i was a consultant in insurance, here i was someones PA, I quit the job after 14 days as I really could not stand the lady I was supposed to be a PA too, she had less experience in the job than I had and spoke to everyone like they were her slave. I tried applying for other work but I was in a specialized field and that was the only office in WA that did that type of insurance. I have given up applying for office jobs and now work as a cleaner for some spending money 3 mornings a week. Life is not as easy as some people make out, between my husband and I we are earning and income of close to $90K a year but we still battle financially as we are on a 457 and get no benefits and are paying off a car. Even though things have been a battle I am enjoying it here, have gotten over my homesickness and missing family.

Edited July 16, 2010 by candivw

[Dereko]

We are newbies to Australia and have been here for close on three months. The first two months were spend deciding between making Queensland or NSW our new home and we have decided on NSW. We have been activily seeking employment for the past few weeks and thus far have been unsuccessful, but I can honestly say that I have not once thought about going back to SA. We have embraced Australia and once we get through this hurdle of getting employment we will be on our way to living the dream. We do miss our friends and family, but having the freedom of going out and not being fearful is priceless.

[K-Vdm]

My hubby actually asked me last night if there were any statistics about how many Saffers return home from Oz as his current boss said to him they are streaming in by the shipload

We know he is talking crapiola but I was wondering if one could check such a statistic somewhere?

[Jordy]

My hubby actually asked me last night if there were any statistics about how many Saffers return home from Oz as his current boss said to him they are streaming in by the shipload

We know he is talking crapiola but I was wondering if one could check such a statistic somewhere?

According to the 2008/9 stats About 8.8% of South Africans who enter Aus leave, but only 2% return to South Africa.

http://www.saaustralia.org/index.php?s=&am...st&p=241783

[K-Vdm]

According to the 2008/9 stats About 8.8% of South Africans who enter Aus leave, but only 2% return to South Africa.

http://www.saaustralia.org/index.php?s=&am...st&p=241783

Wow - thanks for that Jordy!

[matman]

Almost 10yrs for us - no chance we will ever go back.

Going back would now feel alien to us and especially to our kids who have known nothing else but Australia.

The beginning was tough and we made the move from Syd to Mel and have settled really well here.

Gotta love this one - Just had my 10yr long service leave come through - this is awesome - Not sure if there are any other countries out there that do this, but after 10yrs I get 8.66weeks paid leave and after 15 it accumulates to 13weeks

Rgds

Matman

[Mara]

Been here 14 years, no way I would ever go back.

[elleneo]

Been here 11 months and counting the days till citizenship..I would never say never as you dont know what life throws at you..maby hubby gets an offer in germany?..maby we move to Japan for the fun of it..but as I sit here now..I wont go back to SA voluntarily because of homesickness or whatnot..there would have to be a VERY good reason for us to return.

Id also like to add..the housecleaning and so on is really not that bad...get into a routine and change a few habits and your home will be livable and clean 90% of the time!

[Queensland Girl]

http://www.sabona.com.au/articles_detail.e...ing=IMMIGRATING TO ANOTHER PLANET “9 Lessons I’ve Learntâ€

I have added this link, as it is a really good article and does put somethings in perspective.

[Ego]

When I was in Brisbane last year I had lunch with a mate of mine who's been in Aus for about 3 years. He was telling me all about his experiences and the plusses and minusses. He was saying that I must not worry when I meet people who have returned to SA and say that it's a crap country, the people are arrogant, it's too expensive etc etc etc. He says if you dig, you will find that in 99% of the case they had a 457 visa and lost their job (and hence their visa) and are just defending their pride.

It definately made me feel even better about making the move.

[Serendipity]

I miss family back in RSA but i would not go back - life is just to good here.

We have settled so nicely and made so many good friends, it feels like home.

It was 3 months on the 14th July since we landed, yet to experience any downs.

3 years 9 months till we get citizenship . . . cant wait

[FlowersInOz]

I think a lot of us were at some point unhappy in Australia. The culture shock and change can do strange things to a person not to mention the grieving process. But stick it out and work through things and you'll come out a very different person. We are very happy here and cannot even think of living with all the stress and nonsense we had to all those years ago. It is not healthy for a human being to live under such stressful, inhumane, heartbreaking circumstances.

If you're unhappy here, just go with the flow and let the process change you. Here is another great quote on the subject:

What the caterpillar calls the end of the world,

the Master calls a butterfly.

Immigration can bring all sorts of wonderful things to your life. Not only beautiful, bright opportunities but also a lot of positive personal growth.

[koosd]

The first three months was like a holiday for me. Then I started to miss my family and everything that was familiar. Our container wasn't even delivered, when we started to get quotes to sent it back. Then one morning I decided that I'm going to give Australia a chance. I am now glad I stayed and would never go back, not voluntarily.

We are bussy with PR and will be 2 years in Melbourne in September. I think it's just a mind change, but can understand that some people are not willing to start over.

Cecile...

[mom of 3]

We are here 4 months on the 29th!!! I must say, yes we miss friends and family. But what we have here compared to South Africa has no material value! It is a freedom that we have craved for our children and a life where you are not afraid to go outdoors and live. No We will not be going back, not now and well if we can help it not ever!

[Annief]

Another no way here (although we lived in the UK for 5 and a half years - but wanted to go back to SA MANY a time while we were there). We absolutely love it here, although summer can't come quick enough! Adelaide is quite cold (for a Durbanite anyway lol!) and the houses aren't insulated like the UK but honestly, we are so happy here. We had a long holiday in SA en route to Aus and while I always love visiting and seeing friends and family, I was so glad we don't have to put up with all the rubbish (politics, crime etc) on a full time basis! It's not so much that we don't think about leaving here as much as thinking just about every day how grateful we are to BE here!

[Annief]

Meant to say we've been here 6 months!

[Maloui]

Been here for 10 months and a lot of very stressful things have happened during this time, but we are BLESSED to be here and suppose only if it's God's will, will we return to SA.

I have had a serious down time, but not once wanted to return to SA. I also have a bit of a bad taste in the mouth about cousin's and family in SA having horrible things to say about Australia, without any knowledge or experience to back that up. I cant be bothered with their totally crap attitude (can I say all-judging gods???) and they probably make Australia sooo much better...

I am getting a fair go in Australia, and feel very thankful!

[NotLookingBack]

Been here 8 months, and will not go back, no way. What on earth to? Living like a prisoner in my own home? Don't think so. I was actually thinking about it just this week - and wondering whether we would go back if the situation in SA made a complete u-turn - and my honest answer to myself was NO.

We absolutely LOVE living here, fitted in from the word go (yes, hubby is still working hard at settling into his new work environment, but that too will happen), will start building our own home one of these days (can't WAIT!!!), have made some amazing friends - Aussies and ex-Saffers, can't wait to see more of this beautiful country, etc etc. Yes, we miss some friends from SA, but you move on, and they will always be part of your life, even if just in your memories of the good times you had together.

You know ... my 12 year old daughter and her friend just got back home after walking to the local Milk Bar (about 45 mins walk away) this afternoon, would NEVER have given her that freedom back in Durban, not even close! There the kids couldn't even walk 20m to the neighbour's house without me making sure that she was safely in their yard with the electric gate shut behind them.

This place isn't perfect, I realise that, but you can't compare what we have here with what we had in SA.

We are here to stay.

[chalmers family]

next month we have been in Aus for 1 year and would NEVER EVERY go back to SA.

We absolutely LOVE our new country!!!!\

[4Coetzees]

next month we have been in Aus for 1 year and would NEVER EVERY go back to SA.

We absolutely LOVE our new country!!!!\

I still remember when you guys had been burgled while waiting to fly over.... can't believe it is already a year!

Enjoy!

[Riekie]

Will be here 6 years in November. There's been a few bad days emotionally (and I still get them now and then) but I've never even remotely considered going back.

We prepared ourselves so well before we came over and expected the worse emotionally. We discussed time-out signs for when the dark days hit and how we'll support each other through them. We really thought it was going to be a ride through hell, and it wasn't, but if it was, we would have been prepared. I think a lot of people get on that plane with a song in the heart and expecting this whole new wonderful life where tears and sadness and fears about the future do not exist - and then it hits them and they want to get on the first flight back.

I have all the compassion in the world for anyone who does not cope emotionally but you could avoid all that (or at least minimise it) by preparing yourself emotionally BEFORE you make the move. Know that there will be bad days where you'll regret giving up everything for this new life which is not always all that fantastic. Know that you'll probably struggle financially, that you'll probably be employed in a position "inferior" to where you've been in South Africa, that you'll probably not afford the mansion, the luxury cars, the 6 big screen TV's and a little house by the sea. Know that you'll miss your family and your friends and that you'll mourn them for months and even years. Know that your kids will blame you for taking them away from their friends and that they'll be sad and lonely initially. Be realistic about your expectations and be open about it before you make the move. Tell the kids they'll miss their friends and that, at times, they'll want to go back. Don't suger coat it just so they buy into it (and don't fool yourself into it, if you're not emotionally ready!) - be open and honest with yourself and each other. Then, when the bad times hit, you can look at each other and reassure each other that this time will pass. You cannot make peace with your decision after you get here - you have to do that before you get on that plane.

People spend so much time on researching all the logistics and the materialistics that they forget to prepare the most precious and fragile part of the whole process - their emotions. If your head is right, you can conquer the world - with or without the right house or the right suburb or the right school and without their bonsai, wooden furniture, ostrich eggs and garden tools.

Don't walk into this with rose-coloured lenses and a 40ft container. You're setting yourself up for failure.

That's just my bit of advice from my own experience - hope it at least make ppl think a bit about things.